


Fix Me, Fix You: A Jesse Pinkman Story

by ampersandasterisk



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Breaking bad - Freeform, F/M, Post-Episode: s05e16 Felina, Romance, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-11-27 04:55:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 71,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampersandasterisk/pseuds/ampersandasterisk
Summary: Everything about New Orleans made Jesse Pinkman feel alive. Though he was en route to Miami, he found himself starting his life over in Louisiana instead. Everything and everyone in Louisiana made him a better person. (Post-Felina warning)





	1. Chapter 1

The oversized Greyhound bus pulled up alongside the curb where Jesse Pinkman and two other strangers were standing idly. The low rumble of the parked bus was met with a deeper rumble from above. Jesse glanced upward. Though the sky was pitch black at four o'clock in the morning, he could still see the dark grey clouds rolling through the Albuquerque sky, threatening to drop rain and lightning. The weather so perfectly matched Jesse's mood.

With nervous trembling hands, he threw his large backpack over his shoulder then followed behind the two strangers and boarded the bus. He handed the driver his ticket and walked through the narrow aisle to find a seat.

The overhead light was dim due to the late hour. It flickered as Jesse sauntered below it, observing the ten other passengers – all of them were asleep. He chose a window seat toward the empty back of the bus and sat down, sinking low into his seat, wanting to neither be seen nor heard.

Though he knew he was in the clear and no longer in danger of being thrown in jail or killed, he was still paranoid about being seen, especially by locals. His name and face were all over the news stations that covered the recent tragic and traumatic story of his old high school chemistry teacher turned meth manufacturer turned "monstrous" meth kingpin – aka the story of Walter White's transformation into Heisenberg, who just so happened to be Jesse's meth-cooking partner.

Three months ago, the story came to a head when Heisenberg, after running from the law for months, returned with a vengeance to take care of the last of his business before dying. In the process of it all, he managed to free Jesse from being held captive as a meth-cooking slave, but it didn't take long for the police to find Jesse's fingerprints and connect him to Heisenberg's crimes.

Jesse's name was eventually cleared when (most of) the truth came out about him being held against his will to cook meth. His role in (known) previous crimes was overlooked due to his cooperation, and most charges were dropped when he gave up the names of the few people in the business who were still alive.

Eight hours ago, he got the call that his role in the investigation was done. His name was officially cleared. He dropped everything and began packing. He packed his few belongings, flushed his stash of drugs, shaved his head and trimmed his beard, gathered his money, and headed for the bus station. He was ready to start his life over.

Rain began to fall as the bus began to move. Jesse rubbed his freshly shaven – but tear-stained – face as he stared out of the window. His bloodshot eyes watched as his hometown disappeared behind him.

The last two years of his life had been a **living hell**. He didn't look or feel like the same person anymore. But it was finally over; he was finally free.

He tried to sleep. He wanted so desperately to sleep, but his body was restless. His hands were beginning to shake, but he didn't know if it was from anxiety or sobriety. Probably both.

By the time the sun came up, Jesse was going through full-blown withdrawal. He was sweating and shaking and writhing in his seat. His stomach was in knots. He pulled the fabric hood of his leather jacket over his shaved head, trying to hide his anguish. He prayed he could hold it together long enough to make it to the next stop, where they had a fifteen minute bathroom break.

He groaned slightly when the other passengers began to wake up. Slow chatter started to build. The noise hurt his ears and the lights hurt his eyes. His head pounded. He leaned forward, taking deep breaths.

"Alright folks," the bus driver announced. "We're in Tucumcari, New Mexico. It is 6:50 AM. This is a fifteen-minute restroom and food break. Our next stop will be in Amarillo, Texas around 10:20, so you might want to take advantage of this stop."

Before anyone else could even begin to stand up, Jesse had booked it to the front of the bus and out the door. His strained eyes searched for signs of a bathroom, and he bee-lined toward it when he spotted it.

Just as he was barging through the door and into a stall, the contents of his stomach came rushing up his esophagus. He grunted and allowed the bile to pour out of his mouth. He braced himself against the wall as his body trembled and his throat burned.

Once he had expelled everything in his stomach, he stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He exited the stall and walked over to the sinks where he examined his appearance as he washed his hands. The bags under his eyes were dark, but his eyeballs were bright red. His cheeks were flushed. He looked strung out and pathetic. And that was exactly how he felt.

He leaned against the counter and sighed, staring at his pitiful reflection in the mirror. It was going to be a long bus ride to Miami.


	2. Chapter 2

"Welcome to the French Quarter in New Orleans, folks," the bus driver announced. "We have an hour and a half layover here. If you're continuing the ride with me, we'll meet back here at four o'clock. If you're transferring to another bus, please refer to the schedule inside the station for your departure time."

Jesse waited for all the other passengers to exit the bus before he stood to do the same. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, holding onto the strap, then made his way off the bus.

The bright sun made his head throb. His withdrawal symptoms had mostly subsided by then, but his headache and nausea refused to go away. The tinted bus windows had alleviated some of the tension from the natural lighting, but he was fully exposed now.

He stood aimlessly for a moment when he exited the bus, unsure of where to go. The other passengers were scattering, as if they knew exactly where they wanted to go in the city. He envied their certainty for so many different reasons.

He walked around to the other side of the bus, and that's when he saw it.

It was like someone had flipped on a light switch. People were everywhere. Happy people. Drunk people. People in costumes. People in formalwear. He could hear music, laughter, and chatter. He could smell Cajun food and dirty streets. The humidity was sticking to his skin like glue.

He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder, still clutching the strap, and continued walking deeper into the French Quarter.

He passed gift shops selling inappropriate t-shirts and obscure voodoo dolls, restaurants smelling of spices and seafood, and bars already full of inebriated tourists. Vendors lined the sidewalks selling overpriced paintings and handmade jewelry, and street performers played songs of jazz and blues to entertain the audiences gathered around them. The antique architecture of the buildings sent even more unique vibes through the streets, making New Orleans one of the most unique cities to experience.

Jesse walked through crowds of people as his tired, sober eyes searched for somewhere to go. It was an overwhelming change in scenery from his hometown. His heart pounded in his chest somewhat frantically as he made his way up some cement stairs to get away from the crowds yet continue exploring.

When he reached the stop of the stairs, he paused. He was standing on top of a boardwalk that overlooked the Mississippi River. The view took his breath away. The sun reflected off of the river as a beautiful steamboat slowly passed. A bridge could be seen in the distance, with many cars traveling in both directions. Kids were running around, people were talking, music was still playing, but it was quieter up there. It was peaceful.

He sat down on a bench next to him that overlooked the boardwalk, wanting to soak in the beauty and the peacefulness, something he hadn't experienced in quite a while.

His heart slowed to a normal rate. The blood in his veins warmed from the early- August heat. The slight breeze kept his skin at the perfect temperature. He wasn't sure if he had ever been that comfortable in his entire life.

He was suddenly very aware of himself, but he realized that no one else was. No one was paying any attention to him. Sure, people looked at him, but no one eyed him any certain way. He didn't stand out. He was blending in.

"Mom, look!" A young boy shouted as he pointed ahead of him. "The aquarium! Let's go!"

"Hold on," his mother dismissed as she snapped a picture of the river.

But Jesse's eyes followed to where the boy was pointing. A huge building stood off to his side, lined with glass windows from nearly top to bottom, with large letters that read "Audubon Aquarium of the Americas."

He watched as the boy dragged his reluctant mother by the hand toward the aquarium. He glanced at his watch. He still had over an hour left to kill.

So he stood and followed the boy and his mother to the aquarium.

~

Jesse stood alone in a long tunnel made of crystal clear glass that ran through a large tank of fish and sharks and stingrays and coral. The blue of the water reflected onto his face. It felt as if he were floating in an ocean with the sea animals, which he figured was the point of the tunnel, but it worked. He shoved his hands into his pockets, just watching the fish glide around him.

It was a calming and serene view, though he couldn't help but compare the blue color of the water to the blue color of the meth he helped Heisenberg create. It was astonishing how something so beautiful and peaceful reminded him of something so destructive and vile. But he was so traumatized by the last two years of his life that he expected ugly reminders like that from time to time.

He started to make his way through the glass barrier to go on to the next exhibit when he saw her.

She was laying flat on her back in the middle of the tunnel, staring at the marine life above her. He hadn't noticed her earlier.

Jesse cleared his throat gently in an attempt to grab her attention. She didn't budge.

"Uh," he looked around to see if there was anyone else in the tunnel he might've missed, but they were alone. "Yo, are you okay?"

The girl didn't respond. She didn't flinch or budge or make a sound.

He slowly walked closer to her. "Do you need help getting up or something?"

"Shh," she finally responded.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "What are you doing?"

"Having a midlife crisis," she answered honestly.

He eyed her for a second. She had vibrant blonde hair and bright green eyes. Her skin looked young and healthy. She didn't look a day over 25. "You don't look old enough to be having a midlife crisis."

"I'm having one anyway," she insisted.

A group of school kids, likely on a field trip, entered the opposite end of the tunnel. Their mouths dropped in awe at the sight and little gasps of astonishment echoed off the glass. Jesse couldn't help but smile at their adolescent amazement. He fully understood how they felt. The view made him feel the same way.

"Yo, you're about to get run over by a bunch of preteens," Jesse told the prone girl.

"Good," she replied.

Jesse sighed. He thought the girl was being a bit dramatic and putting on quite a performance, but he could relate to her in a way. After his life came crashing down around him numerous times, he had finally had enough and moved away to start over. It kind of felt like he was having a midlife crisis too.

Despite having done awful things in the past – in the recent past – he was a good person deep down. He wasn't proud of the life he had lived so far, but when he loved someone or something, he loved with his whole heart and mind and body. He felt like maybe it was time to show that side of him and _only_ that side of him. He was washing his hands of his junkie lifestyle of fuck ups and wrongdoings. It was time for him to be his true self.

"Hey," Jesse whispered as he leaned down toward the girl. "There are more respectable ways to die than being trampled by sixth graders."

He held out his hand to help her up. She simply stared at him.

"I'm just saying," he explained with a shrug, still holding his hand out.

She raised her eyebrow at him. He had an odd charm. Though he looked a little tired and worn out, he was cute, no doubt, but she was more drawn to his personality. He was being nice and friendly, _genuinely_ nice and friendly. He wasn't hitting on her or flirting – he was just being...kind. It made her feel at ease.

"If you say so," she sighed as she reached up, took his hand, and allowed him to help her to her feet.

When she was finally standing upright in front of him and he could see her face to face, his heart skipped a beat. She was stunning. Her bright green eyes popped against her light olive skin and soft blonde hair. She was wearing the slightest bit of makeup, but it complimented her girlish features perfectly – her cheekbones, her nose, her eyelashes. He couldn't stop staring at her.

The group of school kids hurried past them, oblivious to the fact that the girl had been laying on the ground only seconds before.

"So, Mr. Respectable, what do you think's the way to go then?" The girl questioned.

Jesse blinked and looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets as his mind instantly flooded with horrid flashbacks of the deaths he had witnessed. The unnecessary, vile, tragic deaths he'd witnessed and/or caused. The ear piercing sounds of gunshots, explosions, screams, and cries. The guilt crept up into his gut.

He sighed then stared up at the peaceful blue water in front of them. "I dunno..." He shrugged. "Somewhere quiet... No pain... And not at the hands of someone else."

Despite the fact that he was a total stranger, she could see agony in his eyes. She could tell his answer was authentic and stemmed from some sort of traumatic experience. Unfortunately, she understood that feeling all too well. It hit very close to home for her as well.

Judging by the pity on the girl's face, he could tell his answer made him vulnerable, as if all his feelings could be seen through his eyes.

"Ya know, not at the hands of twelve year olds," he added with a wink, trying to cover up his transparency.

She chuckled slightly at his comment. Again, he found himself unable to stop staring at her. Something about her was so different than any other girl he had been attracted to before. He could tell she was damaged, just like him, but she seemed so...pure. Again, something so beautiful reminded him of the vile blue drug. All he heard was how pure it was. All he could see was how pure _she_ was.

"How's your midlife crisis?" He wondered.

She inhaled deeply then slowly exhaled. "Better... Thanks."

"Good," he replied as he smiled at her sweetly. Her heart fluttered. She stood there for a moment, just staring at him, wondering how a stranger made her heart flutter with a simple smile.

Before either could utter another word, her phone vibrated furiously in her pocket. She pulled it from her pocket and held it to her ear, breaking eye contact.

"Hello?" She answered.

Trying not to seem like he was eavesdropping, even though it was impossible to _not_ hear her conversation, Jesse began watching the fish swimming past them through the blue water.

"Yes," the girl continued. "What's wrong? Is she okay?"

Jesse glanced at her for a moment, to gauge the panic on her face, then looked back at the fish.

"Okay, I'll be right there. Thank you," the girl ended the call then turned to Jesse. "I have to go pick up my niece from school..."

"Is she okay?" He wondered.

"Yeah, she's just not feeling well," she brushed it off. "But hey, thanks for saving me from death by sixth graders."

He laughed at her comment. Her heart fluttered again at the sight of his full-blown smile. He was a beautiful human being. Although she _hated_ walking away from such an enigmatic and interesting guy, she knew he was better off not being sucked into her whirlwind of a life.

"You're very welcome," he responded. "Thanks for the company."

"Anytime." She waved slightly then walked away from him, out of the tunnel.

Jesse didn't want her to leave. For a few minutes, his life felt normal and calm, and he owed it to her. But after seeing all of his loved ones suffer or hurt or die because of him, he knew it would be wrong to not let her walk away from his destructive life.

~

The wind blew against Jesse's intense face as he glanced at his watch. It was 3:59. He had been checking the time every two minutes for the last fifteen minutes, but his feet hadn't move from his spot across the street from the bus. He had one minute to board the bus again to continue the rest of the way to Miami, but for some reason, his feet wouldn't move.

His feet were glued to the ground. He was frozen.

He watched as the last few passengers boarded the bus and the driver shut the doors. It was his last chance, but he still couldn't budge.

Something was holding him back, but he didn't know what. Something about New Orleans had a death grip on him. He didn't _want_ to leave. A force was keeping him there, and he figured it was for a reason.

He watched as the bus began to move away and kept his eyes on it until it was out of his sight. He clutched the strap of his backpack tighter in his hand, officially stranded in New Orleans.

Miami can wait another day, right?


	3. Chapter 3

New Orleans was even more vibrant at night. The lights, the people, the music. It was even more energetic than before, if possible. It was louder, brighter, and even more populated. It was unlike anything Jesse had ever experienced before.

A soft smile tugged on his lips as he wandered through the new city. He was enjoying himself, but he couldn't help but question his decision of staying in the Big Easy instead of continuing to Miami. He was so afraid of making another life-altering mistake. But the vibe he felt from the streets sent life back into his bones. And he knew that he had made the right choice – even if it was only for a night.

The sound of drunken karaoke filled his ears as he finished another glass of whiskey. His blood was beginning to warm up from the liquor and he was craving a cigarette. He paid for his drinks and left the bar, the fifth bar he had been to that night.

He was trying to make his way in and out of local bars, having a few drinks here and there, trying to get into a fun mood, even eyeing a few local girls, but he realized he didn't find the same pleasure in drinking and partying that he used to. A lot of the color and fun had been sucked out of his life, and he was going to have to work hard to bring some of it back.

With a lit cigarette perched between his thumb and index finger, Jesse leaned against a brick wall, taking in the scenery and sounds. He was a little hazy from the alcohol, and his eyes were bloodshot again. The nausea from his withdrawal had lingered in his gut all evening and was now intensified.

As he smoked his cigarette, he strolled through downtown New Orleans until he came across a cheap motel. Deciding it was probably time to call it a night, he flicked the cigarette butt into the street and walked into the motel.

"How can I help ya, darlin'?" The older woman behind the desk greeted as Jesse walked in.

The locals were some of the nicest people he had ever met and the hospitality they showed him made him feel at home. How could he not have a semi-permanent smile on his face after encountering these wonderful people?

"Can I get a room for tonight?" He asked.

"Just one night?" She wondered as she typed on her computer.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, feeling the southern hospitality rubbing off on him.

"Alright...that'll be seventy-four dollars and twenty-three cents," she told him.

He nodded, taking his wallet out of his back pocket, pulling out a hundred dollar bill and handing it to her. He didn't have a whole lot of money left after the feds seized everything, but he had enough money to at least get himself started in a new city after selling his house and his expensive sound system and emptying his savings account.

Once Jesse was in his room for the night, he stripped off his worn clothes and stepped into the shower.

Steam rose from behind the shower curtains, fogging up the mirror as he stood under the cascading water. The heat prickled his skin, but he was numb to nearly all pain after the last two years, so it didn't bother him a bit. Using the bar of soap, he scrubbed his skin to wash away the grime from the city. He prayed that the soap would wash away his past as well. His life would be so much easier if his past wasn't hanging over his head 24/7.

He stood under the water, letting the soap bubbles and dirt wash down his torso. He leaned his shoulder against the tile, sighing deeply. He probably wouldn't have such a hard time coping if he wasn't so alone. But he was. He was completely alone.

It was better that way, he knew, because that's how you start over. Leave everything behind. But it was tough having no one to talk to, no one to call, and no one who will call you. He had no one.

He decided that the first thing he would do in Miami is make friends. Some wholesome friends. Friends who built him up and made him a better person.

A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walked over to the bedside table to grab the remote for the TV, but a local newspaper caught his eye.

He began flipping through the pages out of curiosity, to compare the type of news reported in New Orleans to the type of news reported back in Albuquerque. Nothing really caught his eye until he reached the classified ads. One in particular immediately caught his attention...

CARPENTRY HELP NEEDED  
AT QUINN WOODWORKING.  
8841 RUE DE ZAIRE  
MADISONVILLE, LA 70447

He pressed his lips together. That's the type of job he would love to have. He would have to search for a similar job in Miami.

He knew he a job like that would be so fulfilling. It was something he loved to do, something he was good at, and though he never had proper woodwork training, he knew he could learn the skill quickly and proficiently.

After pulling on a pair of clean boxer briefs, Jesse climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling.

He started thinking about the first wooden box he ever made.

When his high school woodshop teacher, Mr. Pike, first gave him the assignment, he blew it off. He thought it was stupid. Just a stupid wooden box. But he got started on it. And finished it in two days. He realized he had actually enjoyed the assignment, and though the box was amateur, it worked like it was supposed to. He had done everything right. It was the only time in his life where he felt like he had done everything right.

He thought about how his teacher reacted when he turned it in to be graded. Mr. Pike asked, "Is this the best you can do, Jesse?"

At first, Jesse was defensive, thinking Mr. Pike was being a smart ass and saying it sucked. But he realized, he was simply asking him, honestly, if that was his best work.

He remembers staring at the box, thinking that he had done everything right but not to the best of his ability. "No... I can do better," he replied to Mr. Pike.

His teacher didn't challenge him to do better, but Jesse challenged himself.

So he continued making wooden boxes. Some for class, some for the hell of it. He got progressively better with each box he made. Even after the class had ended, he continued working on his boxes.

The last box he ever made was the one he was the most proud of. It was perfect to him, made of stunning Peruvian walnut and inlaid zebrawood. He sanded it for days and rubbed it down with Tung oil. It was beautiful. It even smelled good.

He decided to give it to his mom. He gave her hell so much as a teenager (and even well into his twenties), and he thought she would appreciate a 'just because' gift, especially one he made himself. But the night before he gave it to her, he wanted to get high, so he desperately traded the box for a single ounce of shitty weed.

He sighed deeply, regretting that decision so much. He still couldn't believe he had done something so stupid and selfish. It was a great example of how the rest of his life had played out as well. It was _that_ aspect of himself that he hated, that he wanted to get rid of.

He was **done** with that part of himself. He was better than that. He **knew** he was better than that. And he was going to live the rest of his life to his full potential.

The next morning, after a solid eight hours of sleep, Jesse went down to the bus station to buy another ticket to continue the rest of the way to Miami.

He stood in line at the ticket window, feeling hesitant despite his great night of sleep. Every time the line got smaller, his heart thumped faster in his chest. His brain made the plans to continue to Miami, but it was as if his body didn't get the memo (or rather, didn't _like_ the memo) and was rejecting the idea.

Nervously, he glanced around him. A yellow flier pinned to a bulletin board caught his eye.

CARPENTRY HELP NEEDED  
AT QUINN WOODWORKING  
8841 RUE DE ZAIRE  
MADISONVILLE, LA 70447

"Sir?"

Jesse couldn't take his eyes off the flier. It was as if someone placed the flier in that exact spot so he would see it. It was typed up, printed out, and posted right there specifically for him to see.

"Sir, can I help you?"

He realized the woman behind the window was talking to him. He was the next one in line.

"Sorry," he glanced at her as he walked up to the window, still glancing at the flier every few seconds.

"That's alright, how may I help you today?" She offered.

"One ticket please," he told her.

"And what is your intended destination?" She asked, clacking away at her keyboard.

"Miami," he answered.

But as the yellow flier waved in his peripheral vision, he wondered... Why Miami? Was it just because it was far away?

Why not New Orleans? It was far enough away, right?

It wasn't like he was on the run. Why did he feel like he was on the run? No one said he had to go to Miami. Hell, no one said he had to go anywhere.

"Actually," Jesse interrupted the woman behind the window. "Cancel the ticket."

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah," he nodded as he began to walk away. "Thanks."

Why **not** New Orleans? He liked, no **loved**, New Orleans. The city made him feel good, inside and out, and he already had numerous positive experiences in the past 24 hours alone. So, he made a decision for himself for once.

He was going to stay in Louisiana... For now, at least.


	4. Chapter 4

Jesse stared out the taxi window at the sun shining over Lake Pontchartrain. The huge body of water looked calm and peaceful as he traveled over it. So many things in New Orleans had already made him feel at ease; it was reassurance that he had made the right decision to stay in Louisiana. Now it was time to see if he could start a life there.

Forty-five minutes later, the cab dropped him off at the end of a gravel road, in front of a large shed that was situated next to two beautiful old homes that overlooked a small lake. The first one, the one closest to the shop, was a light blue two-story house with white shutters. It stood a few feet off the ground with white stairs leading up to the porch. The second house was smaller, only one story, and was white with black shutters. It also stood a few feet off the ground and had white stairs leading to the porch, which wrapped around the entire house. They were older homes, but it was obvious they had been updated and remodeled recently.

The rocks crunched under Jesse's feet as he approached the shop. He knocked on the door a couple times.

"Come on in!" A loud male voice called from inside.

Jesse opened the door and entered the shop. A variety of tools lined the walls, and equipment, pieces of wood, and a couple desks filled the floor. A hefty man, around sixty-something years old with salt and pepper hair, stood up from a workbench to greet him.

"What can I do for you, son?" The man asked as he wiped his hands with an already dirty towel. His southern accent was only slightly noticeable in his speech.

"I'm here about the carpentry job," Jesse replied.

"Oh, perfect!" The man's eyes lit up as he extended his hand to introduce himself. "Cooper Quinn."

"Jesse Pinkman," he replied as he shook the man's hand. He tensed up a bit when he realized he had used his real last name – something he hadn't intended on doing due to it being tainted from the Heisenberg investigation. But when the name didn't seem to ring a bell with Cooper Quinn, Jesse relaxed.

"Nice to meet you, son," Cooper stated. "Did you see my ad in the newspaper?"

Jesse nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Oh, good. I wasn't sure if anyone still read the newspaper anymore," Cooper told him with a small laugh. "So tell me about your carpentry experience."

"Well," Jesse replied. "I took woodshop in high school."

Cooper chuckled. "High school? How long ago was that, boy?"

"Eight years ago," Jesse admitted sheepishly.

A hearty laugh escaped Cooper's lips. "You took a woodshop class eight years ago? I'm looking for a skilled carpenter, son. I need someone to run my shop for me. I'm getting too old, and I don't have any sons to pass the business on to." He shook his head. "I appreciate you coming by, but I need someone with a bit more experience."

Jesse nodded, feeling defeated, but not quite ready to give up. He knew Cooper Quinn could not fathom how important this job was to him. Hell, the ad practically crawled out of the newspaper toward him and the flier practically flew off the bulletin board at him. "I understand, Mr. Quinn, but I'm new to town and I need a job – **this** job. I may not know much about carpentry right now, but I've got a knack and passion for woodworking, and I'm willing to learn."

Cooper sighed, feeling bad for the kid after hearing the desperation in his voice, but still unsure about his lack of experience and skill.

"Most jobs require experience, but how can I get experience if no one will hire me without it?" Jesse wondered.

"You got a point, kid."

Jesse stared at the man, wishing he could make him understand how badly he needed the job, how badly he needed a job that he loved, a job that was fulfilling and meaningful, a job that did something **for** people instead of ruining people.

"Alright, son," Cooper sighed again. "You caught me on a soft day. I'm not promising long term work, but I do need some help around here, and I could use you until I find someone more qualified to take over for me."

Relief washed over Jesse. That was good enough for him. "I'll take it. Thank you, Mr. Quinn."

"Ah, jeez, makin' me feel old. Just call me Coop. When can you start?" Cooper wondered.

"Now," Jesse offered with a shrug.

The door to the shop opened behind Jesse.

"Hey you," Coop greeted happily.

"Hey Dad. Just returning your hammer," a female voice spoke behind him.

Jesse turned around and was met with stunning blonde hair and vibrant green eyes. His heart leapt into his throat.

"Jesse, this is my daughter Jolie. Jolie, this is Jesse, my new help down here in the shop," Cooper introduced.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Respectable," the girl from the aquarium tunnel joked as she walked over to the two men.

Unable to produce any words, Jesse just smiled.

"You know this young man?" Cooper asked his daughter.

"We've seen each other around," Jolie responded vaguely, smirking.

"Well, I've just hired him to help me out around here. Is he as good of a worker as he says he is?"

Jolie nodded and smiled. "I'd bet so."

The phone rang loudly throughout the shop.

"Ah, jeez, let me get that. Hang tight, Jesse," Cooper stated as he hurried off to the other side of the shop to grab the ringing phone.

"You stalking me or something, Jesse?" Jolie asked as she smirked again.

Jesse laughed and shook his head slightly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"So what's your story then?" She wondered.

"What do you mean?"

"A grown adult who goes to the aquarium alone, carries a backpack, wearing the same clothes two days later?" She inquired.

"Asks the girl who is also a grown adult, also alone in the aquarium, having an early midlife crisis, laying on the floor of a marine habitat tunnel, ready to be trampled by sixth graders," Jesse retorted.

A smile graced her lips as she replied, "Touché."

"Ready to get started, Jesse?" Cooper asked as he made his way back over.

"Sure am," Jesse replied, not taking his eyes off of Jolie.

"Nice to see you again, Jesse," she stated.

"You too," he responded. "See you around."

Though he knew she was better off without him in her life, he was thrilled to see her again. Even happier to know he would get to see her often. He just had to promise himself that he wouldn't get involved with her, no matter how attracted to her he was.

He did **not** want her to end up like his last few girlfriends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who watched El Camino??? What did you think???

The next day, Jesse arrived at the shop early, to prove to Coop that he was serious about the job. He was renting out a room at the Magnolia Inn a few miles away and had to call a cab to bring him to work, but he was willing to do whatever it took to prove his worth. Coop had shown him around the day before, teaching him how to use all the tools and equipment, showing him where everything was at, and teaching him all the technical terms for everything. Now it was time for the real work to begin.

"Start sanding those boards down there, will ya?" Coop requested as he pointed to a pile of wooden planks on the ground.

"Yes sir," Jesse replied, proud of his politeness - something he had already picked up from the southern hospitality he received from the locals.

"Let me get this damn garage door open before we sweat to death," Coop stated as he walked over to the wall and pressed a white button.

Jesse watched as a garage door on the side of the shop rose up, revealing a view of the houses next to it. He hadn't noticed the huge door before, but he was thankful for it as soon as the breeze hit his face. Being from Albuquerque, he was used to heat and humidity (though Louisiana had much more humidity) but he certainly didn't enjoy sweating all day.

The feeling of smooth wood felt like lace against the pad of Jesse's fingers as he got to work. He was so thankful for the opportunity to feel that again.

"This must be Jesse," a woman's voice appeared in the opening where the garage door used to be.

Jesse turned around to see an older woman, around Coop's age, walking into the shop carrying a tray that was holding a pitcher full of dark brown liquid with two slices of lemon floating on top and two glasses full of ice. She was wearing a frilly white apron, decorated with appropriate food stains.

"Jesse, this is my wife Linda," Coop introduced.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Quinn," Jesse smiled at her.

"Oh, you are such a doll," she cooed as she set the tray down on one of the desks. "But please, call me Linda."

"You bringing us drinks already?" Coop asked her.

"Well, I know it's early, but I don't want you boys getting too overheated out here so I brought you some sweet tea," she explained.

She filled each glass with the dark liquid then handed one to Jesse and one to Coop.

Jesse took a sip. His taste buds jumped as the sweet beverage hit his mouth. It was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. It had just the right amount of sugar and a hint of lemon.

"Wow," Jesse said as he swallowed the sip. "That's good."

"I make it myself." Linda smiled proudly at him.

"Ah, jeez, she's showing off for you, Jesse," Coop teased as he took a sip of his own drink.

"Well, it's the best drink I've ever had," Jesse complimented her.

"Thank you," she responded. "I'll let you boys get back to it. It was nice to meet you, Jesse."

"You too," he replied. "Thank you for the tea."

"Yeah, thanks, Lin," Coop said as he took the pitcher off the tray and poured himself another glass.

"Anytime," she replied as she took the tray and walked back toward the house.

"Linda and I live in that house up there. Lived there for thirty years," Coop told him as he pointed to the first house, the one closest to the shop.

"Who lives in the second house?" Jesse wondered.

"Jolie and my two granddaughters," Coop explained.

Jesse was intrigued to find out that Jolie had daughters. It gave him even more of a reason to avoid getting involved with her. He didn't want anything to happen to her, but especially not her daughters.

"I'm gonna finish up this project over here," Coop said as he walked over to his workbench. "When you're finished sanding those, take the 5/4ths in the corner over there and mill each of them down to an inch thickness, would ya?"

"Sure," Jesse replied obediently.

The shop grew quiet as they continued working. Jesse tuned everything out as he focused on his work. He wasn't worried about his new life. He wasn't even worried about his old life. His work was the only thing in the world he could think about. He was thankful for that temporary escape. It brought back only happy memories, and nothing about it reminded him of the last two years. Not yet, at least.

Around three o'clock that afternoon, the sound of wheels against gravel drew Jesse's attention away from the cabinet he was polishing. He watched as a white 4-Runner wobbled up the gravel road. It parked in front of the second house.

Jolie emerged from the driver's side and walked around to the other side of the car. The back door opened and a young girl, around five or six years old, jumped out. She had longish blonde hair, which was braided down her head, and she wore a pink backpack on her back; both her hair and backpack bounced wildly as she ran up the steps of the house.

"Watch your step!" Jolie called as she emerged from the other side of the car carrying a younger girl, around two or three years old, with short blonde hair in tiny pigtails.

Jolie's blonde hair floated in the breeze as she walked up the steps behind the older girl. His eyes traveled down her body, admiring every curve and womanly feature she had. Something about being a mother made her even more attractive to Jesse. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, yet again.

Coop noticed him watching the girls, but he knew deep down that his new employee was mostly eyeing his daughter.

"My granddaughters," Coop spoke up. "Beautiful little things, huh?"

Jesse's eyes quickly moved at the sound of Coop's voice. He glanced over at him and nodded softly, feeling a little flushed at the thought of being caught staring at his daughter.

"Going through a tough time though, poor things," Coop added, feeling his heart ache at the thought. "We all are."

"Really? Something happen?" Jesse wondered. Curiosity struck him, as the family seemed so happy; it certainly didn't seem like anyone was going through a tough time. Well, except for Jolie's aquarium crisis.

"A few months ago," Coop answered with a nod. "My son and his wife died in a car accident. Left behind those two beautiful little girls out there."

"Oh, God." Jesse was stunned. The family was so cheery and kind; he would've never guessed they were mourning the loss of loved ones.

"My wife and I are too old to take care of them on our own," Coop explained. "So Jolie moved in next door to help. She's been a godsend. She always has been, but she really came through for the girls after the accident."

Jesse's heart raced. He knew she was a pure soul. He could tell the first time he met her. They weren't her daughters like he had suspected, but she was the one raising them now. He admired that.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he offered.

"I appreciate your condolences, kid," Coop responded.

"Was your son supposed to take over your shop?"

"Nah," Coop replied. "He wanted to be a lawyer. I just wanted him to do what made him happy, you know? But a part of me always hoped he'd change his mind and want to take over for me."

Jesse nodded, feeling extreme sympathy for the Quinn family. They had shown him nothing but kindness, even though he was a total stranger. They didn't know him, they didn't owe him anything, but they had already treated him so well. He hated that they were suffering.

"Ah, jeez, I've got a wheelbarrow full of logs down by the lake out there," Coop stated. "Bring it in for me, will ya?"

"Yes sir," he nodded and stood from his bench. He wondered why his boss suddenly needed the logs, but he realized that Coop probably needed a minute alone after talking about his son.

Fresh air filled Jesse's lungs as he inhaled deeply while he walked down to the lake. A small boat was floating in the water, docked to a dilapidated wooden pier that stretched out a few yards into the lake. Nothing but trees could be seen around the other sides of the moderately sized body of water.

The view was gorgeous, but the seclusion and silence was what made it relaxing.

Jesse could feel the oxygen being pumped into his blood and into his brain. It was exactly the type of scenery he needed. He could already tell that he would do nothing but thrive in Louisiana.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was only beginning to rise when the cab dropped Jesse off at the Quinn property a few days later. He began to make his way up the gravel road toward the shop when he saw someone on the porch of the second house. It was Jolie. She was standing on the side of the house facing away from the shop and her parent's house; she was facing away from the road. She held a cigarette between her fingers, and he could just barely make out the swirls of smoke as they floated out of her mouth.

She had the purest soul of anyone he had ever known. Sure, he didn't know her that well, but her virtues just radiated from her body in his eyes, and he was drawn to her because of it. His soul was wretched and ugly. Hers was immaculate. She was exactly the type of person he needed in his life.

"Morning," Jesse called softly as he walked over to her with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

She jumped and whipped her head around quickly, startled by his sudden presence. Her wide eyes relaxed when she realized it was Jesse.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me," she breathed, placing her hand over her heart. "I thought you were my dad."

He chuckled a little. "Sorry, didn't meant to startle you," he offered as he drug his feet up the stairs to her porch.

"It's alright," she exhaled then took another drag of her cigarettes.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket.

"Not at all," she replied.

She couldn't lie to herself – she was fascinated by him. Physically, she found him attractive, with his short buzzed hair and slight facial stubble; she even liked his tall, thin stature and the way he dressed. But it was his personality she found the most alluring. He was always very kind to her, but he was vague and mysterious and dark and even a little broody. He wasn't the type of guy she was typically drawn to, but maybe that's why none of her relationships ever worked out; maybe she was going after the wrong type of guys.

Sure, he didn't have all the superficial qualities that society deemed important for a woman to seek out in a man; he wasn't rich or a businessman, he didn't have his life all mapped out for success, and he didn't drive a fancy car or have huge muscles from working out all the time, but Jesse was **real** and **rare**. He was genuine, and his heart seemed to always be in the right place. And that made him exactly the type of person Jolie wanted to be around – the type of person she **wanted** in her life.

Jesse perched a cigarette between his lips and lit the tip, sending a smoky trail overhead.

"Aren't you old enough to _not_ have to hide cigarettes from your dad?" He wondered with a smirk as he leaned against the white wall of the house.

"You'd think so, but he'd still kill me," she answered. "I never smoked cigarettes before, but god damn, I can't start my day without one now."

"What changed?" He wondered as he took a long drag of his own, understanding the feeling.

"My brother and sister-in-law died a few months ago," she replied, exhaling a whirl of smoke. "It's been rough."

"Your dad told me what happened," Jesse said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," she replied sincerely, appreciating his genuine sympathy. The compassionate words didn't roll off his tongue like he memorized them from a script. It sounded like the words truly came from his heart.

"He told me you've been taking care of their kids," he added.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I went from being a single career woman to being a single mom overnight. Quit my job, dropped out of grad school, moved into their old house, and this is my life now. Hence the midlife crisis. Hence the cigarettes."

"Ah," Jesse chuckled. "I get it now."

She smiled at him, making his heart race.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, indulging in the hazardous cigarettes and watching the sunrise as it turned the sky into a swirly mixture of clouds and reds and yellows and oranges.

"Any second now..." Jolie sighed as she flicked the cigarette butt into the yard. She pulled a piece of gum from her pocket and popped it into her mouth.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"The sun is their alarm clock," she replied.

"Huh?" He wondered, still confused

Before she could respond, a commotion came from the front door. The patter and shuffle of little feet came rushing in their direction. Jesse turned around just in time to see two little girls barreling past him.

"ESKIMO KISSES!" A little girl shouted as she rounded the corner, running straight to Jolie. It was the same little girl he saw yesterday who was running with the backpack. Her smile was as wide and as bright as the sun.

A younger girl, the one Jolie had been carrying yesterday, followed right behind her, less enthusiastically but still trying to keep up.

"Eskimo kisses for my girls!" Jolie called as she bent down with her arms outstretched. The two girls ran into her arms, laughing wildly. She hugged them and kissed them repeatedly then rubbed her nose sweetly against the oldest one's nose then against the youngest one's nose.

Jesse watched the adorable scene unfold in front of him, unable to contain the smile that spread across his face. He flicked his cigarette into the yard, not wanting the smoke to cloud around the young girls.

When their little morning ritual was complete, Jolie stood to her feet and the girls looked curiously over at Jesse.

"Girls, this is my friend Jesse," Jolie introduced. "Jesse, this is Lia, she's six years old," she said as she gestured to the older girl.

"Hi Lia," he greeted with a smile and a soft wave.

"Hi," the little girl peeped shyly, leaning into Jolie's leg.

"And this is Lucy, she just turned three." Jolie gestured to the younger one.

"Hi Lucy," he greeted sweetly.

She simply stared up at him.

A little confused by her lack of response, he looked up at Jolie.

"Alright, girls, go get changed for breakfast. I'll be inside in just a minute," Jolie instructed as she moved the girls toward the door.

"Okay!" Lia shouted then she took off. Lucy followed right behind her.

When the girls were in the house and out of sight, Jolie turned to Jesse as they walked to the front of the porch.

"Sorry about that," she sighed. "Lucy hasn't spoken since the accident."

"At all?" He wondered.

"Not a single word. She rarely even smiles."

"Oh, god," he breathed. "Don't tell me they were in the car when the accident happened."

She nodded. "They were. Lia has nightmares nearly every night. She wakes up screaming and sweating." The rims of her eyes lined with slight tears as she spoke about the trauma. "It's been tough for them."

Jesse's mouth fell into a frown. "That breaks my heart."

Jolie appreciated and adored the compassion he had for her family.

The light in the shop came on, signaling that Coop was there and ready to get to work. But Jesse wanted to stay. He wanted to stay and hug the beautiful blonde in front of him and hug the little girls and take away their pain. It was difficult for him to accept that such an amazing family was suffering from such a traumatic pain, just like he was. Except he was deserving of the pain; the Quinns weren't.

"I guess I better get to work," he said.

"Guess so," Jolie replied with a smile. "See you around, Mr. Respectable."

Jesse smiled and made his way down the stairs, but when he reached the second to last step, he stopped and turned around.

"Hey," he began.

Jolie, who had already turned her back to go inside, paused and glanced over her shoulder at him

"For what it's worth, I think what you're doing for them is really great. And I can tell you're doing a great job with them too," he told her kindheartedly.

Her legs nearly melted into the floor. Other than her parents, no one had said anything like that to her before. And though he didn't know it, she constantly questioned her ability to be not one, but two parents to Lia and Lucy, so his words meant the world to her.

"Thank you," she replied softly, worrying that her tears might fall at any moment. "That means a lot to me, Jesse."

He smiled at her then continued making his way down the steps. The fact that he was able to start his day with Jolie put him in a great mood. It had been a long time since he was that happy that early in the morning.

And little did he know, she felt the exact same way.

~

That night, the Quinn family sat down for dinner together. Cooper sat at one head of the table, scooping mashed potatoes onto his plate, while Linda sat across from him at the other end salting her corn on the cob. Jolie sat beside Lucy on one side of the table as she cut up pieces of rotisserie chicken for her young niece, and Lia sat across from them next to an empty chair, moving her green beans away from the rest of the food on her plate.

"You better eat those green beans if you want dessert," Jolie warned her older niece, noticing she was making a grotesque face at the green vegetable.

Lia's face fell in disappointment. "Fine."

"Did you and Jesse get a lot done today?" Linda asked her husband as she poured herself a glass of tea.

"Oh yeah," Coop answered. "We finished three projects way ahead of schedule."

"That's great," she replied. "He's a sweet kid."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I wasn't too sure about him at first, but he's a hard worker and a quick learner. I'm glad I hired him."

Though she was trying to act like she was more focused on cutting Lucy's chicken than the conversation her parents were having, Jolie couldn't help but smile softly at the kind words they were saying about Jesse, especially after their encounter that morning.

"How was school today, Lia?" Jolie asked.

"It was great," her niece answered excitedly. "I painted a picture of a tree in art, and I signed up for the spelling bee!"

"Wow!" Linda reacted happily for her granddaughter.

"Did you bring home the picture of that tree so we can put it on our fridge?" Jolie asked.

"Yep," Lia answered proudly. "It's in my backpack."

"When's the spelling bee?" Jolie wondered. "Did they give you a list of words to practice?"

"Yep," Lia repeated. "I don't know when it is, but my teacher gave me a paper to give to you. It has practice words on it too."

"Great, we'll have to start practicing then," Jolie replied.

"How was preschool today, Luce?" Linda questioned as she looked at her silent granddaughter.

Lucy simply stared at her.

"Did you color anything today?" Linda asked despite a lack of response. She raised her eyebrows eagerly, desperately wanting to hear her granddaughter's voice again. "Tell us about your day."

Lucy continued staring blankly at her.

"Mom," Jolie said quietly. "Dr. Martin said it's best to not pressure her to talk by asking a bunch of questions. She'll speak when she has something she wants to say."

Since the accident, Jolie had been taking the girls to see a child psychologist in Baton Rouge who specializes in overcoming traumatic situations. Lia seemed to be benefitting from the therapy greatly, but Lucy was not making much progress. The psychologist insisted that she would speak again when she was ready, and that it was best not to pressure her or trick her into talking, but everyone just wanted to hear her sweet voice again.

It was just one more beautiful thing the family had lost in the horrific accident – Lucy's little happy voice.


	7. Chapter 7

"Finish up that piece and let's call it a day," Coop announced as he stood from his workbench. "It's gettin' late."

Jesse nodded as his hands delicately moved across the plank at his desk, sanding the sides smoothly. On occasion, he would blow the wooden dust away and run his bare fingers over the piece to judge the smoothness. He was focused and intent on getting the plank as smooth as possible.

"You're doing good work, son," Coop complimented while he watched Jesse work intensely.

Jesse glanced up at him. "Thanks."

"I'm glad you convinced me to take a chance on you," he insisted.

"Well I'm glad you took a chance on me," Jesse replied.

With a subtle nod, Coop began cleaning up his workstation. Jesse followed suit, sweeping up the floor and putting all of the tools back where they belonged, thankful that his workday seemed to fly by instead of drag on. He was never bored or antsy or restless. He was always focused and busy, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

"Ah, jeez, come wash up in the house before you go," Coop insisted, noticing the dirt and oil on Jesse's hands. "Get all that crap off your hands."

He nodded and followed Coop out the open garage door to their house. The sun was beginning to set, casting a beautiful pink and purple glow onto the lake next to them. Inside the house, Linda was standing over the stove cooking dinner, which smelled incredible. Steam rose from the pot in front of her as she sprinkled different spices into it. Lia and Lucy sat across from each other at the table coloring.

"Lin, you got that soap that gets the oil off your hands?" Coop asked as he walked into the house.

"I need to get it from the medicine cabinet," she answered as she turned around and noticed her husband wasn't alone. "Oh hi Jesse, how are you, sweetie?"

"I'm alright; how are you?"

"Doing great, hon. Need to clean up?" She wondered.

"Yes ma'am," he answered.

"Let me go get that soap then," she insisted as she turned a knob on the stove then went into the other room.

"Jesse, these are my granddaughters, Lucy and Lia," Coop introduced as he sat at the table next to them.

"Yeah, I met these pretty ladies a few mornings ago when I was walking to the shop," Jesse explained as he leaned back against the sink. "Hi girls."

Lucy, in her usual manner, stared at him. But Lia smiled as her cheeks blushed. "Hey Jesse."

"What are you two working on?" Jesse asked.

Jolie walked into the hallway near the kitchen with a basket of laundry to wash. She stopped to drop off the basket at the washing machine, which was a few feet away from the kitchen. She could see Coop siting at the table with the girls while they colored. Jesse was out of her sight, but she recognized the sound of his deep voice and knew he was in the room with them too.

"I'm doing my art homework," Lia answered. "Lucy is coloring, but she pretends like it's her art homework too."

"Can I see what you're drawing?" He asked.

Lia nodded and dropped her crayon then held up her drawing, leaning across the table so Jesse could see. It was a drawing of two houses and a bunch of stick people. Though his back was to her, Jolie could see him as he leaned forward to get a good look at Lia's paper.

"Wow, you are quite the artist," Jesse complimented with a smile. "Who are all those people?"

Jolie leaned against the doorframe, watching the adorable scene unfold in front of her. She crossed her arms over her chest, unable to hide her smile.

"It's my family portrait. That's me, and that's Lucy, and that's Grandma Lin, and Grandpa Coop, and that's Aunt Jo," Lia pointed as she explained who everyone in her drawing was. "And that's my mom and dad in the sky. They're in heaven."

Jesse's smile faltered as he looked into the little girl's eyes. His smile went from enthusiastic to compassionate but he tried not to show his anguish. Jolie and Coop made eye contact, giving each other a knowing glance of heartbreak.

"It's a great drawing, Lia," Jesse praised. "I love it."

"Thank you," Lia replied politely.

Jesse glanced down at Lucy, who was slowly pushing her paper toward him. Jolie smiled at the interaction that her younger niece was initiating.

"Wow, Lucy," Jesse commended excitedly as he looked at her paper. "That is beautiful. I love your drawing too!"

Though she made it clear she wanted him to see her drawing, she didn't reply or react to his words.

"Can you tell him 'thank you,' Luce?" Jolie asked as she finally spoke up.

Catching him off guard, Jesse glanced behind him to see the beautiful blonde leaning against the doorframe. Her green eyes pierced his gray blue ones as he smiled at her.

Lucy looked at her aunt but remained silent.

"It's okay," Jesse said as he turned back to Lucy. "Sometimes I don't like to talk either."

The girl glanced back up at him, and he smiled at her sweetly, wanting her to know that it was truly okay that she didn't thank him or even speak. Jolie could've sworn a very faint smile almost graced her niece's lips. It made her want to marry Jesse right then and there. She adored the way he treated Lucy. He spoke to her and interacted with her, but he didn't try to get her to talk like everyone else did. Hell, he even reassured her that it was okay that she didn't want to talk.

"I finally found the son of a gun!" Linda announced as she hurried back into the kitchen with the oil soap, completely unaware of the sweet interaction she missed. "It's usually in the medicine cabinet, but _someone_ put it in the cabinet under the sink!"

She eyed Coop in an accusatory manner as she handed the bottle to Jesse.

"Thank you," he said as he turned to the sink and began washing his hands.

~

Early the next morning, about an hour before the sun was due to rise, Jolie stealthily stepped out onto her porch, hiding a cigarette and lighter in her hand. Just as she went to light the stick, someone down by the lake caught her attention.

She narrowed her eyes at the shadow, watching it intensely. Judging by the buzzed hair and movements, she could tell it was Jesse.

She watched him often, especially while he was working. She would sit on her porch and watch him through the open garage door to the shop. She could admit to herself that it was a creepy thing to do, but she admired how much concentration he had on the piece he was making. And she never worried about him looking up and catching her staring, because he was always so focused on his work.

Down by the lake, Jesse took a long drag of his cigarette, surrounded by a cloud of smoke. He found himself getting to work earlier and earlier every day, just to have a few moments in the quiet and darkness by the lake. It was a very peaceful start to his day; he was so thankful for that.

He was thankful for so much since he had moved to Louisiana. So many great things had happened, and so many great people had surrounded him. He loved it there, but he wondered how long he would stay. He felt like eventually he would have to move on, continue to Miami or end up elsewhere; Louisiana didn't really feel permanent yet.

"Mind if I join you?"

Jesse whipped his head around to see Jolie standing over him, wearing a thin long sleeved t-shirt and soft shorts. She was so beautiful in the morning, even with sleepy eyes and no makeup. In fact, he thought she was even more beautiful like that. She seemed more pure and more real than ever before.

"Not at all," he said, as she had done when he joined her for a cigarette the first time. "I'm feeling a bit like Lucy this morning though."

"That's okay," she replied with a soft smile, understanding and heeding his warning of not wanting to talk.

She sat down close to him, feeling his arm against hers, feeling the warmth from his body. The aroma from his alluring cologne relaxed her; he smelled incredible. She lit her cigarette, watching as he smoked his. She loved how intense his stare got when he was deep in thought. His grey blue eyes had seen so much; she could tell. He was so vague and mysterious and deep, yet kind and compassionate and friendly; she was so intrigued by him.

Jesse's eyes scanned Jolie's lower half next to him, admiring her long, smooth legs and cute toes. Her toenails were painted a soft blue – he had such a love/hate relationship with that color. He glanced up at her, watching as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ears. He loved the way she did that. He even loved the way her ear poked through her hair when she did it.

They didn't speak a word to each other the rest of their morning together, but they were comfortable just enjoying each other's company. In a world where they both felt so alone, they were starting to realize they had each other. And it was nice.

Jesse sighed deeply, returning back to his thoughts about remaining in Louisiana. Feeling the way he felt with Jolie's presence next to him, there was no doubt in his mind – he was staying. Forever.

Later that morning, Jesse was outside the shop, unloading some large pieces of wood from the bed of Coop's truck when he heard Jolie's front door open.

He glanced up to see Lia bopping down the front of the stairs with her pink backpack hung on her back. As usual, it flopped up and down as she bounced along. Jolie followed close behind her, carrying Lucy who was laying her head on her aunt's shoulder, still half asleep.

"Hey Jesse!" Lia called when she noticed him by the shop. She waved at him cutely as she continued walking to the car.

Lucy's head popped up from her aunt's shoulder, glancing over to see Jesse. Jolie looked over at him, smiling her stunning smile when they made eye contact.

Jesse smiled as he waved back at the girls, feeling overwhelmed with his adoration for them. "Have a good day at school!"

"Okay!" Lia called as she climbed into her aunt's 4-Runner.

He watched as Jolie loaded the girls into the car, loving her natural maternal instincts. Before she climbed into the driver's seat, she turned around and lifted her hand to him, giving him a soft wave.

He was so proud to know someone like her.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a little over three weeks since Jesse started working for Cooper Quinn, and he was enjoying every minute of it. He helped Coop make custom cabinets, bookshelves, chests, and even a headboard for a bed. He was amazed at all the beautiful things they created together. He couldn't engrave the pieces with the intricate woodworking details like his boss could, but he enjoyed being able to sand, saw, and oil all the pieces. Plus it helped Coop tremendously by saving him a lot of time and work.

Jesse would prep and prepare all of the items, and Coop would put it all together and finish it off.

It was eerily similar to how Jesse and Heisenberg would work together.

It was just another beautiful thing that reminded him of his ugly past.

"You boys want turkey sandwiches for lunch?" Linda asked as she walked into the shop through the open garage door, donning the same stained apron she always wore. "I've got a ton of leftover turkey from dinner last night."

"Fine with me," Coop answered from his desk where he was staining cypress cabinets.

"What about you, hon?" She asked Jesse as she turned to him. "Turkey sandwich okay with you?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that; I'm okay," he replied, looking up from the pegs he was inserting into a chest. "Thank you though."

"Nonsense," Linda brushed him off. "Do you eat turkey?"

"Yes ma'am," he answered honestly.

"Then I'm making you a turkey sandwich," she insisted.

Jesse smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome," she responded. "Y'all come inside in about fifteen minutes. I'll have everything ready."

"Thanks, Lin," Coop called as his wife exited the shop. He looked over his shoulder at Jesse. "I can tell you're not used to people taking care of you, kid, but that's what Lin does - she takes care of people. She wants to do things like make you a turkey sandwich."

Jesse nodded, understanding. "I just don't want to put anyone out or bum off of anyone."

"If that were the case, she wouldn't offer," his boss reassured.

Although Jesse appreciated the gesture, Coop was right about him not being used to being taken care of. It had been 'Jesse against the world' for as long as he could remember. Well, that wasn't necessarily true. He could remember a time - when he was very young - when his family felt close-knit and supportive of one another, but it had been so long ago that it was just a distant memory now. He had burned so many bridges with his family over the years; he didn't look to them for support at all anymore.

But it was nice to have the Quinns as a somewhat surrogate family.

"So, Jesse," Linda asked a few minutes later, as she sat a plate down in front of him, then one in front of Coop, then she sat down with her own plate. "Where are you from?"

He looked at the turkey sandwich on the plate in front of him. He didn't want to lie, not to the incredibly generous woman, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell the truth.

"New Mexico," he replied, hoping that his answer was specific enough yet vague enough.

"I could tell you were a southern boy," she said with a smirk as picked up her sandwich to eat. "So polite. What brought you to Louisiana?"

Jesse's heart began to race in his chest. Again, he didn't want to lie, but he certainly could not tell the truth.

"I, um... I lost my job," he sighed, unsure of where he was going with his answer. "My boss... passed away and the company, uh, went under... I lost my car and I had to sell my house... Kinda had my life flipped upside down, you know?"

"Oh, absolutely; we know how that is," she sympathized, understanding what he meant.

"I just felt like it was time for a change," he continued as he took a bite of his sandwich. "I was planning on moving to Florida actually, but I stopped in New Orleans along the way and was just drawn to it."

"It's a magical place, isn't it?" Linda replied.

"It is," he agreed, silently commending himself for fabricating such a smooth, yet honest, answer about his past.

"So where are you staying, hon?" Linda asked.

"Ah, jeez, why're you interrogating the poor boy, Lin?" Coop wondered.

"Oh, hush! I'm just making small talk!" She defended. "I know you don't sit out there chit-chatting with the boy, but I would like to know more about him!"

Jesse chuckled. "It's okay, I don't mind. I'm staying at the Magnolia Inn."

Linda's eyes grew wide. Even Coop glanced up in disbelief.

"What?" Jesse wondered with a slight smile.

"You're staying at the Magnolia Inn?" Linda questioned. "Why didn't you say so, honey? We've got an empty guest room above the garage! You'd have your own bathroom, your own door to come and go as you please, and tons of privacy - you'd be the only one on that side of the house. "

"Oh, no, that's really nice of you, but I couldn't do that. I'm fine where I am, and I couldn't put you guys out like that," Jesse respectfully declined. "You've already gone out of your way to give me a job that I didn't deserve and feed me lunch and bring me drinks."

"You wouldn't be putting us out!" Linda insisted. "It's not debatable, hon. Coop, I should smack you for letting that boy stay in the Inn!"

"Ah, jeez, I didn't know he was staying there!" Coop defended, throwing his hands up in the air in a defeated manner.

Jesse chuckled at their constant husband-wife banter.

"I'm serious, sweetheart," Linda turned back to him. "It's not debatable. When you're done here, you go grab your things and come back. I'll have a hot supper ready and the room will be all set up." She stood up from the table. "In fact, I'm going to go put a set of fresh sheets on the bed now."

"You really don't have to do all that," Jesse sighed, feeling overwhelmed with gratitude, but unsure how to process her extreme kindness. It was very foreign and new to him, and though he appreciated it, he didn't like someone making such a big fuss over him.

"Hush," she instructed. "I want to do this and you deserve a better place to lay your head at night."

His mouth curved up into a smile, realizing she would not let him refuse. "Thank you."

She smiled back at him with a nod then left the room.

"She really doesn't have to do that, Coop," Jesse insisted. "I'm okay at the Inn."

"Oh, just let her do this for ya, kid," Coop replied. "I told you earlier - she loves taking care of people. It's just what she does. It makes her feel needed. Plus it sounds like you could stand to be taken care of for once."

Jesse shrugged.

"Look, son, if you aren't comfortable staying here, that's one thing, but don't feel like you'd be imposing on us. We both think the world of you, and I know I'd appreciate the extra company just as much as Linda would," Coop said honestly.

He looked over at his boss silently, but his eyes said it all. Coop could see the gratitude written all over his face. One of the things he loved the most about his wife was her need to take care of others. She was the most loving and giving person he had ever met, and he was glad she was doing such a nice thing for such a nice kid. After seeing the expression on Jesse's face and seeing how much his wife's compassion affected the kid, he fell in love with her all over again.

Staying with the Quinns would save Jesse a lot of time and money, but he still wasn't sure how he felt about letting someone else take care of him. He had always taken care of himself.

But he was at a point in his life where he wondered if maybe it would be nice to have someone else look out for him for once.

Later that night, when he arrived back at the Quinn house, Linda immediately took him up to the bedroom that was perched above the garage at the back of their house. The walls were painted a very subtle yellow. A queen bed took up most of the room, fitted with light blue sheets and a soft white quilt. An outdated tube TV sat on top of a wooden chest of drawers in front of the bed, and a window air conditioning unit was fitted in the window next to the bed. It was small, but it was perfect for him.

He stood in the doorway, clutching the strap of his backpack, watching as she showed him around.

"Okay, hon, the bathroom is over there," Linda explained, pointing to a shut door. "I put about five or six towels in the cabinet next to the sink. I didn't know what type of soap or shampoo you used, so I bought a few different brands. I emptied the drawers under the TV if you want to put your clothes in there, but I also put a few hangers in the closet in case you wanted to hang anything up. If you need more hangers, just let me know, I've got plenty."

Jesse felt a lump rise up in his throat at the fact that she had gone out of her way to get him set up and comfortable in the guest room.

"Let's see... you've got extra blankets and pillows above the closet shelf up there," she continued as she pointed to the top of the closet. "And sometimes this room gets a little warm, even when the cool air is on, so we got you a window unit in case it gets too hot."

He tried to keep it together, but the rims of his eyes reddened as they lined with subtle tears. He couldn't remember his own mother ever treating him that well, even when he was on good terms with his family.

"You didn't have to do all of this, Linda," Jesse said softly, making sure not to blink so the tears wouldn't fall. "Just the room alone was plenty enough."

When she noticed he was on the verge of tears, her face softened. "We want to do this for you."

"Thank you," he responded earnestly. "Thank you for making me feel like I'm a part of your family." He wanted to give a full-blown speech at how much he appreciated what she did for him and how much it meant to him, but he knew he would break down and sob if he tried to utter any more words.

"Oh, honey," she sighed, placing her hand on his arm lovingly. "You are part of the family now." She smiled at him, able to see the gratitude in his eyes. "I'll let you get situated. Dinner will be ready in about an hour."

He nodded, still unable to speak. When he heard the door shut behind him, he blinked a few times, allowing the tears that had built up to fall. He sniffled and quickly wiped away the trail left on his cheeks and walked over to the bed where he dropped his backpack.

He didn't deserve their kindness.

He felt so unworthy of being treated so well. If Linda and Coop knew what kind of life he had lived, they would be so disgusted and ashamed. Coop would've never hired him or let him into his home.

He felt like he was fooling them.


	9. Chapter 9

When Jesse entered Coop and Linda's kitchen on Saturday morning, he was overwhelmed with the smell of bacon, sound of laughter, and feeling of family. Coop sat in his usual spot at the head of the table, reading the newspaper, while Linda pulled a pan of something hot from the oven. Jolie was pouring juice for Lucy and Lia, who sat across from each other in their usual spots.

The Quinn family had breakfast together on the weekends since it was the only time Coop and Jesse weren't out in the shop early and the girls weren't rushing off to school. But this was the first time Jesse was experiencing a full family breakfast.

Jolie was the first one to notice him when he walked in. She smiled at him sweetly as she always did, considering she couldn't help but smile any time she was near him. Especially when he donned adorably sleepy eyes.

"Good morning, Jesse!" Lia called. He loved how she always greeted him so happily.

Lucy whipped her head around to look at him, which he considered her way of greeting him.

"Morning, son," Coop said as he glanced over the top of his newspaper.

"Morning, everyone," Jesse replied with a smile.

"Oh, you're just in time!" Linda called as she placed a plate full of food onto the table. "Have a seat next to Lia, hon."

"Do you need help with anything?" He wondered, not feeling comfortable with letting them wait on him after all they've done for him already.

"We've got it, dear, just have a seat and relax," Linda assured him.

He did as she said, sitting next to Lia as Jolie poured orange juice into the glass in front of him.

"Thanks," he said to her.

She smiled again and continued pouring juice into everyone's glasses. Linda continued shuffling around in the kitchen, placing a plate full of eggs, a plate full of biscuits, and a plate full of bacon in the middle of the table for everyone to fix their own plates from.

Once everything was set up and laid out, Linda took her seat at the head of the table opposite from Coop, and Jolie sat next to Lucy, opposite of Jesse.

"Look, our table is complete now!" Lia exclaimed happily, looking at the full chairs. It was the chair next to hers that was usually empty. It was now occupied by Jesse.

"It is," Jolie agreed, smiling at her.

"Lia, honey, do you want to say grace for us?" Linda asked.

Lia nodded enthusiastically.

"Great, let's bow our heads," Linda instructed.

Jesse watched as everyone shut their eyes and bowed their heads, clasping their hands together. His family wasn't religious, they never went to church or said grace or even talked about God or religion, so the gesture caught him a little off guard. But he lowered his head and clutched his hands together, respecting their family tradition.

"Thank you, God, for this yummy breakfast made by my Grandma Lin," Lia started in her cutesy voice. "Thank you for our family and friends and our health."

Jolie smirked to herself, adoring how her niece was imitating the prayers that she heard the adults say before.

"Bless the food that we're about to eat," Lia continued. "And bless Grandma Lin, and bless Grandpa Coop, and bless Lucy, and bless Aunt Jo... And bless Jesse."

Jesse's eyes opened and he glanced over at Lia, who was continuing to recite her grace with her head down, her eyes shut, and her hands together. He could've cried - no, sobbed - at the little girl's genuine blessing. Even the young Quinn made him feel like part of the family. To Jesse, nothing's more sincere than the kindness of a child. He knew her words came straight from her heart.

No one had ever made him feel so loved and cared for before.

Jolie glanced up at Jesse slightly and noticed the affected look on his face. She could tell Lia's sweet, innocent blessing had made an impression on him. He looked so overcome with emotion.

As Lia's prayer came to an end, Jesse closed his eyes and bowed his head again, mostly trying to avoid tearing up.

"Amen," Lia said, ending her prayer.

Everyone lifted their heads and made the sign of the cross. Jesse followed suit, copying their habitual movements.

"That was beautiful, Lia," Jolie complimented.

"Thank you," the little girl replied.

Jesse remained speechless as everyone began eating. How had he lived his entire life without experiencing this kind of love and treatment? How did he almost pass up living this life?

~

A loud fit of laughter came from the living room as Jolie and Linda cleaned up and washed dishes after breakfast. With a dish in one hand and a towel in the other, Jolie glanced around the corner to spy on whatever was going on in the living room.

She saw Jesse sitting on the couch next to Lucy. Lia was standing up in front of them, giggling.

"That's an easy word!" Lia teased with her hands on her hips, having the sass of a teenager much too early for Jolie's liking.

"So spell it then!" Jesse encouraged.

Jolie watched slyly from the side of the room as she dried off the dish in her hand.

"Cat. C-A-T. Cat," Lia recited in true spelling bee fashion.

Jesse leaned forward quickly, reaching out and tickling Lia's ribs. "Nice job!"

She giggled wildly. "That one was easy. Give me a big word!"

"Alright," Jesse agreed as he sat back. He looked down at Lucy, almost as if he were looking to her for help. "I don't know any big words to give her."

Lucy stared back at him.

"Hmm," he murmured as he looked at Lucy then back at Lia. "How about...sister?"

"Okay," Lia agreed, placing her hands back on her hips. "Sister. S-I-S-T-E-R. Sister."

Jesse's eyes grew wide in an overly shocked manner.

"What?" Lia wondered with a chuckle.

"You're the smartest woman alive!" Jesse replied as he jumped up quickly, pulling Lia into his arms, tickling her again.

The little girl burst into a fit of laughter again. He let go of Lia, who was catching her breath from laughing so hard, and turned to Lucy.

"Your turn?" He asked as he slowly reached forward, scrunching his fingers repeatedly in an attempt to pretend to tickle her.

A small, hesitant smile spread across Lucy's lips.

"Yo, is that a smile?" Jesse wondered with a happy face. "Well now I gotta tickle you!" He scrunched his fingers gently along her sides, not wanting to make the emotionally unstable child feel too pressured to laugh or talk.

Lucy's smile grew wider, which caused Jolie's heart to grow bigger. Whether he was trying to or not, Jesse was winning her over. Big time.

"Well isn't that the most adorable thing you've ever seen?" Linda wondered.

Jolie looked over her shoulder to see her mother watching the events in the living room as well.

"She's smiling at him," Jolie pointed out, still surprised at the fact.

"I know. He's great with the girls," Linda commented before she went back to the sink to finish cleaning the dishes.

As Jolie joined her to finish drying the dishes, she knew her mother was right. It was such a beautiful thing to watch blossom. It was now the most important requirement for her future relationships. Sure, she knew she had to date guys who treated her well and respected her and loved her for who she was, yadda yadda, but the most important factor was how well he treated and respected and loved Lia and Lucy. They were number one now. And Jesse had already surpassed that requirement with flying colors.

"Lia, did you pick up the Legos you were playing with earlier?" Jolie wondered when she walked back into the living room.

Lia was still reciting her spelling bee words in front of Jesse and Lucy.

"Um, no ma'am," Lia replied, making a point to work on her manners.

"Well go on upstairs and pick them up before someone steps or trips on them," Jolie instructed.

The little girl frowned. "But Aunt Jooo."

"Lia," Jolie said sternly.

"But we're practicing my spelling words!"

"Hey," Jesse interjected softly as he leaned forward to the little girl. "Listen to what your Aunt Jo says, okay? We'll finish your spelling words when you get done."

Lia pouted but sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you," Jolie called after her as the little girl plodded upstairs. She turned to Jesse and said, "You're good."

He smirked at her sweetly as he settled back against the couch.

Jolie walked back into the kitchen and to the hallway where she retrieved a batch of clothes from the dryer. She tossed them into the laundry basket and walked back toward the living room but paused when she heard Jesse's soft voice.

"My favorite ninja turtle is Raphael. He wears the red mask. That's my favorite color."

Jolie peeked around the corner again to see Jesse leaning toward Lucy, talking to her with his arm draped across the back of the couch behind her while they watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the TV. It was Lucy's favorite show.

"This must be a new episode," Jesse said to Lucy, continuing to talk to her despite the fact that she wasn't responding. "I don't think I've seen this one before."

"What are you spying on now?" Linda wondered as she walked up behind Jolie.

"Shh," Jolie whispered as she nodded toward the two on the couch.

"I used to watch this show a lot when I was younger," he told Lucy. "It was my favorite show. I dressed up like Raphael for Halloween like four years in a row."

The little girl glanced up at him for a moment then back at the TV.

"What a sweet boy," Linda said quietly, adoring the way he treated her granddaughters.

Jolie nodded in agreement. She could tell her mother loved Jesse and appreciated him just as much as she did. She knew she would approve of the way her daughter felt about him, but she wondered if her father would.

~

The stars were shining brightly around the moon as Jolie sat on the steps of her parents' porch. Steam rose from the yellow mug that rested in her hand. The girls had fallen asleep in "their" room in Coop and Linda's house about an hour ago, which gave Jolie much-needed time alone.

The girls brought so much joy into her life - they always had - but she was still adjusting to parenthood. Sometimes it overwhelmed her, and by the end of the day, all she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts. But sometimes her thoughts were what overwhelmed her.

Would she be a good mom? Would she be a good mom and a good dad? Or would the girls be better off adopted by an actual family - by two real parents? What would her brother and sister-in-law want? In their will, they had specified next of kin to take over their roles as parents if anything happened to them, but would they have specifically picked Jolie?

In six months, if all goes as planned, Jolie will be able to officially adopt the girls. She wanted to, and she figured they were better off with their real family, but sometimes she couldn't help but wonder.

A noise from the shop disrupted her thoughts and drew her attention. She looked over to find Jesse sawing a large piece of wood. His jeans hung loosely on his hips, and he wore a white t-shirt, damp from sweat, on his torso.

Something about seeing a man looking rough and doing manual labor made Jolie's heart race. The way his forehead glistened from sweat. The way his muscles tightened as he pushed the saw back and forth against the piece. The way he grunted at the force it took. It turned her on immensely.

A tingling sensation trickled downward from the pit of Jolie's stomach. Lower and lower and...

"The boy never stops."

Jolie whipped her head around quickly to see her dad walking out onto the porch behind her.

"I know," Jolie agreed.

"He's a hard worker, that's for sure," her father continued. "He's a good kid."

"He is," she agreed again.

Coop eyed his daughter as she stared at Jesse. He knew her well enough to know what that stare meant. But he wasn't sure if he opposed or approved of it. He knew that good and bad things are possible with any relationship, and that bad things just sometimes happen, but he wasn't sure if the risk was worth the reward in their case.


	10. Chapter 10

_The sound of a gun being fired rang loudly in Jesse's ears. Though the bullet shot through a silencer, the noise was deafening. He glanced up from the bottom of his hole in the ground, in just enough time to watch as Andrea's limp body fell from the top. The smoke swirled around Todd, who smiled proudly as he held the gun._

_The thud of Andrea's body hitting the ground made Jesse feel nauseous. He shut his eyes, unable to look at the dead girl. He somehow knew that Mr. White would be there soon to rescue him and kill the men holding him hostage, but _ ** _WHY_ ** _ DIDN'T HE GET THERE SOONER? If he had arrived just a few minutes earlier, they could've saved Andrea._

_A throaty sob escaped Jesse's lips as he finally looked at her lifeless body. Blood was seeping from her head, puddled into the ground, mixing with the dirt where he was forced to sleep every night. He screamed in pain. It was physically painful for him to see her like that. She was like that because of him. He may not have pulled the trigger, but he was the reason she died. In his mind, he was essentially the one who killed her._

_"It's all my fault," Jesse cried as his legs collapsed beneath him. He fell to his knees, clutching his chest. He couldn't catch his breath from his heavy sobs._

_Another gunshot rang out. Much louder than the first. It sounded familiar, but why?_

_Jesse looked up again. His whole body was trembling. He couldn't stop crying. Another lifeless body was falling._

_The body hit the ground silently. Jesse winced as a cloud of smoke rose from below him. He glanced down at his hands. He was holding a gun. His finger was on the trigger._

_He looked at the body again, realizing he had pulled the trigger. He had killed the person lying motionless in front of him. He quickly realized...that person was Gale._

Jesse's eyes shot open, his heart pounded in his chest. Panic overcame him and he frantically sat up in bed. For a brief moment, he had no idea where he was. It was dark and hot; he was sweating profusely. He felt frightened and worried and overwhelmed. He tugged his t-shirt over his head, looking for relief from the heat as his eyes darted around the room.

He quickly realized he was in the Quinn guest room over the garage – his new room. But he was a murderer. He was a murderer, whether he was holding the gun or the cause of someone else dying. How could he stay in the Quinn's guest room when he was a murderer? They thought the world of him; how could he let them think so highly of him?

His chest quickly rose and fell as he heaved heavily. The walls seemed to move inward, closing in on him. He couldn't breathe. No air was getting into his lungs, but all of it was getting out.

He kicked the covers off of his body and rose to his feet. He darted for the door and hurried down the steps into the garage. He quickly pushed open the side door to the garage and was finally hit with fresh air.

He hunched over with his palms on his knees for support as relief washed over him almost instantly despite the fact that the September air was warm and humid, even at night. He felt his lungs refill with oxygen and his body temperature lowering back to normal.

He sighed deeply, frustrated with how he was feeling. It was the first time that he felt that level of anxiety since he had moved to Louisiana. It was the first time since he moved that he wished he had a joint to calm him down or even a teenth of meth to bring him to another world.

His head pounded from the sudden onslaught of anguish from his past.

"Are you okay?"

His head whipped up to see Jolie's beautiful face all wretched with worry as she stood on her porch. Ashes began to lengthen on the top of her lit cigarette as it perched between her fingers.

Jesse nodded, still breathing heavily and unable to produce words.

"Are you sure? You don't look okay," she insisted as she walked down the steps of the porch.

He nodded again, finally regaining his composure and standing upright.

"You want a cigarette?" She offered, walking over to him.

He nodded once more and accepted the cigarette she held out for him. He put it between his lips. She held her lit lighter up to the tip, watching as he held his hand over it to block the wind from blowing it out. He puffed on it a few times while it burned and sighed with relief when the nicotine flooded his veins.

"Thanks, Jo," he muttered softly in a tired voice as she put the lighter back into her pack of cigarettes.

She nodded, unable to take her eyes off of him. He was shirtless, wearing only pajama pants, and though she was concerned about his current condition, she couldn't help but admire his body. God, he was sexy.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, beginning to puff on her own cigarette again.

He shook his head with low, sad eyes, blowing the smoke out of his mouth.

"Do you want to be alone?" She wondered.

He looked at her. A concerned expression covered her entire beautiful face. Her green eyes were fixated on his grey blue ones. She cared about him, he could tell. He was so grateful for that.

He shook his head. "No."

She nodded, agreeing to stay with him.

By the time they finished their cigarettes, Jesse's breathing had finally evened out. His mind didn't race quite as fast, and his body temperature had regulated.

"Hey, do you want to go to New Orleans with me today?" Jolie asked after she threw the cigarette butt into the yard. "The girls are spending the day with my mom today to give me some alone time. I was going to go into the city, maybe lay in the aquarium tunnel for a while." She winked.

Jesse chuckled, realizing that's what she was doing when he first met her, having alone time. "You won't really be alone if I go," he pointed out.

"I'd rather be with you than by myself," she admitted, surprised that she said that aloud. She wanted to say something to quickly cover up her accidental flirting, but when she saw a smile tug on the corners of his lips, she remained quiet.

Since it was Sunday, Jesse didn't technically have to work in the shop that day, though he often worked late into the night and even on the weekends due to his sheer love of his job. But he figured he could use the company of the pretty girl to take his mind off of his shitty night.

"Well in that case," he replied with a smile. "I'd love to go with you."

~

The ferry traveled across Lake Pontchartrain slowly, but fast enough to create a slight breeze, as it carried passengers from the north shore to the south shore, which would lead them to New Orleans.

The wind brushed Jolie's hair back and away from her face as she and Jesse leaned on the railing, staring out at the view. Well, she was staring at the view. He was staring at her – at her long eyelashes, her perfectly shaped lips, the soft skin of her exposed neck, the earring dangling off of her ear. She was beautiful in every way.

Jolie wondered, as she stared at the water, what plagued Jesse in such a way that would have him rushing outside for air at five o'clock in the morning. She figured she probably didn't want to know; if something terrible had happened to him, it would break her heart. He was so deserving of happiness, and she didn't think she could bear to hear of him experiencing any kind of trauma.

The forty-minute ride across the huge lake was silent as their thoughts were consumed with each other.

When the ferry docked on the south shore, they took a shuttle into the city, but once they got off, Jolie led him a few blocks away, where they stood at what looked like a bus stop.

"What are we doing here?" He wondered.

"Just wait," she replied as she glanced down the street. "It'll take us a little out of the way, but I figured you should get a good tour of New Orleans first."

He narrowed his eyes at her curiously, unsure of what the hell she was talking about. Only a few moments later, a streetcar that looked like it came straight from the early 1900s pulled up right in front of them.

A smile graced his lips. "Wow. That's neat."

Jolie smiled at his reaction as they boarded the car.

They sat close together, turned nearly sideways so they could stare out the window at the sights they passed.

The first few hours of their day was spent riding the different street cars around the city, showing them dozens of antebellum mansions and plantation homes, historic buildings and cemeteries, stunning centuries-old oak trees, and all throughout the French Quarter and downtown New Orleans.

Jesse fell in love with the city all over again. He was surrounded by so much beauty and so many things that made him want to be a better person. He was so glad he had decided to stay in New Orleans, and he never wanted to leave. He knew he was truly better off staying right where he was. He didn't think any other place in the world could make him feel that way or surround him with such incredible people.

Even though the tours were for Jesse's sake, Jolie enjoyed them just as much. She felt blissful; she often took New Orleans for granted, forgetting, at times, what a beautiful and historic city it was, and it was nice to be reminded with such peaceful tours.

She was happy to call New Orleans her home.

"Do you want a drink?" Jolie asked as they walked side by side through the French Market, eyeing the things that were being sold. "I kind of want a drink."

Jesse glanced at the watch on his wrist. "...it's three in the afternoon."

Jolie smiled. "And?"

"It's kind of early," he pointed out.

She laughed wildly. "What are you, new here? This is New Orleans."

Jesse's face wrinkled in a disgusting manner as he sipped the bright red beverage from the straw in the glass that Jolie was holding out to him. "Gross." He shook his head.

"You don't like it?" She asked, shocked, as they sat in a round booth in the back of a semi-empty local bar. The empty glasses from their previously consumed drinks were scattered across the table.

"It's **way** too sweet," he grimaced. "I see why they call it a hurricane – it's a hurricane of sugar."

She laughed a little. "Wait till you experience a real hurricane."

"Is it as bad as it sounds?" He wondered.

She thought for a moment, remembering the times in her past where a hurricane's presence _was_ as bad at it sounds, but she simply shrugged, not wanting to get into the details.

"It can be," she replied. "But most of the time, it just means a few days off of work with an excuse to party and drink during the week." She paused for a moment, realizing she wouldn't be able to do things like that anymore. "Well...that's what it _used_ to mean for me. I guess now it'll mean being trapped inside with my parents and the girls." She smirked. "And you."

He dismissed her flirty comment, intrigued by her statement and wanting to know more about her past life. "What was your life like before your brother passed away?"

Her smile faded as she looked into his eyes. Whether it was the haziness from the alcohol or her complete trust and vulnerability when it came to him, she felt herself open up.

"I was fun," she said as she looked away, staring off into the depth of the bar as if she were picturing her old self. "I was a speech pathologist, and I was so damn good at my job. I was in school, working on my doctorate in audiology. I wanted to help people communicate in _every_ way possible."

Jesse couldn't help but smile. She was the purest and most incredible person alive.

"I mostly went to work and school and studied, but I had a lot of fun on the weekends," she continued. "I had a small group of friends. We only hung out to drink and party. I guess I was a little wild." She glanced over at Jesse briefly then back out into the bar. "Now my friends don't bother with me because they know I can never go out. So they obviously weren't great friends anyway."

He watched her carefully, observing every movement her lips made. He could tell when she was reliving a memory in her mind by the way the emotion on her face subtly changed. He watched as she recalled the last few months of her life.

"After the accident, I just didn't have time to study anymore. I was constantly dealing with the girls. By the time they were asleep and the house was quiet, I was beyond exhausted and couldn't stay awake long enough to study or write a paper or anything. I had to drop out of the audiology program. And Lucy only goes to preschool half a day, so I quit my job so I could pick her up from school and take care of her the rest of the day."

Her face looked sad as she thought about the things she gave up for her nieces. Jesse reached over and grabbed her hand closest to him, squeezing it gently to remind her that she wasn't alone. Though her heart wanted to flutter and render her speechless, she continued with her story.

"We get by with the money my brother left, but I'll go back to work once Lucy's a little older, because I want them to have most of their parents money for when they go to college, you know? But my life is on hold for now," she sighed. "I mean, my mom offered to take care of the girls, or at least help me, but she and my dad are too old to raise little kids all over again. So I just did what I had to do."

Signaling the end of her story, she glanced back at him, still holding his hand. He was looking at her so intensely, she could tell he had soaked up every word she said and truly listened to her speak.

"They're going to have an incredible life because of you," he said softly. "You put them first, no matter how much it changed your life, and they're going to be so thankful for that one day. You are giving them a chance to have a great future. They probably wouldn't have had that without you."

Jolie pressed her lips together. "You sound so sure."

"I am," he replied.

"How?" She wondered. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because... You and your family are giving **me** a good life and a chance to have a great future at 27 years old," he admitted. "I can only imagine what kind of life I would've had if I had known you years ago."

Though his words were simple, they held so much meaning to Jolie. It was the first glimpse, albeit a small one, into his past. It was a clue as to how he felt about his life. His sad grey blue eyes suddenly spoke so much about his past. She could see so much pain and anguish and guilt and anger. She could see he was broken down from the person he used to be. She understood how that felt.

With her free hand, she reached up and touched his cheek softly, wanting to comfort the pain she assumed he was feeling. His eyes closed, overwhelmed by the feeling of her warm hand cupped against his face. He slightly leaned into her touch as her thumb moved slowly, caressing his stubble. He opened his eyes to see her face looking at him with such compassion.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" She wondered with a hushed voice.

"More than you could ever know," he replied honestly, feeling so incredibly vulnerable to her.

Though their minds were muddy from intoxication, they were so focused on each other, ignoring the world around them, able to clearly read each other's expressions.

"You're such a good person," she told him. "I want you to know that."

He shut his eyes again, furrowing his brow in agony. It shattered his heart to hear that. She didn't know him. She didn't know about the things he's done.

"You don't know the kind of life I lived," he said.

"I don't care," she said, shaking her head gently. "It doesn't matter. I only care about what I see in the present. And all I see is an incredibly hardworking and considerate guy, who has been so kind to me and my parents and the girls. You've been through a lot and you came out on top. I don't know who you were, but I know who you are, and you're an incredible person."

He stared at her, hanging off of the words she just spoke. He hadn't ever heard anyone say such nice things about him, and though he didn't feel like he was worth of her words, he relished in them, wanting to remember for the rest of his life that someone thought the world of him.

"Thank you," he told her softly.

He was truly thankful for her sincere words, but he didn't deserve them. He didn't deserve her. People who loved him always ended up hurt.

At the harsh reminder of the fate of his loved ones, he backed away from her hand, realizing he was doing exactly what he vowed not to do – get involved with the beautiful blonde from the aquarium.

"I, uh, could use another drink now," he muttered, fumbling for an excuse to move away from her without making it painfully obvious. "What about you?"

She nodded, not really aware of his sudden need to distance himself.

He got up and walked over to the bartender, where he ordered a couple more drinks for them. He rubbed his face with both his hands, trying to snap himself out of it. He fidgeted nervously as he waited for the drinks.

When he walked back over to the booth, Jolie was talking on her cell phone; a few tears fell freely down her face.

"Okay, baby, I know," she cooed into the phone. "It's okay... I'll be home in a little while... Okay, I love you... Bye."

She sniffled as she hung up, glancing up at Jesse, who was returning to their table.

"What's wrong?" He asked with a concerned face.

Jolie sighed. "Lia's upset because my mom doesn't know how to fix her hair the way she likes it."

"Why are you crying?" He wondered, confused.

"I just feel so guilty," she sighed. "And I'm drunk. At four o'clock in the afternoon. Having an emotional day with you. But mostly because I feel guilty."

"Guilty for what?"

"For needing a break from the girls," she admitted as more tears fell. "But when I get a break, all I do is come to New Orleans and get day-drunk or do ridiculous things like lay in the aquarium tunnel. I'm just a mess."

Jesse smiled at her rant as he reached up and wiped away her tears with his thumb. He knew he should've backed away and stayed away, but he just couldn't. He wanted to make her better, just like she and her family had done for him.

"Listen to me," he said as he cupped her face with both of his hands. "You are doing everything exactly as you're supposed to. You've got your shit together when you're with the girls, and that's all that matters. Parents need breaks from their kids sometimes so they can remember what it was like to have meaningless fun. That's just life. Besides, you suddenly became **two** parents to **two** kids. I think that calls for quadruple the breaks, so it sounds like you're right on track."

She smiled between his hands, sniffling a little as he wiped more tears from her cheeks.

He sighed, staring down at her. "I'm a mess too; don't worry".

They both shut their eyes as he pressed his forehead to hers lovingly. Before he knew what he was doing, he was touching her nose with his, giving her soft Eskimo kisses.

All of a sudden, Jolie felt like she was floating. There was nothing holding her to the Earth. No gravity, no atmosphere; there was nothing else around her except Jesse. She felt his warm breath on her lips and smelled the liquor from his mouth as he hovered close to her.

Her heart stopped beating until he spoke again:

"Let's head back so you can take care of your girls."


	11. Chapter 11

"Now you gotta be gentle," Coop directed as he hovered over Jesse, showing him how to work with a new type of wood. "Cypress is pretty delicate."

The smell of the cypress board filled Jesse's nostrils as he softly smoothed out the uneven surfaces. He tried to keep his pressure as light as possible as he pushed the sander across the wood.

Coop watched as Jesse worked, noticing how much effort Jesse put into his pieces. Though he wasn't quite a skilled carpenter yet, Coop was proud of how much his employee had improved since he first started. And he knew Jesse would never half-ass a project; he put all of his energy and effort into his work.

"Ah, jeez, kid, why don't you take the lead on this project?" Coop asked.

"Me?" Jesse wondered as he looked up at his boss.

"Yeah, you know, I'll supervise everything and help when needed, but I think it's time you take on a project alone," Coop answered.

Jesse looked at all the large pieces of cypress wood in the shop. Suddenly, the project seemed very daunting and exhausting. "This is a big project, Coop," he pointed out. Go figure his boss would give him the lead on the biggest project they've done since he started working there.

"Nothing you can't handle," his boss defended. "Look, you're not going to screw anything up. I'll supervise everything you do, but I want you to do most of the work on your own to get a good feel for this. I want you to have a little more responsibility in the shop."

Jesse looked at all the wood once more then back at his boss, wondering if this was his way of preparing him to run the shop; he wondered if Coop changed his mind about letting him take over. "Okay," he replied, nodding. "I can do it."

"Of course you can," Coop agreed, patting him on the back.

The crunching of gravel could be heard as a car, presumably Jolie's, rustled up the rocky driveway. The late September air breezed into the shop through the open garage door as Jesse looked up to see Lia jump out of Jolie's car and rush toward the shop. Her backpack bounced all around her back as she gripped a piece of paper in her hands.

"JESSE!" Lia yelled as she ran into the shop. "LOOK WHAT I GOT!" She stopped dead in her tracks and held up the paper proudly.

Jesse put down the sander and walked over to her.

"What is that?" He asked as he leaned over to read the paper.

It was a certificate from the spelling bee. Lia had won.

"You won?" He asked with wide eyes.

Her smile stretched from ear to ear as she nodded proudly. "I won! I won the whole entire spelling bee!"

Happily, Jesse picked up the girl and threw her over his shoulder just as Jolie was walking into the shop carrying Lucy on her hip. "Look out, Jo! I found the smartest girl alive! Her head is so big because she has a ginormous brain!"

Jolie and Coop both smiled at the sweet interaction as Lia giggled wildly over Jesse's shoulder.

"Heeey, I don't have a big head!" Lia protested with a laugh.

"Well you should," Jesse said as he slowly put the girl back on her own two feet. "Because your brain is HUGE because you're a GENIUS."

Lia giggled again and put her hand on her hip. "You're just saying that."

"Am not," Jesse replied. "You're much smarter than I am. I've never won a spelling bee."

"Never?" Lia asked with wide eyes.

Jesse shook his head. "Never. Not once."

"Hey, congratulations, spelling champ," Coop called over to his granddaughter.

"Thanks, Grandpa," she said as she ran over to him. "Look at my certificate!"

Jolie walked over to Jesse, still holding Lucy.

"Hey, Luce," Jesse greeted sweetly. She stared at him in her typical fashion.

"You were the first person she wanted to show her certificate to," Jolie told him. "Because you helped her practice so much."

He smiled. "That's sweet."

Jolie smiled back at him, holding her stare for a few seconds. They shared a subtle moment, as they had been doing often since their emotional day together in New Orleans. She thought about him constantly. He thought about her even more.

They both knew that their situation was different and, consequently, a little difficult.

Jesse knew that eventually he would have to be truthful about his past to Jolie. He didn't _want_ to lie to her; she deserved to know the truth. But he feared her reaction. She would _never_ allow him to be in her life or the girls' lives if she knew about the horrible things he's done, and understandably so. Not to mention, he worked for her father and lived in her parents' house. And he didn't want that to change anytime soon, but he knew his job and home security would be taken away from him if she found out what a piece of shit he really was.

And on Jolie's end, she was worried about the girls. She came with a package. Not only would Jesse have to be a boyfriend, but he'd have to eventually be a father too. She knew that was a lot to ask. And she hadn't worked out the details for herself yet either; she hadn't figured out how to nurture, or even begin, a relationship as a single mother. Plus with Jesse's close proximity to her home, there would have to be extreme boundaries.

So for the time being, they remained silent about both their wants and worries when it came to each other and just enjoyed their moments together.

~

A few nights later, Jesse sat on the side of the lake, watching the water ripple through the reflection of the moonlight. He had finished his pack of cigarettes almost an hour ago, but he was still enjoying the peace and quiet, trying to clear his brain of all his racing thoughts to reach total silence.

In order to move forward with his life, he tried to rid his mind of his past. And not just the last two years, but _all_ of it. He tried not to think about all of his wrongdoings and mistakes and how much pain he's caused other people and himself, yet he couldn't help but compare how different his life was in Louisiana. What a difference a year can make.

He knew that even if he decided to move again in the future, he would never go back to his old ways. Louisiana and the Quinn family had changed him - for the better and for the rest of his life.

And he was so thankful for that.

He was nearly startled by the sound of grass and leaves rustling beneath someone's feet behind him, but as soon as he glanced over his shoulder and saw her, he relaxed.

"Hey you," Jolie spoke as she walked up to him.

"Hey," Jesse replied softly.

"Mind if I join you?" She wondered, reciting their usual self-invitation to one another's relaxation spot.

"Not at all," he answered honestly.

She sat down beside him and exhaled softly, as if her body was finally relaxing. And truthfully, she _was_ finally relaxing. Smelling Jesse's cologne mixed with the smell of cigarettes, feeling his warmth next to her - it all put her at ease.

"What's on your mind tonight?" He asked her, noting her subtle sigh.

"I just had a rough conversation with Lia," she answered.

He looked over at her, smiling softly to himself when he saw her cute little ear poking out from her hair that was tucked behind it.

"About what?" He wondered, even though he was fairly certain he already had a good idea of what it was about.

"She asked if she could go to Heaven to see her parents," Jolie said with a heavier sigh, looking out at the lake.

Jesse's face fell. Though he understood her need to talk about the painful things in her life, he truly hated hearing heartbreaking things like that. He wanted to reach out and hug her. Hell, he just wanted to **touch** her. But he wasn't sure if it was an appropriate time or not, so he forced his hands to keep to themselves.

"I mean, what do you even say when a six-year-old tells you they want to die to be with their parents? All I did was tell her that one day she _will_ be in Heaven with them," she scoffed, feeling tears well up in the rim of her eyes. "She accepted it as an answer, but hell, I didn't comfort her or try to explain anything or try to make her feel differently about it, I just-"

"Hey," Jesse interrupted her ramble as he glanced at her, stopping his hands again from reaching out to touch her. "I don't think there was a right or wrong way to respond to that. She's six. She doesn't even understand the meaning of what she's saying. Keeping it simple was the best thing to do. And you did just that."

She looked over at him, seeing an expression on his face that was hard to explain. It looked like he was in pain or worried. Or both.

"I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up all the time," he continued, noting the tears in her eyes. "You're a great mom."

She pressed her lips together, feeling overly emotional with him yet again. "I'm sorry, Jesse."

"For what?" He asked with a confused expression and tone.

"I'm always getting so emotional around you and whining about having to be a parent and dumping all of my personal thoughts and conflicts onto you," she admitted, sheepishly.

Jesse let out a small, almost sarcastic, chuckle. "You don't do any of those things," he reassured.

"Yes, I do," she insisted, looking back out at the lake.

"That's not the way I see it," he replied. "I like that you're comfortable enough with me to be open and honest and show your emotions. I don't think of it as a bad thing." Succumbing to the overwhelming desire to simply touch her, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him for a sideways hug. "C'mere."

He had intended to only hug her for a moment, but when she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, he kept his arm around her. She relaxed into him, putting her arm around his waist, welcoming his hug and returning with her own. She embraced his warmth and inhaled his scent up close, feeling flutters in her stomach. His heart was experiencing flutters of its own.

Feeling more confident and more content than before, Jesse pressed his lips to the top of Jolie's head. He kissed her comfortingly but his lips lingered as he inhaled. Her hair smelled sweet - not like flowers, but like berries - and he thought that was very fitting for someone like her.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"For what?" He mumbled into her hair.

"You make me feel better," she said. "Whether you intend to or not."

His lips curved into a slight smile, and he kissed her head again to let her know the feeling was mutual.

He never had to think too much when it came to Jolie. She was simple and so was he.


	12. Chapter 12

Silence and darkness surrounded the Quinn property, but it wasn't the usual peaceful and calm atmosphere that Jesse always appreciated; it was eerie. Though it was early in the afternoon, the sky was unsettling and ominous. Thick murky clouds rolled over the lake as Jesse watched the storm brew from the porch, feeling unnerved for the first time since he had arrived in Louisiana.

As if on cue with his thoughts, rain started to fall from the grey clouds. It was light at first but quickly grew heavy, as did the wind. Humidity enclosed on his skin as thunder rumbled above.

He was about to experience his first hurricane.

"It's starting," Linda announced as she peered out the front door. "Finish up your cigarette then come on inside, honey."

Jesse looked down at his hand to see swirls of smoke rising from his lit cigarette. He had forgotten all about it, which was apparent from the growth of ashes on the tip.

"Yes ma'am," he replied appropriately, looking over at her for a moment.

When she shut the door, Jesse flicked the ashes off of his cigarette then took a long drag, trying to calm his nerves.

When Jolie had mentioned hurricanes during their trip to New Orleans, she brushed them off like they were harmless – at least, that was the impression Jesse had gotten. But the family's reaction was much more worrisome when the weather channels and news stations began alerting the southern coast about a hurricane brewing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Three days before, meteorologists predicted the path of Hurricane George to pass right over New Orleans and Madisonville, and that was when the craziness started. Jolie and Linda took the girls to the grocery store to stock up on things like nonperishable food items, bottles of water, flashlights, and batteries. Then Jolie and the girls packed a few days worth of clothes to stay at Coop and Linda's house until the storm passed so that everyone would be together in case of an emergency. Coop recruited Jesse to help him board up the windows of both houses then secure all the equipment and projects in the shop by moving them off of the ground and onto the tops of the desks and shelves to avoid damage if the shop flooded.

"You okay?" Jolie wondered as she walked out onto the porch. "My mom said you seemed a little anxious."

"I am," he laughed as the beautiful blonde approached him. At the sight of her, all the gloom and doom instantly faded into the background. "You made it seem like hurricanes were a walk in the park, but it feels like we're preparing for the apocalypse."

She chuckled, remembering this was his first time dealing with a hurricane. "We've been under-prepared for a storm before. We learned our lesson the hard way, so we'll **always** be over-prepared from now on, because with hurricanes, you just never know what's going to happen. It's better to be prepared for the apocalypse and experience a little thunderstorm than to prepare for a little thunderstorm and experience the apocalypse."

"Good point," he nodded, blowing smoke out of his mouth. "Better to be safe than sorry."

"Exactly," she agreed.

Though he liked the way her hair was flowing in the wind, the gusts were getting stronger, so he flicked his cigarette into the rain. "Let's get inside before we blow away."

She smiled, noting that he seemed to be easing up a little.

Jesse held the door open for Jolie, guiding her inside with his hand on the small of her back. Lately, he found himself coming up with any excuse to touch her, even if it was only briefly. He couldn't control himself; he simply found his hands constantly drawn to her like magnets to metal.

Not that she minded in the slightest.

Coop and Linda's house was dark on the inside, which was unusual because the sun was always shining through the windows and into the rooms. But now the windows were boarded up and the sun was hiding behind a hurricane, which made even the inside lights seem dim.

The TV muttered quietly in the living room as a meteorologist gave an update on the status of the storm. As he stood in front of a white swirl rotating across the map, he informed viewers that the hurricane had upgraded to a category two on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane wind scale, with possible gusts up to 110 miles per hour. It wasn't an overly intense hurricane, but he warned residents in its path to secure their surroundings and plan to stay indoors for a few days in case of flooding.

"Ah, jeez," Coop groaned when Jolie and Jesse walked into the room. "That wind's strong enough to knock our power out for a few days."

"Now you hush," Linda countered. "Don't jinx us."

The thunder rumbled outside again, vibrating the windows ever so slightly despite the fact that they were protected behind planks of plywood.

"Aunt Jo," a shaky little voice called from the top of the stairs.

The four adults in the living room glanced up to see Lia looking down at them with a concerned look on her face.

"What's wrong, honey?" Jolie asked.

"I'm scared," Lia stated. "It's scary outside."

Jolie nodded and headed upstairs to secure the girls in "their" room and reassure them that things would be okay.

When they were out of sight, Linda sighed. "The accident happened at night during a thunderstorm," she informed Jesse with a frown. "She doesn't handle thunder and lightning and rain very well anymore."

Jesse pressed his lips together, staring up at the space where the little girl was standing only moments earlier. "I don't blame her. I'd be scared too."

He sat down on the loveseat that was adjacent to the couch where Coop and Linda were sitting. He didn't like the gloomy atmosphere that the hurricane brought; it reminded him way too much of Albuquerque. He had gotten used to Louisiana's happy, bright, and relaxing atmosphere, and he missed it.

When Jolie came back downstairs a few minutes later, she sat beside him on the couch. He could smell her berry shampoo from where he was sitting, and it eased his anxiety.

The rest of the day was spent silently around the TV, watching the constant news updates on the storm, even though the information repeated every forty-five minutes if there was nothing new to be reported. Everyone was unusually quiet that day. Even the little girls, who were typically busy run around and playing and laughing. Maybe it was due to the solemnity of the hurricane outside, but Jesse attributed it to the darkness.

Coop and Linda's house was always bright, literally due to the sun and lights and metaphorically due to the upbeat personalities and positive attitudes of the Quinn family. But the black clouds and thick boards over the windows made everything and everyone much darker and quieter.

It didn't take long for the weather outside to grow more violent. The wind whistled through the trees quickly, knocking down leaves and branches, which flew around the yard aimlessly. The rain beat against the siding of the house, thudding throughout the quiet living room. Tumultuous thunder roared and jagged lightning flashed.

"I know it's a little early, but I'm going to start dinner in case the power goes out," Linda stated as she stood up and stretched her appendages. She was beginning to get antsy and bored.

"Well I'm about to damn near fall asleep, so I'm going upstairs to take a nap. Someone wake me when the food is ready, please," Coop requested as he stood and mimicked Linda by stretching.

Jolie chuckled as her parents scampered off to their destinations. "Those two can't sit still to save their lives."

When Jesse looked over at the beautiful blonde, all he could see were her lips. His eyes traced the delicate outline of her pink lips, full and plump. He imagined how soft and warm they would be against his own and how saccharine they would taste. He couldn't comprehend the sudden urge he felt. Something about the way she looked in the darkness of the house, a flash of brightness and beauty in all the silence and bad weather; it had him eager to kiss her. Maybe it was the vulnerability of being stuck in the house with her; he didn't know, he just wanted to feel her lips against his.

"What?" She asked, noticing his concentrated stare.

"I, uh..." he muttered, shaking his head softly and breaking the eye contact. She caught him off guard, but he felt brave and impulsive. He wasn't sure if he was going to _tell_ her he wanted to kiss her or just _actually_ kiss her, but as he slowly leaned toward her, he felt a strong impulse, intensified by a loud clap of thunder from outside.

"Aunt Jo!" Lia's voice screeched from upstairs.

Jesse subtly sunk back into the couch as Jolie sighed.

"She's just scared," she said as she stood up. "Hold that thought."

With a nod, Jesse watched as she walked past him and up the stairs. He loved everything about her body, but her hips nearly killed him as they swayed with every step she took. He was typically drawn to the most sexual parts of a woman, her breasts or her butt, but his favorite asset of Jolie's was her hips. They were curvy and womanly below her thin waist, but they didn't protrude in a discernible way. They were subtle yet supple, and that drove him wild.

He blinked a few times, trying to shake his sudden carnal thoughts. What was going on with him? Did he really have to have those types of thoughts while they were stuck in a house together _with her parents_?

When Jolie came back downstairs, she wasn't expecting to see an empty loveseat, hopeful that she and Jesse would continue where their conversation left off, as it seemed to her like she was about to be kissed. She realized that it was probably not a good idea to begin making out on her parents couch like a couple sex-deprived teenagers anyway.

~

It was difficult for Jesse to do anything but stare at Jolie during dinner. His thoughts hadn't left his mind, though he tried to keep them as tame as possible when he was in the presence of her parents.

He stayed mostly quiet and tuned out everyone else's chatter while he tried to focus on rational thoughts like why he needed to stay away from Jolie and why it was a bad idea to get involved. He tried to convince himself to leave her alone, but he couldn't.

After dinner, he excused himself to his room to shower and clear his thoughts by himself, but as soon as he was dressed again, this time in black basketball shorts and a white t-shirt, he headed back into the main part of the house, unable to stay away for too long.

Lia, after a stressful day of coping with bad weather, fell asleep around eight o'clock that night, much to Jolie's satisfaction. It didn't take long – only about thirty minutes later – for Coop to follow suit and head to bed. It seemed like he would rather sleep than be bored with nothing to do. Linda, on the other hand, liked to clean when she had nothing else to do.

Lucy and Jesse sat on the couch watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, much like they had a few weeks back, with his arm draped over the couch behind her, chatting with her despite her silence.

Jolie sat on the loveseat, pretending to watch the show, but mostly paying attention to the other two in the room. She never got tired of watching Jesse treat Lucy so well and so adorably. It made her heart swell.

She loved hearing him tell Lucy about his favorite episodes and his favorite characters and how he dressed up like Raphael every year on Halloween and how he would even wear the costume on random days throughout the year too. She appreciated the small glimpse into his childhood.

"Hey, what do you want to be for Halloween, Luce?" Jolie asked, realizing the holiday was a little over a month away.

Lucy looked over at her aunt, staring blankly.

"A princess?" Jolie wondered.

The girl's stare remained vacant.

"A cat?"

Again, nothing.

Jolie tried to remain patient, but she wasn't sure how to determine what her niece wanted to dress up as if she didn't tell her. "What about a fairy?"

Lucy's expressionless stare persisted.

"How about a ninja turtle?" Jesse suggested, gesturing toward the characters on the TV.

Lucy's eyes lit up as she looked up at Jesse and nodded.

Jolie's jaw dropped. "Oh my god," she whispered, stunned. "She responded to you."

A smile spread across Jesse's face as he glanced over at Jolie, who looked so overcome with joy.

Though it wasn't a verbal response, the child had technically responded to Jesse's question, and that was progress in and of itself.

"You want to be a ninja turtle?" Jolie asked for confirmation.

Lucy looked over at her and nodded again.

Jolie placed her hand on her chest to steady her happy heart from beating right out of her chest.

"Okay! Well, which one do you want to be?" She asked, trying to maintain an upbeat tone in her voice though she was on the verge of tears.

The little girl didn't respond, but she looked at Jesse as if she was asking for help finding the correct answer again.

"I bet I know," Jesse smiled at her. "Leonardo, the blue one."

Lucy smiled and nodded.

Jesse couldn't stop smiling as he looked at the little girl. He was so happy to see her so happy, and he was thrilled she was making progress – period – but especially with him. He hadn't thought about it much before, because he was used to her silence and had never even heard her voice, but he realized _he_ wanted to hear her talk too. Not only for the sake of her family, but to be able to communicate and bond with her as well. He bet she probably had the cutest and sweetest little voice, very fitting for such an adorable kid.

The look of adoration on Jesse's face, as he beamed at Lucy's sudden improvement, made Jolie's heart skip a beat. And that was all it took for her to know that she had fallen completely in love with him.


	13. Chapter 13

Jesse found himself unable to sleep that night as the storm raged vehemently outside. The swirl of the hurricane covered them on the Weather Channel map, and there was nothing left to do but ride out the storm. He fell in and out of consciousness out of sheer boredom until a loud pop erupted throughout the house. All the lights quickly faded and the humming of the air conditioner and electricity whirred to a halt as the power went out.

Lia's frightened little voice rang out immediately after, screaming bloody murder for her aunt.

Jesse frowned at the thought of the terrified little girl waking up to total darkness. He hoped she had remembered to bring a flashlight with her to bed or that Jolie had remembered one for her.

Suddenly realizing he had forgotten to bring his own flashlight with him to his room, he groaned. Annoyed, he threw the covers off of his lower half then climbed out of bed. Moving cautiously, he made his way into the house, slowly feeling around for objects and furniture to guide himself through the darkness to his destination.

When he finally reached the kitchen, he could hear muffled voices upstairs. It sounded like Lia was upset and crying and Jolie was trying to console her.

He shuffled around with the flashlights and batteries, mentally scolding himself for waiting until it was already dark to set up his light. After four or five different tries, he finally got all the batteries properly into place and put the light back together then tested it to see if it worked.

When the light flickered on, it caught Jolie's attention as she walked from Lia and Lucy's room to her own.

"Hello?" She called in a semi-whisper from upstairs.

"Hey," Jesse mimicked her whisper from the kitchen. "It's just me. I forgot my flashlight earlier."

Happier than she would've liked to admit, she smiled at the sound of his hushed voice. Instead of walking back to her room, she ventured down the stairs to see the face she adored so much – the face that was on her mind constantly.

Jesse's face broke out into a full-blown smile when he heard her coming down the stairs. When she rounded the corner into the kitchen, he could barely see her face in the darkness but could make out her silhouette. Even her silhouette was beautiful.

"Is Lia okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," Jolie replied, walking over to him. "The noise freaked her out. This is the first bad storm they've experienced since the accident."

"Lucy's okay too?" He wondered.

"She handles it better than Lia, but her little face always looks so scared," Jolie sighed.

Jesse frowned. "They're brave little girls."

"They are," she agreed. "I think I'm gonna sneak out for a cigarette. You coming?"

"In this insane storm?" He wondered.

"We'll sit on the porch away from the rain," she laughed as she reached out and grabbed his hand, not taking 'no' for an answer.

He didn't mind one bit.

Though the porch was covered and they stood against the house, the wild wind managed to whip sprinkles of rain in their direction, misting them ever so slightly. It felt good in contrast to the humid heat, though it nearly put out their cigarettes more than once.

Out of seemingly nowhere, the wind and rain picked up significantly, nearly knocking them both to the ground. It frightened Jesse for a moment as he watched the nearby trees almost snap in half from the gusts.

"Yo, should we go back inside?" He wondered. His voice was full of concern.

"Wait," Jolie replied, knowing what was happening. "I want you to see this."

They braced themselves against the house as the wind thrashed vigorously against them. The rain was rough and stung as it hit their skin with impressive velocity. They were getting soaked and cold and uncomfortable.

"You're crazy," Jesse joked with a laugh, though he felt like it was true at the moment. "Let's go back inside before we get killed!"

"It's okay," Jolie reassured as she grabbed his hand. "Just wait a second!"

Jesse began to wonder what the hell they were doing and what the hell they were waiting for. Then it happened.

Everything slowed to a halt. It was as if a light switch had been flipped off. The wind, the rain, the intensity, and even the sounds all stopped. It was eerily quiet and calm.

"What just happened?" Jesse wondered as he stared at the sky in amazement. "Is it over?"

The grey clouds were still moving, swirling above them, moving at an eerie pace. It was hardly raining and there was only subtle wind, but the sky still looked menacing.

"No, we're in the eye of the storm," she informed him. "The most intense winds and rains are in the wall around the eye. That's why it got so crazy for a few minutes. But we're in the eye now."

He was so fascinated by the idea of being in the exact middle of the hurricane, where it was the calmest, yet surrounded by the most intense part. In a daze of astonishment, he walked down the steps of the porch and into the open yard, staring up at the mass of grey clouds above him.

Jolie smiled at his bewilderment, following suit and joining him in the open yard to stare up at the craziness.

"This is the coolest thing," he said as he looked over at her.

She smiled so sweetly, glancing at him beside her.

Jesse felt so incredible being under that intense sky, being in the dead center of a hurricane, and seeing Jolie next to him, smiling so happily, looking so beautiful even at the early hours of the morning. It was such a rush of so many wonderful sensations.

Overwhelmed by it all, he reacted in a way he never saw coming. He turned Jolie to him and grabbed her face, pulling her in close and pressing his lips to hers. With all of his built up emotions and feelings and love and excitement, he kissed her.

Her knees nearly went weak, and it took her a second to realize what was really happening. She finally began to kiss back, feeling the passion exude from Jesse's lips. She felt the need and want and pain coming from his body and his lips, and she returned the exact same feelings, clutching the fabric of his t-shirt in her hands.

He couldn't get enough of the way she tasted and the way her lips felt on his; warm and soft – just as he had expected. It was perfect, and he was afraid he had opened a can of worms with that kiss, because he knew he'd want to kiss her every second of every day for the rest of his life from that point forward, and he wondered how he could make that happen.

It seemed as if the kiss would've lasted for days, but the rain and wind quickly resumed, interrupting their intimacy and bringing them back to reality.

Jolie pulled away first. Jesse could've stayed in the middle of the violent winds and heavy rains forever, as long as he was kissing her.

"Okay, _now_ we should probably get back inside," she pointed out with a laugh as the rain fell on them in sheets, soaking them even more.

Jesse smiled and nodded, grabbing her hand and running back toward the porch.

Once they were safely back inside, Jolie grabbed them each a towel to dry off with.

"I should, uh, probably get up to my room to change," Jesse stated, realizing his clothes were dripping all over the floor.

"I should probably do the same," she stated as she tousled the water out of her hair with the towel.

He wondered for a moment if he should kiss her again before he left, but he was afraid he'd never leave if he felt her lips on his again.

"Hey, don't forget your flashlight," she reminded him as she handed him it to him.

When he took it from her hands, she reached onto her tippy toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He smiled at her sweetly when she backed away. He wondered if the smile had left his face at all.

"See you in the morning," she said quietly as she turned away and headed for the stairs.

The feeling of her lips on his cheek lingered for the rest of the night.

Neither one of them could stop thinking about their kiss as they laid in their own beds. It didn't feel weird or awkward. It didn't feel like they had to sit down and discuss their relationship or figure out what had happened and what would happen in the future. It was just a sweet, gentle, loving kiss. Maybe it would happen again (in Jesse's mind there was no doubt). Maybe it wouldn't. Either way, it was quite a story to say that their first kiss was in the middle of the eye of a hurricane.


	14. Chapter 14

Jesse smiled humbly in front of his completed custom cypress cabinets, the first project he had taken the lead on, as he showed Coop, Linda, and Lia the finished product. The cabinets were fairly simple, not like the intricate carved ones that his boss had built before, but he thought they were beautiful and strong, and he was very proud of them.

"Ooh!" Lia chirped as she bounced up and down. "Pretty!"

Jesse smiled at her, appreciative of her childlike, yet genuine, praise.

"Well I'll be damned, kid," Coop began. "You did one helluva job!"

"Oh, Jesse! It's beautiful!" Linda commended as she walked over and hugged him joyfully. "You should be so proud of yourself."

"Thank you," Jesse replied earnestly, truly proud of his work.

The deadline for the cabinets had been pushed back a few days due to the hurricane, but once the bad weather ended, he got right back to work and continued working until his project was completed.

Jesse found it very relieving to see how quickly life moved on after a hurricane passed. When the storm headed up to Arkansas, where it dissipated over land, and the electricity came back on, the Quinn family went on with their lives. They spent nearly a full day cleaning up the debris of trash, tree branches, and leaves in the yard, but once that was taken care of, life continued as normal. And he was thankful for that; he was thrilled to get back to the peaceful, calm life he had built.

Though he'd never forget his first hurricane.

"The customers are going to love it, kid," Coop said as he and Jesse loaded the cabinets into the back of his truck later. "You did a great job."

"Thanks," Jesse replied, helping secure the piece. "Thanks for letting me lead this one."

Coop shut the tailgate of his truck then patted Jesse on the back and smiled, knowing he was appreciative of the added responsibility. "Take the rest of the day off, son. You deserve it."

Jesse nodded, still smiling, and watched as Coop got into his truck and headed down the gravel road to deliver the cabinets to their customers. Even though his boss had told him to take the rest of the day off, he headed back into the shop to at least clean up so Coop wouldn't have to later.

He swept up the scrapped wood chips and dust, cleaned all the tools, organized all the stray boards of wood, and put everything back where it belonged. Just as he was finishing up, something whizzed by, buzzing in his ear.

Reflexively, he swatted the air near his face and watched as a fly landed on the desk in front of him. He narrowed his eyes at it then very slowly pulled the rag out of his back pocket. In one swift movement, he slapped the towel down on the table to squash the insect.

He lifted the rag to see if he was successful, but the fly was gone, buzzing around him and the shop, as if to show off the fact that he had survived the intended attack.

Jesse followed the bug around the shop, swatting at it with the rag as it hummed through the air, but he never came close to knocking it to the ground. He grabbed a magazine from Coop's desk and rolled it up then waited for the fly to land on a flat surface.

When it finally settled on a piece of plywood within his reach, he slammed the magazine down, grunting from the exertion. But the bug buzzed loudly as it flew by his face, unharmed.

"God dammit!" Jesse shouted, gripping the magazine in his hand tightly.

Suddenly, Jesse saw Mr. White in his mind. It startled him. The magazine slowly fell from his hand, hitting the ground with a slight smack, as he pictured Mr. White – or Walt, or Walter, or Heisenberg, or whoever the hell his "partner" was that day – as he chased a fly throughout their extensive underground lab a couple years back.

He realized he was doing the exact same thing at that moment. How did he not see it?

The color drained from his face. In an emotionless flashback daze, he walked over to the garage door, hit the button on the wall to shut it then walked out the main door and down to the lake, where he sat on the bank and lit up a cigarette.

_"I'm saying I've lived too long," Walt explained as he stood in the middle of the lab, staring off into the dark corners of their personal hellhole._

Jesse remembered Walt's spiel about missing his perfect opportunity to die, but he brushed him off, thinking he was just getting groggy and hazy from the sleeping pills Jesse had drugged him with, because he hadn't slept in over 24 hours and was acting and talking crazy.

_"Y'know, I was thinking maybe before the fugue state, but before the fugue state, I didn't have enough money...so no, not then," Walt deducted, sorting his memories into a timeline. "And, uh, plus m-my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born."_

_"Mr. White," Jesse tried to get his attention to change the subject, get his mind off of his inconveniently late death. He was uncomfortable with the subject and antsy to get back to their cook._

Thinking back to that day, Jesse couldn't remember what it was like to **want** to cook meth. He couldn't remember **why** he wanted to cook meth so badly. Sometimes, it felt like a dream, something too surreal to ever happen in real life. He knew he was a shithead, but he couldn't believe there was a time when he actually **wanted** to cook meth.

_"Ah, I know the moment," Walt spoke softly as he glanced toward Jesse, who was unsure of what else to say. "It was the night Jane died."_

The memory made Jesse's heart thump in his chest, just as it had done that night when Walt spoke the words to his face. Tears welled up in his eyes, knowing that if Walt **had** died that day, Jane would still be alive.

His body ached as the nicotine filled his veins and the memories flooded his body. When he woke up to Jane's lifeless body, after sleeping next to her corpse for God knows how long, he ached everywhere. He not only felt mental agony, but he felt physical pain as well. Every time he thought about Jane, he felt that same mental and physical anguish all over again. And it only got worse when he found out the truth.

_Walt no longer held human emotions. No empathy, no concern, no care. His empty eyes stared directly into Jesse's panicked ones. With frightening ease and perfect annunciation, he said, "I watched Jane die."_

_A confused breath escaped Jesse's lips as his brain scrambled to understand what the monster was saying and why._

_"I was there," Walt explained, showing only a sliver of vengeance, the last of his true human emotions. "And I watched her die."_

_Still trying to comprehend the words and not wanting to believe what he was hearing, Jesse could only stare at the unrecognizable man in front of him._

_"I watched her overdose and choke to death," Walt clarified, speaking clearly with a twinge of parental discipline in his voice, as if he was scolding Jesse for turning on him._

Jesse felt his heart sink into his stomach, just as it had that day. A few tears fell down his face as he flicked his cigarette into the yard.

_"I could have saved her," Walt spat, ready to deliver one final blow to the last of Jesse's bliss. "But I didn't."_

Jesse rubbed his face as he filled with anger and resentment. He wished he didn't have to think such horrific thoughts on a day that started out so well. He hated when the last two years of his pathetic life interrupted the better life he was living in Louisiana. He wondered if there would ever be a day when his past wouldn't hover over his happiness.

"Hello? Jesse?"

His head whipped around to see Jolie walking up behind him. He was so entrenched in his flashback that he hadn't heard her return from her trip to Baton Rouge with Lucy. He hadn't even heard her call his name numerous times.

He quickly brushed away the stray tears that lined his cheeks and sniffled to shake off his moment of utter weakness. "Hey you."

Jolie's face fell when she realized he had been crying. "What's wrong?"

He smiled and shook his head, trying to put on a brave front, though his eyes continued to water. He couldn't reply, knowing if he opened his mouth, only sobs would come out.

"Jesse," she mumbled sympathetically, feeling her heart ache at the sadness in his eyes.

She kneeled down in front of him, sitting on her feet, then cupped his face with her hands softly.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me what's going on with you," she spoke softly. "But you've got a support system now. Don't be afraid to use it."

He forced a smile and nodded as she pulled him in and wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist desperately, realizing how badly he needed her next to him. Tears fell, but his shitty feelings dissipated as he embraced her smell and her warmth with his face buried into her neck for comfort.

He still loved Jane, and he still wanted her to be alive (hell, he even still loved Andrea and wanted her alive, too), but he wondered what his life would be like if neither of them had died. Undoubtedly, things would be insanely different, and he most likely would have never made his way to Louisiana, so he had to believe and accept that everything – even Jane and Andrea's deaths – most likely happened for a reason. And he had to be thankful that his past led him to this beautiful life with this beautiful family and this beautiful girl.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

Lucy stared at her reflection in the tall mirror, smiling ever so slightly with satisfaction. It was Halloween night, and she was covered in a green jumpsuit, with blue bands wrapped around her knees and elbows, and a plastic turtle breastplate hung over her chest. On her back, a plastic turtle shell hung proudly, and she had a blue eye mask tied around her head. She was thrilled. She was Leonardo, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And in her eyes, nothing was cooler.

Lia walked into the room, dressed nearly identical, except her colors were purple, as she was Donatello. It wasn't her first choice for a costume, but when she saw her sister dressed as a ninja turtle, she thought it would be cool to dress like one too. Jolie was pleased about that, as it was cheaper to buy the four ninja turtle costumes together in bulk, despite the fact that they only needed two.

"Are you girls almost ready?" Jolie asked as she walked into the girls' bedroom.

"I am," Lia replied, nodding.

"What about you, Luce?"

With anticipation written all over her face, the little girl raised her clutched fist, holding an orange eye mask up to her aunt.

"Aw, do you want me to be the orange turtle?" Jolie asked.

Lucy nodded, causing Jolie to smile.

"I'll go change shirts then," Jolie smirked as she went back into her bedroom.

A few minutes later, in supportive fashion, she walked back into the girls' room dressed as Michaelangelo, the orange ninja turtle. The child's costume didn't fit her, of course, but she wore a green t-shirt with the shell on her back and the orange eye mask tied around her head.

"Alright, let's go to Grandma Lin and Grandpa Coop's cause you know they're going to want to take pictures," Jolie stated with a laugh.

As the girls walked out the front door and down the steps, Jolie noticed Lucy was especially in a hurry. She figured she was just excited, but when Lucy reached the bottom step, she took off in a mad dash toward the shop, not her grandparents' house.

Inside the shop, Jesse was sanding a few boards that would eventually be put together for a bookshelf. He immediately turned off the sander when he saw Lucy running into the shop.

"Whoa, look at you, Leonardo!" Jesse enthused as he walked over to the girl.

"Luce, what are you doing in here?" Jolie asked as she and Lia walked into the shop behind her.

Lucy raised her clutched fist, holding a red eye mask up to Jesse. Her eyes glittered behind her own blue mask.

Immediately, Jolie knew what her niece was doing. "Oh, Luce... Jesse has work to do. He doesn't have time to go trick or treating with us." Though she adored her niece's sentiment, she didn't want Jesse to feel obligated to do something so silly when he was busy.

Jesse's eyes beamed down at Lucy. "You want me to go trick or treating with you?"

The little girl held up the mask even closer to him.

"She wants you to wear the red mask," Jolie explained.

Jesse took the mask and smiled then kneeled down to Lucy's level. "You saved the Raphael mask for me?"

Lucy smiled and nodded.

Jesse's heart melted in his chest. She was the sweetest little girl he had ever met. Which wasn't surprising since she came from the sweetest family he had ever met. But there was something about the genuine soul of a child that made him feel so humbled.

He looked down at the red mask in his hands then looked at Lucy and said, "Give me fifteen minutes to shower and get ready."

~

Gratitude was all Jolie could feel as she watched Jesse walk down the street of the busy neighborhood, holding hands with Lucy on one side and holding hands with Lia on the other side. He was chatting with them, making small talk and pointing out the intricate and creative costumes that some of the other children had. He fit so well with them, like he had been there all along, walking between them and holding their hands.

Jolie was already in love with him. That was certain. But now, she was infatuated with him. It wouldn't take long until she became obsessed.

She still couldn't get over the fact that Jesse dropped everything he was doing to dress up like a ninja turtle, drive twenty minutes to a nearby neighborhood (since the Quinns had no neighbors except each other), and walk around with the girls while they went trick-or-treating from door to door.

She wondered, deep down, what the hell was wrong with Jesse Pinkman. Because surely _something_ had to be wrong with him. He was perfect – flawless in every way – but too perfect, too flawless.

He seemed too good to be true.

When they arrived at the first house, Jolie waited next to Jesse on the sidewalk, and they both watched proudly as Lia guided Lucy to the front porch, where they were greeted by an older man dressed like a scarecrow and an older woman dressed like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

"Trick or treat!" Lia exclaimed happily when they reached the porch.

"Well look how cute you two are!" The older woman said as she put some candy in Lia's bag.

"Um, my sister doesn't talk," Lia simply informed the couple. "So I say trick or treat for both of us!"

"Well you are a very sweet to do that for her," the older woman replied as she smiled and put some candy into Lucy's bag as well.

"Thank you!" Lia replied politely as she turned to walk away. She paused, as if she remembered something, then turned back around to the couple and said, "Um, I say 'thank you' for both of us too."

The older couple laughed, as did Jesse and Jolie.

"You are _both_ very welcome!" The woman responded.

The girls shuffled back to Jesse and Jolie, proud of their first candy donations.

"That was sweet, Lia," Jolie praised.

"It was," Jesse agreed as he ruffled her hair. "You're a great big sister."

"Thanks," Lia replied plainly. "Can we go to the next house now?"

"Yeah, let's go," Jesse gestured as the girls took his hands again.

Jolie's heart thumped in her chest as the butterflies fluttered around in the pit of her stomach. She never thought she would be so turned on by a guy who's good with children. But making the girls happy made her happy. And the girls were ecstatic.

House after house, Lia showed immense amounts of maturity and loyalty as she informed (when necessary) that she spoke for both herself and her sister in order to receive candy. She was on a roll, going from door to door without stopping, wanting to hit every house in the entire neighborhood.

Though a smile remained on Lucy's face for nearly the entire night (a huge sign of progress and pure happiness), she wasn't as energetic about walking so much and enduring so many social situations. About halfway through, her little feet began to drag and her pace slowed behind her sister's.

Noticing her weakened state, Jesse asked, "Getting tired, Luce?"

As if she had been waiting for someone to bring it up, she immediately nodded and lifted her arms up to him to be held.

Jolie planned to interject and hold the little girl, as it was an exhausting task sometimes, but without hesitation, Jesse scooped Lucy into his arms.

"Are you done for the night?" Jolie asked her niece.

Lucy nodded and laid her head onto Jesse's shoulder, burying her face into his neck. Jesse smiled, appreciative of the level of trust he had earned with the little girl, then adjusted the way he was holding her to make her more comfortable as she laid on him.

"Are you okay holding her? She gets heavy sometimes," Jolie wondered as she watched Lia run up to the next house for more candy.

"We're fine," Jesse smiled at her.

Jolie couldn't help but smile, overcome with such love and adoration for him. She quickly stood on her tippy toes and gave him a subtle kiss on his cheek to show how thankful she was for him.

~

"Can we go show Grandma Lin and Grandpa Coop all the candy we got tonight?!" Lia asked as she bounced around in the back of the car.

"Are you feeling up to it, Luce?" Jolie asked as she looked in the rearview mirror at her niece, who nodded, bouncing around as well. All it took was a little bit of sugar from her surplus of Halloween candy to get her back on her feet.

"Please! Just for a few minutes!" Lia begged.

"Alright," Jolie relented with a sigh, wanting the girls to enjoy the night as much as possible, especially since it wasn't a school night. "But you girls have to slow down on the candy before you get stomachaches."

"Fine," Lia huffed.

Jesse smiled, amused at the interaction between the beautiful blonde driving beside him and the adorable child in the back seat. He couldn't believe it, but he was having the time of his life. Had his priorities changed _that _much in three months? Or was he simply maturing?

Since he moved to Louisiana, a lot of things had happened that he never expected, but he had agreed to go trick-or-treating with the girls mostly to make them happy, not for his own enjoyment. Yet there he was, loving every moment of that night with them.

When they arrived back on the Quinn property, Jolie helped Lucy out of her car seat, and Jesse helped Lia climb out of the backseat, and the two girls sprinted full speed toward their grandparents' house, clutching their bags of candy.

"They're gonna be up all night," Jesse noted with a laugh as he and Jolie trailed behind the girls. "But they had fun so that's all that matters, right?"

Her attraction to him had been building all night, intensifying every time he did something adorable or sweet, until that moment when it suddenly exploded. Without thinking, Jolie grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, and spun him around then grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his with a passionate force. It was so sudden and quick, but her body language _screamed_ how badly she wanted him as she pushed her hips against his.

He took a moment to react, caught off guard and incredibly turned on by her making a move instead of the other way around, but he eventually regained full consciousness as he gripped her hips, pulling her closer to him as her tongue skirted along his bottom lip. Her hands snaked from his face around to the back of his neck, where she held him in place, having full control over the kiss.

Jesse's mind went blank as he tasted her again. He didn't know where he was, what day it was, or what his name was, and he didn't care. With her lips, Jolie had the ability to turn his brain into liquid and his bones into Jell-O.

The world faded into the background as they stood in the middle of the yard sharing an intense kiss, still clad in their ninja turtle costumes and eye masks. They had managed to make their first _and _second kiss memorable.

Jolie broke away from the kiss first but remained close.

"Thank you," she breathed, slowly catching her breath. "You were so incredible with the girls tonight. It means the world to me."

He smiled, feeling her appreciation. "So that's what that incredibly sexy surprise kiss was for?"

She smirked and nodded cutely.

"You don't have to thank me for that," he replied. "I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to. Plus I probably had just as much fun as they did."

She leaned in again, planting a softer, sweeter kiss on his lips. "I still appreciate it."

Jesse smiled softly in response then said, "Let's get inside before they come looking for us."

Jolie nodded, feeling the rush of cool air take the place of his warmth as they continued walking to her parents' house.

Inside, the girls were already dumping out all their candy on the table, excitedly pointing out their favorite pieces while Linda and Coop sat around the table. Jesse took his seat next to Lia and Jolie took her seat next to Lucy.

From the outside looking in, it seemed like they were one happy ninja turtle family with a mom, a dad, and two adorable daughters. Jolie wished it could be that simple and easy.

And that's when she realized their relationship had reached a strange point.

For a while, they flirted and got more intimate and personal and a lot more touchy-feely, and it wasn't a big deal. But when it involved the girls, it became a big deal.

Being in a relationship with her also meant being a father. And while Jesse seemed to be a pro, Jolie never wanted to make him feel obligated to fill that role. It was **a lot** to ask, and she knew that he would oblige due to his caring nature, but she wanted him to understand how permanent their relationship would have to be if that's what he thought he wanted. Playing house sounded and looked fun, but she wanted him to understand the reality of it. Because she didn't want the girls to lose another father if Jesse decided it was too much responsibility.

She decided on her own that it was best to keep their relationship from getting too serious for a while, giving him time to fully grasp what he was getting himself into. That way, if he backed out, no one would be too hurt.


	16. Chapter 16

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Soft light was shining through the window from the early morning sun. Subtle laughter floated in the background. It felt like a scene from a movie. One of those scenes that just make you feel **good** inside.

Still hazy from sleep, Jolie sat at the kitchen table, drinking hot coffee from a mug, watching from a distance as Jesse sat on the floor of the living room, with Lucy in his lap and Lia on his side, building a large castle out of pink Lego blocks for their barbies and ninja turtles. Everyone was still in their pajamas and still had sleepy eyes, and for some reason, it made her feel complete inside, like everything was finally the way it was supposed to be.

She wanted to take a picture, to remember how pure and beautiful life could be. The way the girls looked up at Jesse in admiration. The way he looked at them adoringly. Their sleep-tousled hair and his slight stubble. Their sweet little giggles and his sincere smile. God, his smile. It was so genuine and loving. She could just _see_ how great of a person he was simply from his smile.

She didn't know what time it was – she didn't care – but she knew it was early in the morning. The girls had woken her up, excited as hell that it was finally getting chilly outside. The fall season came late in Louisiana, where the scorching heat stuck around for nearly two months longer than it should have. And not long after the girls woke up, Jesse arrived on her doorstep with hot chocolate for the girls and coffee for Jolie.

It was simply his excuse to see them so early in the morning. He was falling head over heels for Jolie, no doubt, constantly wanting to see her and be around her, but Lia and Lucy had him wrapped around their little fingers as well.

"Look how tall our castle is, Aunt Jo!" Lia called from her spot next to Jesse.

He glanced up at the beautiful blonde at the kitchen table, who was smiling from ear to ear. He was always aware of her presence. Any time she was near him, he could feel her beauty radiating off of her body.

"Wow, I love it," Jolie replied. "Jesse is great at building castles, huh?"

He smiled at her. That gorgeous little weirdo who he found laying in the middle of the aquarium tunnel. The same gorgeous little weirdo who got drunk in the middle of the day with him in New Orleans and kissed him while they were dressed as ninja turtles. He couldn't believe the ridiculous memories they had already made in such a short amount of time.

"I build a pretty mean fort too," Jesse added.

"What's a fort?" Lia asked with a curiously furrowed brow.

"What do you mean 'what's a fort'?" Jesse asked with wide eyes. "Did your Aunt Jo never build a fort with you?"

Lia shook her head, raising her eyebrows at this new creation that she is apparently missing out on.

Jesse looked over at Jolie. "You have got to be kidding me."

Jolie chuckled and shrugged. "Sorry, never got around to it."

"That's it," Jesse stated as he lifted Lucy off of his lap then stood up. "We need lots of sheets and blankets and pillows, immediately. Can you girls handle that?"

Lia and Lucy nodded vigorously, very interested in what was about to happen, then took off down the hall to gather supplies as Jesse had instructed.

"Can I move a few things around so we can build a proper fort for these poor deprived little girls?" Jesse asked teasingly.

"Go for it," Jolie encouraged. Like she would ever say 'no' to that face.

He began moving a few pieces of furniture around, creating a barrier around the living room. The girls hurried back with their arms full.

"We gotta go back and get some more," Lia announced as they dumped the blankets onto the floor then hurried back down the hall.

For the next ten minutes, Jolie sat back and watched as Jesse draped sheets and blankets over the barrier of furniture. He was surprisingly very resourceful when it came to building a fort, using various items to weigh the ends of the sheets down so they wouldn't fall, but also to keep the sheets erect in a tent-like shape.

For the last step, he draped two sheets over the front, clipping them back with clothespins to create an entrance.

"There we go!" Jesse announced as he stood back. "Ladies first! But be careful when you go in, gotta make sure not to pull any of the sheets down."

"Okay!" Lia agreed happily as she slowly crawled through the makeshift entrance. "This is so cool!" She exclaimed, full of excitement and wonder as Lucy crawled in behind her. Jesse climbed in the tent next, nearly as ecstatic as the girls were.

"Come on, Aunt Jo!" Lia called as she stuck her head out the entrance.

"Oh, God, I don't know if there's enough room in there for me!" Jolie laughed.

"There is!" Lia insisted. "Come on!"

"Yeah," Jesse agreed as he poked his head out as well. "Come on, pretty girl! Plenty of room!"

With a smile, Jolie stood from her chair at the table and walked into the living room, where she saw the adorable little trio laying on their stomachs, looking at her through the entrance. She crawled in on the other side of Jesse and turned around to get on her stomach like they were.

Feeling truly happy from being so content with his surroundings, Jesse leaned over and kissed the side of Jolie's head, just wanting to show a simple sign of affection. He'll never know how he managed to go from shooting innocent people in the forehead for his own selfish reasons to building a fort for two adorable little girls in the home of a beautiful woman. But he was glad it happened.

~

Later that morning, Jesse was hard at work, staining a small beech wood coffee table when Coop entered the shop.

"Off to an early start this morning?" Coop asked as he set down his coffee mug and newspaper on his desk.

"Yes sir," Jesse answered. "Wanted to finish up this table real quick so we can get started on those teak wood chairs."

"Atta boy," Coop responded as he began sorting the pieces for the chairs. "Saw you coming out of Jo's early this morning."

Jesse glanced up, trying to gauge Coop's expression and determine the purpose for his sudden statement, but he maintained a poker face intentionally to tease the boy.

"Yes sir," Jesse replied cautiously. "I brought the girls some hot chocolate since it was a little cold outside. But... If that's crossing any kind of lines, just tell me, I'll back off."

Coop interrupted him with a hefty laugh. "Ah, jeez, son. I might be old but I'm not blind. I see you and my daughter making eyes at each other."

"Shit, I didn't think we were that obvious. I'm sorry, Coop," Jesse defended.

"No, no," Coop interjected, shaking his head. "I see you two making eyes at each other, but I also see you taking care of my granddaughters, making them laugh and helping Lia with her spelling bee and dressing up like a goddamn ninja turtle just to make little Luce happy. I appreciate things like that."

A smile spread across Jesse's face.

"Now I don't know what's going on between you and Jolie – that's between you two – but I see the way you look at her and it's the way I would want a man to look at my daughter," Coop stated. "Like the sun shines out of her ass and you can't believe you're even allowed to be around someone like her."

"Nailed it," Jesse replied with a chuckle.

"You're good to my girls," Coop pointed out. "Just keep it that way, so I won't have to fire you and kick you out of my house."

Jesse laughed. "Deal."

~

Jolie moved fluidly through her house, taking soft steps and making gentle movements as she picked up random toys throughout the house and turned off all the lights. She took her time, being cautious so she wouldn't may any noise that would wake the girls, as they had been bouncing off the walls most of the night, and finally fell asleep – but not without a fight – about fifteen minutes earlier.

A gentle knock came from her front door. Her eyes glanced at the clock on the wall just as it struck 11:00pm. She figured it was either her parents or Jesse, as she didn't hear anyone rumble up the rocky driveway, but she wondered why they were there so late.

She opened her door to reveal Jesse, who was slightly hunched over, looking guilty, as if he was trying to be quiet to sneak around.

"I'm sorry," he muttered in a whisper. "I know it's late, and I'm sorry, but I just wanted to see you. I can't stop thinking about you, and I just – I just wanted to see you."

She cocked her head sideways at him. "You're drunk."

"Yes," he confirmed simply and honestly.

She stifled a giggle at how cute he was being. "Well, I just got the girls asleep, so we have to sit on the porch."

"No, never mind," he shook his head, feeling sheepish for showing up drunk on her doorstep. "It's too cold outside, I don't want you to get sick. I'll just go back next door."

"I'll make us some hot coffee, it's okay," she laughed. "I'm glad you came over. I just don't want to risk waking the girls up. They were crazy tonight. So we just have to sit on the porch so they don't hear us."

"Yeah, yeah," he agreed, nodding. "Let's do that."

"Okay," she laughed at his drunkenness. "Can you be quiet while I make us some coffee?"

He nodded, placing his index finger over his lips, and she opened the door to invite him inside. He stumbled through the threshold, causing Jolie to giggle ever so softly at him.

"Sorry!" he whispered with raised eyebrows and a smile. He couldn't help but smile at her adorable giggle. Everything about her made him smile. He had been aching to see her all night; he was so thrilled he was finally with her.

She motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen, where she began preparing a pot of coffee.

Unable to stay away from her, he walked up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist from behind as she poured the grinds into a filter. He snuggled into her, resting his forehead against her shoulder, kissing it lightly.

"Mmm," he sighed groggily, feeling pure bliss from her warmth and smell.

She could feel his heart beating in his chest against her back as he hugged her. She tried not to put too much thought into his actions, as she could tell he was significantly intoxicated, but she adored the way he held her and nuzzled into her neck. It turned her on immensely.

The coffee was ready in a matter of minutes and they separated to fix up their mugs with their own helpings of sugar and milk then made their way outside to sit on the steps of the porch.

Jesse sat down first, taking a sip of his steaming beverage in hopes of sobering up before he tried to make a move that was too forward. Jolie sat behind him, a step higher than the one he was on, and he relaxed between her legs, leaning back against her torso.

The coffee warmed the blood pumping through their veins as they sat outside, enjoying the cool air and each other's presence.

Feeling comfortable with showing more affection to him while he was in his drunken state, Jolie kissed the side of his shaved head sweetly a few times, inhaling his natural scent. He leaned into her lips, not able to get enough of her.

"Why are you so drunk?" She wondered, mumbling against his skin.

"Your mother," he laughed. "She gave me a little wine at dinner, y'know, to go with the steak. And it was good, like the best wine I've ever had, I usually hate wine, so I was like 'Yo, I want some more of that.' So we had more. And now I'm drunk."

Jolie giggled cutely. "You got drunk with my mother?"

"Yeah, she taught me how to sew buttons on my clothes," he sighed, putting his mug down and relaxing into her.

Again, she giggled. Jesse glanced up at her, looking at her sweetly as she rested her arms over his shoulders.

"My God," he sighed. His grey blue eyes were fill of adoration. "You are so pretty; how are you even real?"

She smiled humbly down at him.

"I love looking at you," he whispered. "I know I'm drunk, but I think I'm in love with you."

Her heart skipped a beat. Then it fluttered. Then it flipped. Then it raced in her chest.

"And the girls," he added. "God, they're so great. They're so funny and so damn cute and smart. I just love you guys so much."

She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips, resting her free hand on his cheek.

"We love you too," she replied, caressing the facial stubble on his cheek as he leaned into her touch.

"Do you really?" He wondered.

She nodded, smiling to show she meant it.

"If I'm embarrassing myself, don't hold it against me, okay?" He requested.

"Okay," she agreed, though he wasn't embarrassing himself at all. He was doing what he always did; he was making her fall in love with him all over again.


	17. Chapter 17

Crisp orange and brown leaves covered most of the Quinn property as the fall season was in full swing. Regardless of the actual season, most Louisiana days simply felt like summer: hot, humid, and harsh. But the air was cool and light that day since winter was only right around the corner.

Wild giggles erupted from Lia and Lucy as they ran across the yard; Jesse followed close behind, chasing them.

"I'm gonna get you!" Jesse teased, catching up to them just enough to make them squeal, but not enough to actually reach them. "Oh no, you're too fast for me!"

Leaves crunched beneath their boots as they ran. It was a beautiful morning with blue skies and soft clouds that hid the warm sun. Perfect weather always managed to sprinkle good vibes over them and lift their spirits. Life had been so good to them lately, and it showed in their emotions and actions.

"Got you, pretty girl!" Jesse shouted as he scooped Lucy up in his arms, spinning her around. He laughed nearly as much as she did.

"WAIT, I GOT _YOU_!" Lia screamed as she ran full speed toward Jesse, smacking into him and wrapping her arms around his legs.

"Oh no, she got me, Luce!" Jesse feigned pain, causing both of the girls to giggle. "What do I do?!"

Inside the house, Jolie grew curious about the intense laughter she heard, so she peeked out the window to see Jesse holding Lucy like a football as he ran after Lia. Both girls were booming with laughter, and Jesse's smile stretched from ear to ear. God, she loved nothing more than hearing the girls laugh and be happy. It meant so much to her.

Though they hadn't talked much about Jesse's drunken profession of his love for her and the girls, nothing seemed to change between them. And she was thankful for that.

She stepped out onto the porch with a smile on her face then folded her arms across her chest for warmth as she made her way down the porch steps.

"What are you three doing?" She asked as she walked out into the yard.

"Hey," Jesse said quietly to the girls as he put Lucy down. "Let's get, Aunt Jo!"

"Yeah!" Lia shouted. "GET AUNT JO!"

The three of them turned their direction and dashed toward Jolie, who yelped and braced herself as Jesse reached her first, crouched like a football player. Gently, he grabbed her and pulled her to the ground, sending her into immediate fits of laughter. Lucy squealed with happiness as she flopped on top of Jolie and Jesse.

"Wait, me too!" Lia shouted as she leaped slightly into the air and tumbled on top of them.

"Dog pile!" Jesse yelled as Lucy rolled onto the ground, giggling.

The exhilaration had them all doubled over with laughter.

"Jesse, chase us again!" Lia requested as she stood to her feet.

"Oh, God," he breathed, clutching his chest. "I need to quit smoking so I can keep up with you two. You're too fast for me. You're like the fastest kids alive."

Lucy stood up as well, grabbing Jesse's hand in an attempt to help him up.

"Oh, thank you, sweet girl," he said as he took her hand and sat upright, acting like she helped pull him up.

As he stood to his feet, he turned to Jolie and held out a hand for her, which she happily took, and allowed him to help her to her feet. He turned his back to her and crouched down.

"Get on," he said, motioning for her to get on his back.

"No way," she refused as she pulled dry leaves from her hair. "I'm going to break your back."

"Oh, shut up," Jesse teased. "Just get on."

Jolie jokingly huffed and reached forward, putting her hands on his shoulder to brace herself as she silently counted to three then hopped onto his back, immediately wrapping her arms around his neck. To secure her, he tucked his arms under her legs.

"Alright girls," Jesse began. "Start running!"

The girls took off, running full speed ahead, laughing for seemingly no reason. With Jolie on his back, Jesse took off after them; it wasn't long until they were giggling as wildly as the girls were. It was a picture perfect moment of pure happiness and bliss.

~

"They're both asleep already," Jolie stated quietly as she walked into the kitchen, where Jesse was opening a bottle of white wine as she had requested before she went to check on the girls.

"We wore them out today," he laughed, pulling two wine glasses out of the cabinet.

"Thankfully," she replied. "I have to get their adoption papers filled out tonight. And you have to help me."

"You're officially adopting them?" He asked as he poured an appropriate amount into each glass.

She nodded with a smile. "It won't go through for a few months – it's a long process – but since I'm already their legal guardian, everything should go smoothly."

"That's great, Jo," he said as he handed her a glass then raised his. "To my favorite three ladies."

"And to two of those ladies falling asleep early," she toasted, raising her own glass.

Jesse chuckled and clinked his glass against hers. He leaned his back against the counter as they both sipped their wine. They had spent the whole day together, playing house and flirting. He tried to keep his hands to himself when the girls were around, mostly because he didn't want to confuse them, but now that they were finally alone, he placed his free hand on her hip then gently pulled her to him. She smiled, putting her free hand on the back of his neck as he leaned down and kissed her.

She ran her fingers through the back of his short hair as he blindly placed his wine glass on the countertop then brought that hand to the back of her neck at her hairline. His tongue traced her bottom lip, and he could taste the wine on her breath as her tongue met his.

She sighed into the kiss, pushing her hips forward into his.

When blood began rushing between Jesse's legs, he pulled away from the kiss, wanting to remain a gentleman.

"Mmm," he sighed, pressing his forehead to hers. "I've been dying to kiss you all day."

"I know," she replied. Cutely, she rubbed her nose against his, giving him a quick Eskimo kiss.

"Let's get that paperwork done before we get too drunk," he suggested, grabbing his wine glass.

"Good idea," she replied with a nod, moving away from him and taking another sip from her glass.

He picked up the wine bottle and walked into the living room then sat down at her desk while she grabbed the paperwork from a folder in her file cabinet.

She placed the folder on the desk then Jesse took her hand and pulled her down into his lap. She adjusted herself comfortably on his thighs then took out a pen and began reading through the paperwork.

Suddenly, he noticed a big heart-shaped cut out in her sweater that exposed the middle of her back, which had been hidden under her jacket all day.

"I have to write all this stuff about myself, and their home life, and the people they'll often be exposed to at home, so I'm going to put your name down as fictive kin. Is that okay?" She asked him.

"What's that mean?" He wondered, eyeing her exposed flesh.

"It says 'anyone not related by birth or marriage who has an emotionally significant relationship with the child,'" she explained. "I was just going to put your name down so when the social worker stops by for home visits, she won't be thrown off by some guy living above my parents garage."

"Oh, yeah, of course," he replied, taking a sip of wine.

Though he was supposed to be helping her, Jesse was too distracted by the temptation to touch the exposed sun-kissed skin of her back. To make matters worse, he quickly realized that the uncovered skin indicated that she wasn't wearing a bra. And with that thought, his mind went blank.

"Should I write something about how I've been taking the girls to see that therapist in Baton Rouge and how she says that they're showing less signs of PTSD and more signs of improvement?" Jolie wondered. "That would look good to a judge, right?"

"Mmhmm," he mumbled as he took a sip of his wine and began slowly tracing the outline of the heart-shaped cut out with his index finger, in love with the softness of her skin.

The feeling of his fingers up and down her back sent the best chills down her spine, tingling every nerve on the way. She stopped writing for a moment, struggling to keep her composure. Eventually, she continued writing, finding his affection comforting.

He finished off his glass of wine with a big sip, and as he leaned forward to place the empty glass on the desk, he kissed the bare skin of her back.

"Do you think Lucy's refusal to talk will look bad to a judge?" She wondered, trying to keep her mind on the paperwork, which proved to be difficult with Jesse's lips on her back.

Though he couldn't see, she smiled as he continued to place little butterfly kisses on her skin, unable to form words to respond to her question. He rested one of his hands on her lower stomach over her sweater and the other on her lower hip, mindlessly caressing her denim-covered area with his thumb. She loved how gentle he always was with her, like he was afraid to hurt her, so cautious with his affection.

Everything about Jolie was driving him wild. He only had one glass of wine, so he knew he wasn't acting out of intoxication. She was truly, genuinely making him lose his mind as she sat in his lap, braless and smelling incredible, with the softest skin he's ever felt.

"Did you hear me?" She wondered, closing her eyes at the overwhelming feeling of his touch.

Again, he couldn't respond, as his lips were attached to her back, kissing all the bare skin in the heart-shaped cut out of her sweater. He was focused on covering every speck of her exposed flesh in kisses.

He had no intention of being this forward with her, as he never wanted to cross any boundaries or force anything to happen too soon, but he no longer had control over his actions as he loved on her.

"Jesse?" Her voice was faint as she tried to get his attention. She was putty in his hands and she knew it.

"I'm sorry," he sighed as he pressed his forehead against her back. "I'm so turned on I can't see straight."

She understood. She felt the same way, causing a sultry smile to appear on her lips as she leaned back into him, closing the space between their bodies. He moved her hair to one side and his lips quickly found her neck, kissing as much as he could reach, trailing from below her ear to the top of her spine.

A content sigh escaped her lips. Jesse's hand slipped under her sweater, feeling her inhale from his touch as it moved upward along her abdomen until he felt her bare breast in his hand. He groaned against her neck, feeling tightness in his jeans as he gently squeezed her firm breast.

Just as his hand slipped between her denim-covered thighs, Lia's voice rang out.

"Aunt Jo!" She cried from their bedroom.

Jolie groaned with frustration, rolling her head back against Jesse's shoulder. He laughed a little, unable to be mad at the situation, even as he removed his hand from under her sweater.

"Maybe she'll go back to sleep if I pretend like I didn't hear her," Jolie said.

"Aunt Jo!" Lia called again, louder and more panicked.

"Go check on her, babe," Jesse encouraged, kissing her ear lobe. "It's okay."

With an irritated sigh, Jolie rose to her feet and walked toward the hallway to the girls' room.

Jesse rubbed his face, pulling himself together. Though there was still slight friction in his pants, his clouded thoughts finally began to clear.

He picked up the wine glasses and bottle of wine and brought them into the kitchen, where he washed out the glasses and put the bottle in the fridge then grabbed a bottle of water, taking big gulps to cool himself off.

He leaned against the counter, thinking about what just happened with a clearer mind. He didn't really know if/how things would change between them after they had sex, so maybe it was a good thing they were interrupted; maybe they shouldn't be reaching that point just yet. It wasn't like he didn't want it – he very obviously wanted it – but he wanted to be smart about his relationship with Jolie. But they hadn't really even established a relationship or voiced their concerns and expectations yet. So far, there were only lots of flirting and touching and a few kisses.

The attraction was there, and it was evident, but it wasn't that simple. She had the girls, and he had his past. There were many other things and other people to consider than just themselves.

Jolie returned a few minutes later, stopping in the kitchen when she realized Jesse had moved locations. A part of her was disappointed that he wasn't waiting for her at the desk, ready to pick up where they left off, but the mood had been completely ruined, so she didn't blame him.

"She okay?" Jesse wondered as he saw the beautiful, flustered girl.

"Yeah," she answered softly with a nod. "Just a nightmare. Sorry."

"Don't apologize for that," he insisted as he took her hand and pulled her closer to him. "It's not a big deal. I'm just glad she didn't come looking for you while my hand was up your shirt."

She chuckled. "Me too."

He lifted her hand to his mouth then kissed her fingers. "I think that was a sign that we shouldn't rush it though. I don't want you to do something you might regret."

She cocked her head sideways at him, narrowing her eyes as she pulled her hand away. "Why would I regret anything with you?"

He shrugged as he dropped his own hand, reminded that she truly had no idea who she was getting involved with.

"I really enjoy spending time with you. I don't want things to change between us," he admitted.

"Sex is not going to change anything in a negative way. Not for me, at least," she responded.

"I just –" he sighed. "Look, I meant what I said the other night when I was drunkenly pouring my heart out to you. But I don't know what to do from here. I feel like so much is at stake. We have to be careful."

"I know," she agreed as she placed her hand on his chest, feeling the exact same way. "Jesse, I like the way we've been doing things. We're happy, and the girls are happy. Let's not try to fix it if it's not broken, okay? We'll figure out the rest along the way."

He nodded, agreeing with what she was saying. There was no reason to rush into anything serious. Especially not when the girls were involved. She was right; their best option was to keep things the way they were and figure the rest out along the way.

Though she meant what she said, she had a hidden agenda in not wanting to make anything official or too serious, leaving room for Jesse to have an out in case he realizes it's too much to get involved with someone who technically has two kids.

But he was already in too deep to turn around and walk away.


	18. Chapter 18

The atmosphere of the Coop and Linda's house was vibrant on the morning of Thanksgiving.

Lucy and Lia sat on the coffee table in pretty fall dresses, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the TV in front of them, with happiness and excitement written all over their faces. Their little legs dangled over the side of the table and their eyes sparkled at the beautiful sights on the screen.

Jolie sat on the couch behind them, wearing a navy blue dress sweater dress, with her hair and makeup all done up for the day, watching the parade as well. She sipped on a cold mimosa with strawberries as she relished in the joyful atmosphere.

Coop sat at the kitchen table, watching a Thanksgiving Day football game on a small TV they brought into the kitchen. He groaned at the screen, disgruntled by the referees call on the game. He didn't really care who won or lost, but getting mad at a football game was a part of their Thanksgiving tradition.

Jesse stood next to Linda in the kitchen, holding the turkey upright while she basted and stuffed it. The slimy raw bird suddenly slipped right out of his grip. It hit the pan with a crash, nearly sliding right off and onto the floor, but in one swift movement, Jesse blocked the pan from moving and put his hands around the turkey. With wide eyes, he looked at Linda who had raised eyebrows. When their eyes met, they broke out into a fit of laughter.

"That would've been some shit, huh?" Jesse joked, knowing he would've been in deep shit if he had ruined the main part of their lunch.

"Coop would've been frying _your_ ass if you had dropped that turkey!" Linda teased.

Jesse chuckled, loving the sense of family togetherness that he felt that day. There had been many times when he enjoyed feeling like he was a part of their close-knit family, but this was the first real holiday he was spending with them, and it felt very special.

He wondered if maybe he would've had family experiences like these if he hadn't fucked up so bad when he was younger. But it didn't matter now. This was his second chance. And he was _not_ going to fuck it up.

Around noon, the family sat down at their respective spots at the table, surrounding the mass of warm delicious food that rested in front of them.

"Before we get started, why don't we go around the table and say what we're thankful for this year? We've had a busy year, a lot of ups and downs, so I think it'd be a good idea to throw some positivity into it," Linda declared.

"That's a great idea, Mom," Jolie agreed.

"Okay, I'll start," Linda began. "I'm very thankful for my beautiful family, and for the strength that God gave us to get through a very rough time. And I'm very thankful that the six of us are able to sit here together, happy and healthy."

Everyone smiled, sharing the sentiment.

"Lia, would you like to go next?" Linda asked.

"Okay!" Lia peeped in her typical enthusiastic voice. "Hmm! I'm thankful for all this yummy food..." Her little eyes focused as she thought about the things she was thankful for. "And I'm thankful for recess at school, and I'm thankful for art class! Oh, and I'm thankful for Grandpa Coop, and Grandma Lin, and Jesse, and Aunt Jo, and Lucy – you know, my family! Wait! I'm thankful for my new dress too!"

Everyone chuckled at the various things she was gracious for.

"Lucy, your turn!" Lia announced.

Lucy smirked and pointed cutely at the big turkey in the middle of the table.

Everyone laughed, again sharing the sentiment of being thankful for the turkey.

"I'll go next," Jolie spoke up. "I'm very thankful for the unconditional love and support that my parents have always shown me, and I'm very thankful for the wonderful new addition to our family," she smiled at Jesse. "But mostly, I'm thankful for Lucy and Lia, who brought even more brightness and happiness into my life than they did on the day they were born."

The two little girls smiled sweetly at their aunt. Though they didn't understand the true meaning behind her words, they liked that she was thankful for them specifically.

"Jesse, would you like to go next?" Linda asked.

"Sure," he nodded with a smile, knowing it was time to show his gratitude. "I have a lot to be thankful for this year," he said honestly.

"I'm thankful to Coop for giving me a job that I didn't deserve and for showing me how to create something beautiful with my hands. I'm thankful to Linda for going out of her way to set me up in the guest room and for feeding me amazing meals. And I'm thankful to both of you for giving me a place to live."

Coop nodded in acknowledgement as Linda smiled, thankful for his gratitude toward them.

"I'm thankful to Lucy and Lia for letting me dress up with them on Halloween and build forts and castles with them." He winked at the girls. "And I'm thankful to Jolie for bringing me outside in the eye of the hurricane and for always showing me how beautiful and crazy life can be."

She smiled at him softly, feeling a lump in her throat at his genuine appreciation.

Jesse sighed. "But more than anything, I'm thankful to your family as a whole, for taking me in and allowing me to be a part of this incredible family. I didn't even know this kind of love existed until I met you guys. And you've made me a better person. So, thank you."

Linda placed a hand over her heart, feeling it ache for the sweet boy. She stood up and made her way over to him then hugged him tight.

"We are so lucky to have someone like you in our family," she said softly to him.

"Thank you," he replied.

Linda resumed her seat as Jolie blinked away a few tears away at his kind words. She was proud to be a part of her family and so glad that they were able to make such an impact on Jesse's life, as he had made one on theirs too.

"Ah, jeez, kid," Coop teased. "How am I supposed to follow that?!"

Everyone chuckled.

"Let me just say this, son," Coop sighed. "You brought light back to this family during a very dark time. And I know I speak for all of us when I say we're as thankful for you as you are for us."

"Absolutely," Linda agreed.

"In addition to that, I am thankful for my incredible chef of a wife, who puts up with me day in and day out. I'm thankful for my selfless daughter, who never fails to make me proud. And I'm thankful for my beautiful granddaughters, who keep me young and brighten my days," Coop concluded. "And I am starving, so let's eat!"

~

After lunch, Jesse, Lia, Lucy, and Coop all moved to the living room to watch the Thanksgiving Day specials on TV while Jolie and Linda did their usual cleaning routine of putting away all the leftovers, washing the dishes, and wiping down the table and countertops.

When they were done, Linda retreated to the bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes and Jolie made her way into the living room, where it was awfully quiet.

She first laid eyes on her father, who sat in his usual spot on the couch, asleep and halfway snoring. Lia sat on the other end of the couch, curled up watching the TV, but with sleepy eyes.

Then she saw Jesse, who was holding Lucy as she slept on his shoulder with her face buried in his neck. One of his arms rested under her bottom to hold her up comfortably while he sunk back into the couch. His eyes were adorably heavy, as his full stomach from their delicious lunch made him want to nap like everyone else.

Jolie's heart did its usual flutter at the adorable sight. She was so appreciative of how close he had gotten with the girls, and she cherished how much Lucy adored him. It only heightened her love for him.

She walked over to the back of the couch where she gently placed her hand on his head, caressing it dotingly, then she bent down and placed a soft kiss on the other side of his head right above his ear.

"You're incredible," she whispered to him then placed another kiss on his ear. "I am so thankful for you today."

He glanced up at her sleepily and smiled then pressed his lips to hers gently. "Not as thankful as I am for you, pretty girl."


	19. Chapter 19

Silence overwhelmed Jesse as he stepped outside the front door of Coop and Linda's house and made his way across the yard to the shop. For the first time since he had arrived on the Quinn property, he felt alone. And that's because he _was_ alone.

Jolie was dropping the girls off at school, Linda had gone to the grocery store, and Coop was out delivering finished pieces to customers. And the lack of their presence was tangible as Jesse looked around, feeling uncomfortable with the empty environment.

The weather was warm that winter day, warranting Jesse to only sport a light t-shirt on top of his jeans instead of a long-sleeve shirt and jacket, which were typically needed. He noticed that Louisiana had sporadic days that felt like summer, despite the fact that it had been near freezing only a couple days earlier.

He walked into the shop and sat at Coop's desk in his swivel chair, logging onto the computer to work on invoices, as they had no upcoming projects to work on that day. Even though it wasn't his favorite thing to do, he knew that taking care of invoices would help Coop out tremendously.

But it didn't take long for Jesse to find himself spinning in circles in the computer chair – something Coop 'fussed' at him for numerous times. His attention span had run out. He was bored – simply bored without a single Quinn around.

Which is why his eyes lit up when he heard a car coming up the gravel driveway.

Still in the swivel chair, he rolled himself over to the side of the garage door, where he could get a good peek at who was home but still be hidden so he didn't seem desperate for company.

He perked up as he watched Jolie climb out of her 4-Runner, clad in a casual short-sleeve dark purple dress that cinched around her waist. The flowy bottom half of the dress came midway up her thigh, and she wore brown riding boots, showing off just enough of her toned legs to make Jesse's heart race.

Her hips swayed with the dress as she climbed the steps of her front porch, oblivious that she was being watched. But Jesse couldn't take his eyes off of her. She had an air of confidence about her when she walked. He was drawn to her, like usual, like a magnet to metal.

When she disappeared inside her house, Jesse took a deep breath to shake his heavy thoughts. He glanced over at the computer, wondering if he should just stay in the shop and finish the invoices. But the temptation was too much for him, so he set off toward Jolie's house.

He knocked on the door gently a few times, but heard no response, so he opened it slowly.

"Jo?!" He called so he wouldn't startle her.

Her heart smiled at the sound of his voice. "In here!"

Jesse shut the door gently behind him then followed the sound of her voice through the kitchen and barely into the hall where he saw her putting clothes into the washing machine. Quietly, he walked up behind her then snaked his arms around her waist from behind.

"Good morning," he muttered as he kissed her cheek.

"Good morning to you too," she said with a smile as she started the washing machine then turned around in his arms to face him. She immediately smelled his subtle cologne, which had quickly become the sexiest thing she had ever smelled before.

He smiled at her sweetly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She nearly melted as he stared into her eyes, completely vulnerable to his gaze. He leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips. She kissed back instantly, feeling her entire body relax in his arms.

It all started out innocent, but when Jesse's hands slid from her back to her hips, gripping them softly and pulling her lower half closer to him, everything immediately became more sensual. Their insides intensified, and blood began flowing to all the right places.

For a brief second, she worried that one of the girls would come running down the hall at any moment and question what they were doing. But then she realized they were at school already. In the next brief second, she worried about her parents seeing them, as the view of her laundry area was visible from the side door window. Then she remembered they were out too.

Maybe it was the fact that they were home alone, maybe it was the fact that they were on the entire property alone, but something made her want him right then and there. She worried that it was the only chance they would **ever** have to be alone, and a sense of desperation built up inside of her.

She sighed into his mouth, which made him twitch in his pants as he stiffened. In response, he moved his hands from her hips to her face, where he cupped her jaw, feeling the urge intensify from her end. Her hands slid from behind his neck to his waist, where she began to undo the buckle of his belt.

The feeling of her hands that low made Jesse pull away from the kiss with a smack. He immediately looked down at her hands, immensely turned on by the sight of her starting to undress him. He kissed her again then pushed his hips forward into hers, shoving her back up against the washing machine. His lips flew from her mouth to her neck once she got his belt undone, and she tilted her head back, allowing him better access.

His tongue flicked subtly on her soft skin between his kisses, eliciting a delicate moan from her throat. She could hardly concentrate on unbuttoning his jeans as his lips trailed up to her jaw, just beneath her ear. When she finally unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, he briefly removed his lips from her neck then gripped her butt and lifted her up, setting her down at the edge of the washing machine.

She cupped his face, pulling it to hers and kissing him roughly, pushing her tongue into his mouth. His hands ran up her smooth legs and underneath her dress as their tongues danced. He slid his hands to her backside, where he fingered the edge of her underwear and noticed that she was wearing a thong. He moaned with pleasure into her mouth, tugging on the thin material.

She lifted herself up slightly so Jesse could slide her underwear off. He pulled them all the way down her thighs then slipped them over her boots and threw them to the side before he reattached his lips to hers. Clumsily, he pushed his own underwear down, along with his jeans, and the clothes fell to the floor around his ankles.

A shared sense of urgency caused them to bypass any typical foreplay to not waste any time. Their moment alone would likely not last very long.

Jesse moved between Jolie's legs and pushed up her dress to get it out of his way, causing her to slightly shiver at his touch. Cautiously, he looked up at her, suddenly very aware of what was about to happen.

"You're on the pill?" He asked.

"Yeah," she confirmed, nodding her head.

"Are you okay?" He continued, wanting to make sure she was fully on board with what was about to happen.

"Very."

With her approval, he lined himself up at her entrance. They both watched as he slowly pushed himself inside of her, extending slightly upwards due to the taller height of the washing machine. Though they didn't spend time exploring each other's bodies, she could tell he was of impressive size as he struggled to slide the rest of his length into her. The thought made her eyelashes flutter.

Jesse nearly passed out at the feeling of her tightly around him as he throbbed completely inside of her. He knew she was tiny, but he didn't expect her to be so tight.

He glanced up at her, to make sure she was still okay. When his grey blue eyes met her bright green ones, his body and mind began to move involuntarily.

He kissed her roughly with his hands splayed on her hips, underneath her dress, to hold her steady as he began pumping into her. She ran her hands under his shirt, resting them on his bare sides to steady herself as he picked up his pace.

Overwhelmed by the feeling, he broke away from her lips, but pressed his forehead into her neck to maintain closeness.

"Fuck," he exhaled, worried his knees would buckle from the pleasure.

A familiar tingling sensation began building in the pit of Jolie's stomach, quicker than it ever has before. She bucked her hips to meet his thrusts as best as she could, mostly restricted by the surface of the washing machine, which was vibrating beneath her. Jesse shut his eyes, reveling in the feeling of her gyrating with his hands on her hip as he held her steady.

A soft moan left her lips; the feeling intensified every time he slammed into her. She couldn't remember the last time she had desperate quick sex that felt _that_ good. Usually quickies bored her and she rarely got satisfaction from them, but this time, she was aching to orgasm.

Her entire body tensed up as she felt the impending climax get closer. Her hands squeezed his bare sides, and Jesse maintained his quick pace, able to read through her body language that she liked what he was doing, which made him throb inside of her.

As the burst of pleasure exploded throughout every inch of her body, she threw her head back, causing Jesse to hold onto her neck tighter to keep her steady. Her back arched as her torso rolled with the waves of her orgasm. Her loud moans rocketed through her house as her vision blurred and her mind shut off.

The sights, sounds, and feelings of her orgasm sent Jesse over the edge. Hearing her whimper in delight, feeling her muscles pulsate in waves around him and her hands grip his sides, seeing her hips buck uncontrollably against him.

He pulled her closer, pressing his face into her neck as he slammed into her until he was hit with his own orgasm. He grunted into her neck, unloading inside of her as fireworks of bliss went off in his body.

His body finally relaxed as they both panted, trying to catch their breath as they came down from their euphoric highs.

Jolie caressed the back of his head affectionately then leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head as he breathed heavily into her neck. He stayed like that for a moment, limp inside of her, trying to steady his heartbeat.

Just as soon as his heart rate slowed to it's normal pace, it sped right back up again at the sound of a car coming up the gravel driveway and parking right in front of her house.

"Oh no," Jolie muttered as Jesse's head shot up.

He quickly pulled out of her then helped her off of the washing machine. She scrambled to find her panties as he pulled up his pants and underwear in one swift movement.

It wasn't like there were any apparent signs outside that informed everyone that they had just had sex, but for some reason, they felt like they were about to get caught, like it would be blatantly obvious that they had just had quick, dirty sex on top of her washing machine.

Glancing out the window stealthily, Jolie saw her mother getting out of her car, holding a bag of groceries and walking up the steps of her front porch.

"It's my mom," she whispered. "She's coming in the front door."

"Okay, I'll go out the side door," Jesse concluded as he headed to said door.

Mid-step, he stopped dead in his tracks and quickly turned around then grabbed Jolie's face and kissed her passionately – a little way to let her know he didn't really **want** to leave. Her mind was still blank as he broke away and turned back around then went out the side door, just as Linda was entering the front door.

He moved quickly to the garage next door, knowing that Linda probably would've thought nothing of him hanging out with Jolie, if they could've acted totally normal, but they both panicked, thinking their rendezvous would be evident to anyone who simply _looked_ at them.

As he showered away the evidence, he couldn't help but smile, replaying the last twenty minutes in his mind over and over again. Sure, it wasn't what he wanted their first sexual encounter to be like, not even close, but it was certainly one to remember.

~

At dinner that night, Jesse stared at his plate, pushing his peas around in circles, mixing them into his mashed potatoes. His thoughts were too clouded to eat, especially when Jolie was sitting directly across from him at the table.

"...and we're going to make posters, big posters with lots of colors, and we're going to hang them up all over school," Lia rambled to her grandparents about an art showing at her school.

Jesse and Jolie hadn't spoken one time since their escapade that morning. But she hadn't left his mind. Not once. All he could think about all day was what happened on top of her washing machine.

"Well that's great, Lia," Linda encouraged. "What are you going to draw on your poster?"

He was trying so hard to keep his thoughts pure as he sat at the table, surrounded by her family. Not that they knew anything. He just felt wrong thinking about the way her thighs felt as he ran his fingers up her legs and the way she watched as he slid into her.

"I haven't decided yet," Lia answered her grandmother. "Maybe a big tree or somethin'."

He tried to push his carnal thoughts to the back of his mind, but he couldn't stop thinking about the way she threw her head back when she came and the way her moans echoed throughout her house.

He shifted in his seat then glanced up at her. Her eyes flickered over to his. They didn't utter a single word, but their eyes said it all.

Simultaneously, smirks appeared on their faces, and he instantly knew that she was thinking about the same thing he was. The washing machine.

Even though they hadn't talked about it yet, it was clear that neither of them were worried nor upset about what happened that morning.

In fact, it seemed to be quite the opposite, as neither of them could think about anything else.


	20. Chapter 20

Lucy sat on the bathroom counter, dangling her little legs over the edge as she pressed her lips together and put her nose up in the air, refusing to let her aunt help her brush her teeth.

"Lucy, I do not have time for an attitude this morning," Jolie snapped, putting her hand on her hip. "You have to brush your teeth. It's not an option."

The little girl's face didn't change as she stared at her aunt stubbornly.

"Jo?!" Jesse called as he walked through the front door.

"Thank God," Jolie sighed to herself with relief at the soothing sound of his voice. "In the bathroom!" She shouted down the hallway then turned to Lucy. "Will you let Jesse brush your teeth?"

Lucy's face remained unchanged.

"What are you guys doing?" Jesse wondered, appearing in the doorway, smiling at Lucy sweetly.

"She won't brush her teeth," Jolie informed him. "Or let me help her."

Jesse furrowed his brow at Lucy. "When did you turn into a teenager?"

"Exactly," Jolie huffed then handed the toothbrush to Jesse. "Here. I have to get dressed, plus she likes you more."

Jesse chuckled as she kissed his cheek then walked out into the hallway. With a sigh, he moved over and stood in front of the little blonde girl, who he noticed looked more and more like her beautiful aunt each day.

"Ahh," he sang, opening his mouth wide, hoping she would imitate him with ease.

Lucy simply stared at him.

"Come on, Lu, open up," he encouraged sweetly, holding the toothbrush up to her mouth.

No response.

"Why don't you want to brush your teeth, pretty girl?" He wondered.

She continued to stare. His lips pursed.

"Does your mouth hurt or something?" He asked.

She shook her head in response. He narrowed his eyes at her as the wheels in his brain turned, wondering if she was going through terrible threes instead of terrible twos.

"I'll give you five bucks if you let me brush your teeth," he challenged.

Instantly, her mouth flew open. Jesse let out an enthusiastic laugh as he put toothpaste on her toothbrush, cupped her jaw, and began brushing her small teeth.

When he was done, he gave her a small cup of water to rinse out her mouth as he washed the toothpaste off of her toothbrush. When he helped her off of the counter, she stared up at him, waiting.

"Oh, right," he remembered, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket then pulled a five dollar bill out. He went to hand it to her but pulled it away quickly before she could take it. "Put it in your piggybank," he demanded then handed it to her.

With the money in her hand, she took off down the hallway and into her room as Lia was coming out with her backpack on her back.

"Jesse!" She exclaimed, surprised and excited.

"Hey sweet thing," he greeted, ruffling her hair. "Where's Aunt Jo?"

She shrugged simply as she walked into the bathroom, where she compliantly began brushing her teeth.

Jesse walked through the hallway, eyeing the washing machine and smirking to himself as he passed it. Though they still hadn't discussed their brief – yet intense – sexual encounter, it was obvious that things hadn't changed between them. He expected things to maybe get a little weird between them, or maybe even a little more regularly sexual, but nothing was significantly different. And he was thankful for that. He didn't **want** anything to change.

He entered the kitchen to see Jolie picking up the dirty dishes from the table from the girls' breakfast.

"Do not tell me she let you brush her teeth," Jolie baited. "That little shit."

He smiled. "It cost me five dollars."

A laugh escaped her lips. "Whatever works."

The house phone rang, causing Jolie to let out a groan as she had her hands full with dirty dishes.

"Answer it," Jesse said as he took the dishes from her. "I got these."

She smiled appreciatively as she walked over and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" Jolie answered. "Oh, hi! I'm doing great, how are you?"

Jesse began running warm water over the dishes.

"Today?" Jolie's voice slightly dropped. It wasn't terribly noticeable, but Jesse paid such close attention to every word she spoke that he easily noticed those subtle changes in her inflection.

He glanced over at her, concerned.

"Sure," Jolie continued with faux happiness in her voice. "Four o'clock works. See you then!" She hung up the phone and groaned. "Shit, shit, shit."

Lia gasped as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pencil. "Aunt Jooo!"

"Sorry," Jolie replied to her niece apologetically, who immediately dismissed the 'bad' word and went back down the hallway.

"What happened?" Jesse asked, scrubbing the leftover food off of the plates.

"That was the damn social worker assigned to the girls' adoption case," she sighed. "We had a home visit planned for next week, but she called to ask if she could come this afternoon at four."

"Why's that bad?" He wondered as he put the dishes into the dishwasher.

"I don't have any time to clean up or prepare!" She replied with frustration. "After I drop the girls off, I have a doctor's appointment, then I have a meeting with Lucy's teacher, then I have to pick Lucy up and go to Lia's school for a meeting with _her_ teacher. I'll only have an hour to pick up before the social worker gets here, and there are clothes and toys everywhere!"

Her house wasn't necessarily filthy, but it certainly needed tidying. A clean house would've made her feel much better about the surprise social worker visit.

"Why didn't you just tell her 'no'?" Jesse wondered as he dried his hands off.

"I don't know!" She groaned. "I'm scared to piss her off. She essentially decides if I should be allowed to adopt them or not! I'm so scared to say or do the wrong thing!"

"Babe," Jesse said sternly. He grabbed her face and looked her dead in the eye. "It's okay. The house looks fine. Just relax. She doesn't expect you or the house or anything to be perfect."

Jolie sighed. "I know. I'm just stressed today."

"I know," he replied, frowning. "What can I do to make it better?" He leaned forward, rubbing his nose against hers. She couldn't help but smile, feeling her worries float away as he gave her an Eskimo kiss.

"You're already making it better," she replied, leaning forward, pecking his lips quickly. "But if I'm late getting the girls to school, it will literally make me late for everything else I have to do for the rest of the day, soo I have to go."

He frowned then kissed her softly and quickly then let go of her face. As she turned around to gather her things, he grabbed a clean apple from her fruit bowl and bit into it.

"Girls!" Jolie called. "Let's go!"

Immediately, the patter of their little feet came rushing down the hallway. They ran through the kitchen with their backpacks and blonde hair bouncing around wildly with each step.

"Tell Jesse bye!" Jolie instructed as she grabbed her purse and keys.

"Bye Jesse!" Lia waved as she opened the front door.

With a smile, Lucy waved.

"Bye pretty ladies," Jesse replied with a bite of apple in his mouth. "Have a great day!"

"Okay!" Lia agreed as the two girls ran out the door.

He could hear their little feet stomping down the porch stairs as Jolie turned to him.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "For helping with Lucy and calming me down and being great. You know, the usual."

He smiled then puckered and blew her a kiss with his lips. Though her heart nearly stopped, she mimicked him and blew him a kiss back.

The smile remained on his face even after she shut the door behind her. He still couldn't get over how crazy he was about her. If he could relive his entire life all over again, he wouldn't change a single thing from his past if it still led him to Jolie. He would relive even the shitty horrible parts that he tried to forget. He would even endure worse if he had to, as long as he still found himself in the middle of the aquarium tunnel and day drunk in random New Orleans bars and in the eye of a hurricane, all with her.

~

When Jolie and the girls walked into their house that afternoon, something immediately seemed different. Though it was startling, it didn't feel threatening. Something was just...off.

"Ooh, it's so clean," Lia peeped as she walked into the house in awe in her eyes.

Jolie finally realized what was different. The rooms were much cleaner than they were when they had left that morning. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned the living room and kitchen from her view. All the toys that were strewn across the floor earlier were gone. Random articles of clothing were no longer hanging off the furniture. No dirty dishes were in the sink and the countertops had been wiped down.

But the biggest surprise was the big bouquet of lavender carnations, light purple hyacinths, deep purple orchids, and blueish/purpleish tiger lilies that sat in a clear glass vase in the middle of the clean kitchen table.

"Ooh! Who are those for?" Lia asked with wide eyes as they walked over to the table.

Jolie picked up the little card that was tucked into the flowers. It read: _Pretty flowers for my pretty girls._

"They're for us," Jolie answered with a heartwarming smile, knowing this was the work of Jesse.

"From who?!" Lia wondered.

"Jesse," Jolie answered.

"Wow! I never got any flowers before!" Lia exclaimed with excitement.

Jolie picked up a little piece of paper that was tucked under the vase, instantly recognizing Jesse's handwriting.

_I know the house isn't spotless, but I hope it helps at least a little.  
_ _Remember to take a deep breath and relax. You're going to do great. Just be yourself, and she'll love you. Trust me, I know from experience. :)  
_ _xoxo  
_ _Jesse_

The butterflies in her stomach awoke, fluttering uncontrollably and tingling throughout her body. All the anxiety that flooded her body that day instantly drained out. But she was in shock. How the hell did she deserve having someone like Jesse Pinkman in her life?

"Okay girls, go put your backpacks up and get changed into the outfits that I put on your beds, please," Jolie requested as she folded the note up and put it into her pocket.

Without a protest, the girls obeyed, rushing out of the room to do as they were told then Jolie went through the house, making sure nothing else needed to be done and gathering the paperwork for the social worker.

After the girls had changed, she sent them next door to her parents' house, so that her meeting with the social worker would be uninterrupted and private. They were a little young to understand the full meaning of being adopted, but she tried to briefly explain that they would be able to live with her permanently if everything went well. They were excited about that. And that gave Jolie even more confirmation that she was doing the best thing possible for them.

When the doorbell rang, Jolie's stomach leaped into her chest. She opened the door and was greeted by a tall woman, around 40 or so years old, holding a clipboard and folder. She had light brown hair that was pulled into a low ponytail, and she wore black slacks and a fuchsia button down blouse and had matching pearl jewelry on her wrist, neck, and ears.

"Hi, you must be Jolie," the woman greeted, sticking out her hand. "I'm Gwen, it's so nice to finally meet you."

"Nice to finally meet you too, Gwen," Jolie nervously shook the woman's hand. "Come on in."

Gwen's eyes scanned the room as she walked through the threshold.

"Would you, um, like anything to drink?" Jolie asked, shutting the door behind the woman.

"No, thank you," Gwen politely declined.

"Should we sit at the table in the kitchen? Or we could sit in the living room where it's more comfortable?" Jolie wondered, her voice slightly trembling. She didn't realize how nervous she had gotten. "I'm sorry. I don't really know how these things typically work."

"Just relax," Gwen sympathized, placing a hand on Jolie's upper arm. "I know this is intimidating, but I'm not here to judge you. I'm simply here to get to know you and ensure that you're able to meet the girls' needs." She dropped her hand. "You already have an advantage here since you're their aunt and they've been left in your care. Don't worry."

Jolie exhaled deeply and nodded, appreciating the woman's kind words.

"Do you mind if I take a look around?" Gwen asked. "I need to assess the house and check your smoke detectors and things like that."

"Of course," Jolie replied. "There's one right over here in the kitchen."

Gwen eyed the kitchen carefully. She checked the drawers and cabinets and made sure the sharp utensils and cleaning supplies were out of the girls' reach. Then she checked the smoke detector, which worked fine.

"Is that your father's shop that you wrote about in your autobiography essay?" She asked as she looked out the window while she checked the locks on it.

"It is," Jolie answered truthfully.

"Are the girls allowed in there?" She wondered.

"They are," Jolie replied. "But never alone. It stays locks unless my dad and his employee are in there, and if they are, they're very cautious of the girls being around."

"His employee is the Jesse Pinkman you listed as the girls' fictive kin, right?" Gwen asked.

"Right."

"I assume your father had a full background check done before hiring him?"

"I'm sure he did," Jolie replied, though she didn't really remember her dad saying anything about it. "Jesse's a good guy. The girls love him."

After giving Gwen the rest of the required tour of the house, they took a seat on the couch in the living room, and she interviewed Jolie. The curiosity ranged from what type of childhood Jolie had growing up, to what kind of social life she had, to what kind of prior experience she had with children.

Though Gwen seemed nice enough, Jolie was very glad when the interview was done.

As soon as the social worker's unfamiliar car pulled out of the gravel driveway, Linda and Coop brought the girls back over to Jolie's house, anxious to hear about the interview.

"How'd it go?" Linda immediately questioned as Jolie opened the door for them. The girls immediately took off down the hallway toward their bedroom.

"I think it went okay," Jolie answered, shutting the door behind her parents. "She was nice. It was just nerve-racking."

"Well, good. The house looks good," her mother encouraged.

Jolie chuckled. "Yeah, thanks to Jesse."

"He cleaned your house?" Her mother asked.

"Yep," Jolie answered. "I didn't even ask him to. He knew I was stressed about the social worker coming today, so he just cleaned up for me so I wouldn't have to."

"Oh that boy," Linda cooed, placing her hand over her heart. "He's too sweet."

"Tell me about it," Jolie retorted.

"Ah, jeez, I was wondering what the hell took him so long this morning," Coop joked. "Should've known he was doing something for you. You've got him wrapped around your finger."

Jolie laughed lightly, though she knew it was probably true. "Are you guys okay with that?"

"With what, hon?" Her mother asked. "You and Jesse?"

Jolie nodded in response. "Nothing has necessarily happened," except hot sex on the washing machine. "But I think it's getting to that point. And I just want to make sure you two were okay with that since the circumstances are a little wonky with him living in your house and working for you and whatnot."

"Well, we sort of suspected this would happen sooner or later. But you know how much I adore Jesse. You certainly have my approval," Linda stated simply. "He's so good to you. To all of us."

"What do you think, Dad?"

"I don't mind it," he answered. "I want you two to be smart about it, of course, but your mother's right – he's good to you and the girls and that's the most important part."

Jolie smiled and nodded. He truly was a great addition to their family, in a relationship with her or not. And she was thankful for that fact alone. Though she was beginning to think she was ready for more.

"Oh, Dad, by any chance, did you run a background check on Jesse when you hired him?" Jolie wondered.

"Well, no," he answered. "I didn't plan on keeping him that long at first." He chuckled. "And then when I realized I _wanted_ to keep him, we already knew what a good kid he is. His background doesn't really mean squat to me now."

"Yeah," Jolie shrugged. "The social worker asked earlier, routine question I guess. I told her you did, but I honestly didn't know."

"I can if I need to," he added. "If it helps with the adoption."

"I'm sure she'll run one if she feels the need to," Jolie stated, though she had no idea what those words meant. She had absolutely no idea what would happen if Jesse's record came to light. Though none of his major crimes, like fraud or murder, would be on his rap sheet, the drug crimes would be enough to flip her world upside down.


	21. Chapter 21

"Why did you let me get so drunk on a Wednesday night?" Jolie laughed as she and Jesse slowly walked up the gravel driveway toward her house.

"Pfft," Jesse chortled as he lit a cigarette then blew out the first swirl of smoke. "Like anyone could've stopped Little Miss Queen of Dollar Shots Night."

A girlish giggle escaped Jolie lips. "Stop calling me that!"

"That's what the whole bar was calling you, babe," Jesse teased, throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm too old to be drinking this much," Jolie groaned, resting her head against Jesse's shoulder as they stumbled, trying to walk together.

"A little," he admitted honestly. "You're gonna be a mom soon."

"That sounds soo weird," she pointed out as they walked between her house and her parents' house, where they would likely part for the night. "I had fun tonight though."

"Me too," he smiled at her sweetly, leaning against the side of her parents' garage, watching her light a cigarette as she stood in front of him.

Though he was feeling his fair share of intoxication, Jolie was probably twice as gone. Her stress level had been at an all-time high lately, dealing with all the adoption stuff and worrying about the upcoming holiday – the girls' first Christmas without their parents and her first without her brother – so Linda offered to keep the girls for a night so Jesse could take Jolie out for a little fun.

And her idea of a little fun was getting hammered in a small bar in downtown New Orleans then walking through the Celebration in the Oaks, which was a big event of intricate Christmas lights and Christmas decorations for families to walk through. They walked through together, hand in hand, mostly not saying much, just drunkenly absorbing the holiday spirit.

"I must be sobering up because I'm starting to get cold," Jolie joked, wiggling a little to warm herself up.

Jesse chuckled as he watched her, simply enthralled with her. He always was.

Visible fog from the winter air mixed with swirls of exhaled smoke as they each took long drags of the burning chemical sticks.

Numbness slowly trickled down her fingers from the frigid atmosphere, so she finished her cigarette quickly then tossed it out into the yard. Seeking his warmth, she moved closer to him, sliding her arms around him under his shirt and jacket and laying her head on his chest. He wrapped his free arm around her, and she snuggled into him for warmth.

The feeling of her icy fingertips gave him chills as she caressed his skin softly, along his back then his sides then his stomach. As her cold fingers tingled his warm skin, he flicked his cigarette out into the grass and blew out the last of his smoke. He rested his head back against the side of the garage, snaking his other arm around her to wrap her in a full embrace. His mind was hazy from the intoxication and relaxed from the nicotine, which had him reveling in her gentle touch. She was driving him crazy, but it never took much. She always could get his blood flowing with ease.

He leaned down, kissing her on the top of the head lovingly, lingering as he inhaled her berry shampoo scent.

"I want you," he mumbled into her hair. "Not just now, but always."

She smirked and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Like you had me the other day? All on top the washing machine?"

"Not just like that," he said softly, realizing he didn't mean just sexually. "I want all of you. In every way."

Her face fell, finally understanding what he was saying.

"I'm a package deal now, Jesse," she warned, wanting to stress that their relationship included more than just the two of them being together.

"I know that," he pointed out, fully aware of what he was getting himself into. "I **want** the whole package. You. The girls. This life."

Overwhelmed by the seriousness on his face and the desire in his eyes, she reached up and kissed him. Their lips moved without a sense of urgency. It was an innocent, gentle kiss, without the fiery need to move into sexual territory.

The words had simply flowed out of Jesse mouth with no difficulty. He hadn't even made a conscious decision to tell her that. His entire spiel was involuntary, but he took that as a good sign. It was what his heart, his mind, and his body all wanted. Which is why he spoke the words with ease.

"Stay with me tonight," Jolie sighed delicately when she pulled away.

He pressed his forehead to hers, nodding softly.

~

The sun was just beginning to shine through the window when Jesse woke up the next morning. After his eyes fluttered open, he picked his head up and glanced around him a few times, attempting to figure out where he was. He slightly panicked, very unfamiliar with his surroundings, until his eyes landed on the beautiful sleeping blonde next to him.

He exhaled deeply, relieved at the sight of her, remembering how they drunkenly cuddled, holding each other until they fell asleep. It was so innocent and sweet, nothing sexual or physical about it. And he loved it.

He rolled over onto his side to face her, watching as her chest rose and fell ever so slightly with each soft breath. He propped up on his elbow, resting his head on his balled fist and admiring how the sunlight fell over her, highlighting her beauty. Her angelic face flaunted her dainty features and her body oozed purity. It nearly knocked the wind out of him. He wanted her. He wanted this life.

But.

He didn't deserve her. And she deserved better. He felt the guilt creep up into his stomach. She deserved to know the truth about him, but he was so afraid of the consequences. He'd lose her, Lucy and Lia, his job, and his home. But he didn't know how long he could keep his past a secret.

Each day, it got easier and easier to push his troubled life to the back of his mind. He thought about it less and less, replacing his trauma with the intense love from his new family. But he realized that didn't mean that it went away. It was still there. It was always there. And when he actually thought about it, it haunted him.

His brow furrowed as he watched her sleep, wondering what he had to do. Did he need therapy? Or did he just need to tell her the truth? Or both?

"Stop," Jolie muttered, startling Jesse.

"Shit," he breathed. "I didn't know you were awake."

"How can I sleep with you thinking so loudly?" She wondered with a smirk, opening her eyes slowly.

He smiled. "Sorry."

She looked over at him. "What are you thinking about this early anyway?"

He sighed, pressing his lips together. "You."

"You don't look happy about thinking about me," she pointed out.

"I'm just scared," he admitted honestly, wondering if he was going to blurt out his truth. It was like he could feel it coming. Bubbling up into his throat. Daring to escape his lips.

"Of what, babe?" She questioned, turning over onto her side to face him.

"I'm scared I'm going to ruin everything," he said softly.

She narrowed her eyes at him as she propped up onto her elbow like him. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm in love with you, Jolie," he admitted for the first time sober. "And I feel like any second you're gonna find out what a piece of a shit I am and leave me."

Her brow furrowed and her face fell as she stared at him intensely.

"This is the only part of my life that has **ever** gone right," he explained. "I'm scared I'm going to do something wrong and screw it up."

"Jesse," she sighed, reaching forward and cupping the side of his face lovingly. "You have done everything **right** so far. I don't think you're even capable of doing anything wrong."

He tried to smile at her, wishing she could know how wrong she was.

"But hey," Jolie continued with a smirk. "I'm in love with you too. If that makes you feel better at all."

A smile spread across his entire face. Hearing those words while they were both sober was intense. It was like the red light had finally turned green. But his whole body screamed yellow.

~

That afternoon, as Jolie slept off her hangover, Jesse sat at the kitchen table with Lucy, peeling an orange for her to snack on. The adorable little girl erupted into a fit of girlish giggles when Jesse put the huge orange peel in his mouth, covering his teeth. He crossed his eyes goofily, causing Lucy to nearly double over in laughter. He loved the sound of her happiness.

"Jesse, how do you spell electric guitar?" Lia asked as she walked into the kitchen holding a piece of paper and a pencil.

She stopped dead in her tracks and eyed him wearily when she noticed the orange peel in his mouth.

"Ew, why's that in your mouth?" She asked.

He pulled the peel from his mouth, laughing. "I don't know. It made your sister laugh."

"She laughs at everything you do," Lia pointed out then dropped the subject. "So how do you spell electric guitar?"

He looked at her curiously. "Sound it out, Spelling Bee Champ."

"I tried," Lia sighed as she flopped down onto the kitchen chair next to him. "I couldn't get it. I need help."

He laughed a little at her frustration. "Okay. E-L-E-C-T-R-I-C," he spelled slowly so she could keep up as she wrote each letter. "G-U-I-T-A-R."

"Thanks," she muttered as she continued writing.

"What are you working on?" He asked as he peeled the other half of the orange for Lucy.

"My Christmas list," she answered.

"Oh, God," Jesse laughed. "You want an electric guitar for Christmas?"

Lia nodded. "And a drum set. And a microphone. And a bass guitar. I want to start a band."

He chuckled. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "It's not cute. It's cool."

"Oh!" Jesse stifled his laugh. "You're right. It's cool. But good luck getting your Aunt Jo to buy you all that for Christmas. She's not gonna like all that noise in her house."

"That's why I'm asking Santa and not her," Lia stated matter-of-fact.

"Smart thinking," he encouraged with a wink.

"Thanks," she smiled at him cutely.

He smiled back at her. He loved this life. He had gotten used to living this life with Jolie and the girls and Coop and Linda. He didn't want to give it up. He didn't want it taken from him. But how could he keep lying to them?

They **all** deserved better.


	22. Chapter 22

The day after Christmas, clouds littered the sky, generating a cold and hazy atmosphere over Louisiana. The hidden sun kept its warmth and light as the wind breezed through the trees. The frigid weather kept the Quinns inside for a lazy family day.

Linda hovered over the stove in the kitchen, cooking a hot vegetable soup, while Coop slept on the couch in front of the TV that played a holiday movie. Jesse and Jolie sat on the loveseat, snuggled into each other, halfway watching the movie and halfway watching Lia and Lucy as they sat on the floor playing with their new miniature guitars (bass, electric, and acoustic) and microphones that they received from Santa Claus (along with a mini drum set that is only to be played on when their aunt approves).

It reminded Jesse of their hurricane days, quiet and dark through the house, but the holiday spirit was evident, which made the environment a little happier.

He sat sideways on the couch, with one leg hanging off of the cushions, as Jolie sat between his legs. With one arm wrapped around her waist from behind and her back pressed up against his torso, she rested her head back against his shoulder.

"I could get used to days like this," she said quietly. "This is perfect."

He kissed the side of her head gently in agreement then rested his cheek against her hair, a sign that they were growing more and more comfortable with showing affection to each other around her parents and the girls.

Ever since they had given their relationship the green light, things had been better than ever, which he didn't even think was possible.

But a bad taste still lingered in his mouth at his deceitfulness. It haunted him more and more lately, especially as he and Jolie grew closer. He knew the longer he waited, the worse it would be.

But how do you just blurt out your past as a meth manufacturer and distributor?

Oh, and a murderer.

~

Swirls of smoke from their cigarettes and fog from their breath spun together and floated into the early morning darkness as Jolie and Jesse stood on the porch, sneaking their morning cigarettes. He sat on the railing, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and she stood beside him, facing him, watching his forehead wrinkle with his intense internal thoughts.

Though she was obviously very fond of his looks, it was his golden personality that typically won her over. Yet as she stood there watching him closely, observing every movement he made, she took the time to appreciate his physical attractiveness. His buzzed haircut... His slight facial stubble... His passionate grey-blue eyes... The curve of his soft lips... The subtle little scar below his eye...

"How'd you get that scar?" She wondered softly, pointing below her own eye to specify said scar.

Jesse glanced up at her, a little surprised at her random question. His scars had healed nicely once he escaped and was able to properly take care of them, but he knew the one under his eye was still fairly noticeable. He wondered why she never asked before. Surely she had seen it. But why did she wait until his past was haunting him again to bring it up?

"I was, uh," _beaten and forced to cook meth for a bunch of psycho, racist, white trash criminals_. "in a pretty bad fight a while back."

**Lie.**

She narrowed her eyes at him. "_You_ were in a fight? I can't picture that happening."

He let out a laugh, almost sarcastically, as he looked back down at the cigarette burning between his fingers. He took a long drag, filling his body with smoke and chemicals. How sadistic that he had managed to fool the beautiful blonde into thinking he wasn't even capable of getting into a fight. Not even a fight! When he was more than capable of the _worst_ sin – murder.

He was just bullshitting her. It was all bullshit. And it was messing with his head.

"What's going on? You seem distracted lately," she pointed out somewhat sadly.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, exhaling the smoke and flicking the heightened ashes off of the tip of his cigarette. "I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Jesse," she said firmly. "Is this getting to be too much? Us?"

Quickly, Jesse glanced up at her again. "No." He shook his head. "Not at all."

**Lie.** It _was_ getting to be too much. But not in the way that she meant.

"I need you to be honest with me about this," she persisted, not sure how truthful he was being about the situation. "We've been getting a lot closer, and I know you said you wanted the whole package the other night, but it's okay if you're not sure about it now."

"It's not that. I'm still sure about what I want." His mind raced to pull an excuse out of his ass. "I just... I worry about what I should or shouldn't do with the girls sometimes. I don't know if I should just be their friend or an authority figure or a father figure. I don't want to step on anyone's toes or cross any lines."

**Lie. Lie. Lie.** He always knew what to do with the girls. He knew his place in their life. And he always maintained a respectful type of authority over them.

Jolie frowned. "Please don't worry about crossing any lines. There's no one around whose toes you could possibly step on. Plus you're always so good with the girls; don't think otherwise."

"But I'm not their biological father," he added, completely unsure of where he was going with his words. "I've just never been in this position before."

"If this is too much for you, Jesse, _it's_ _okay_," she reiterated, flicking the ashes off of her own cigarette. "That's why I didn't want us to get serious too quick. I know you needed time to figure out if you were ready for a family or not. I get it. I know it's a lot to ask."

"It's not that," he groaned, rubbing his face. The truth was creeping up from his stomach again. Bubbling up into his throat. Daring to escape his lips. Again.

"Then what is it?" She asked, confused.

"You guys just deserve better," he admitted, throwing his cigarette out into the yard. He could feel it; the truth was coming.

"You're insane," she brushed him off. "Why do you say things like that?"

"Because I'm not who you think I am!" He blurted. And there it was. There was no turning back now.

"What are you talking about?" She questioned with sass.

He let out a sigh. "There's so much about me that you don't know. But... you need to know," he said, leaning his elbows back onto his knees, bracing himself. "I'm just so worried about what's going to happen once you finally know the truth." He pictured her screaming at him and crying and freaking out – but understandably so.

"You're scaring me, Jesse," she admitted as her heart raced in her chest. "Just tell me what's going on with you."

"I don't know how to explain this to you without making you hate me," he stated.

"Just spit it out," she insisted, eager to find out what his rambling was about.

"I used to cook meth."

Jolie's eyes narrowed at him in disbelief. "Shut up." She rolled her eyes then took a drag of her cigarette, brushing him off entirely, annoyed that he got her so worked up and then cracked a joke.

"Jolie," he said sternly to get her attention. "I was involved in one of the biggest drug manufacturing empires in the Midwest."

She stared at him, blowing the smoke out of her mouth and putting a hand on her hip. "I don't believe you."

"Why would I make this up?"

"I don't know, but I don't believe you," she repeated.

"Jolie, I showed the Juarez Cartel how to properly cook meth and had a hand in bringing them down. I cooked for one of the biggest kingpins in the Midwest in an underground meth lab so elaborate that it would make your head spin. And once he was brought down, my partner and I took over and ran one of the biggest empires in the country. I know how to make the most chemically pure meth, and I had a part in manufacturing over 500 million dollars worth of it," he informed her.

She glared at him for a moment, unmoving and emotionless, until she recognized the solemnity on his face. The hand on her hip went limp, falling to her side when she realized he was being dead serious. The color drained from her face. Outwardly, she was still full of disbelief and completely in denial, but deep down, she could tell he was being honest.

"When I tried to quit and help the police, my partner hired a gang of crazy white supremacists to kill me," he said. "But instead they held me captive in this fuckin' hole in the ground and made me cook for them. _That's_ how I got the scar under my eye. They beat me into submission."

Jolie's cigarette fell to the ground, but she didn't even notice.

"I know this sounds insane," he muttered. "And I know it's a lot to take in. But I had to tell you the truth."

She couldn't speak. She couldn't even think straight. Was she dreaming? Was he messing with her? She had no idea what was happening. She could only stare at him with a scared expression on her face as she tried to process what she was hearing.

"Jolie, say something," Jesse breathed as he slid off the railing. "Please."

The pained look on her face made him want to cry. He couldn't tell if he hurt her or scared her or made her angry or all of the above. He went to reach for her, but she backed away from him quickly. His face fell. She was scared of him.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded as he tried to move closer to her. "That's not who I am anymore, you have to know that, but you deserved to know the truth about me."

Suddenly, she didn't recognize him. It felt as if she was staring at a stranger. He had been replaced by a total stranger – someone who was the total opposite of the Jesse Pinkman she knew and loved.

She backed away from him again.

"Babe," he whispered sadly.

She held her hand up to him to stop him from saying anything else or moving any closer to her.

"Get away from me."


	23. Chapter 23

The aquamarine color of the water reflected onto Jolie's face as she laid on her back in the middle of the aquarium tunnel. The crystal clear glass surrounded her as it ran through the large tank of fish and sharks and stingrays and coral. It was her quiet place, her place to think, but her mind was loud and her thoughts were scattered.

"How is this possible?" She whispered to herself as she stared into the blue abyss above her.

After she walked away from Jesse early that morning, confused and frightened to her core, she quickly got the girls off to their winter camp so they could play with their friends over winter break, then fled to the aquarium to think. Only she couldn't straighten out her thoughts.

She didn't know what to do. Should she tell her parents? Should she warn the social worker in case she runs a background check? Was he dangerous? Was her family in danger due to association? Was he **doing** drugs in addition to making and selling them? She figured it was best to talk to him, to get the full story and all the answers to her questions, but she didn't want to be near him.

She felt like she didn't even know him.

And she realized that she didn't. She never did.

Sure, she knew who he was on the inside – she knew who his soul was, and maybe that was all that mattered – but she didn't know anything about his **life**. How had she not questioned his past before? She never even noticed how he didn't talk about his family or where he grew up. And how had she never questioned the many times she found him erratically scared or sad or crying or shaking? She just assumed he had been through a lot and moved to get away from it. But she **never**, not even for a second, thought he was capable of any kind of criminal activity.

She felt stupid. She felt played. And she felt naïve. She had fallen in love with a _drug dealer_. She allowed a _drug dealer_ to play house with her and the girls. It was all too surreal. It felt like a dream.

No. It felt like a nightmare.

Back at the shop, Jesse was busy sanding a long plank of beech wood for a bookshelf he was making with Coop, but his mind was elsewhere. His chest tightened more and more with each breath he took, scared and upset over his encounter with Jolie that morning.

He had accepted his consequential fate, understanding that he deserved whatever happened from there – even if he lost his job, his home, and his new family.

But he couldn't breathe. He needed to talk to her. He told her about his past, but he never got the chance to give his side of the story. He never got the chance to explain what really happened or defend himself or show her that he's changed. Even if she didn't want anything to do with him ever again, he just wanted the chance to prove himself to be different now.

His stomach was in knots and a lump grew in his throat. He wanted to scream.

"Ah jeez, kid. You look like you're about to be sick," Coop noted as he glanced over at his employee. "Don't hurl on the beech wood."

"I'm fine," Jesse insisted. "I won't."

"Jesse, do you know where Jolie is?" Linda asked as she entered the shop suddenly.

Jesse glanced up at the sound of her name. He had been so out of it that he hadn't even heard Linda walk up.

"She didn't come home after dropping the girls off this morning," she explained. "But she didn't say she was going anywhere else. And she's not answering her phone."

For a moment, he wondered why she was worried about her grown daughter not coming home immediately, but he was reminded of the trauma she endured when she lost her son and daughter-in-law in a car accident. The color drained from his face at the thought of her worrying about Jolie being in a car accident.

"I think she, uh, had to run some errands after she dropped the girls off," Jesse answered. Though he wasn't really sure, he knew she was shaken from their conversation, and he figured she was off having one of her midlife crises somewhere.

Linda nodded, accepting his answer, but still looking concerned.

"I'm sure she's fine, Lin," Coop insisted gently.

"I'll let you know if I hear from her," Jesse told her comfortingly.

"Thank you, doll," she replied before she turned around and walked back to the house.

Jesse's heart thumped in his chest. He was afraid his conversation with Jolie would just cause more trouble for the recovering family. They had been through so much already, how could he allow himself to do even _more_ damage to the people who deserved it the least?

~

While Coop was out delivering finished projects to customers, Jesse was outside the shop smoking a cigarette alone. He had gone through nearly an entire pack since that morning, turning into a chain smoker in a matter of hours.

When Jolie's car came rolling up the gravel driveway, his heart began to race in his chest. It was too late for him to run into the shop without looking like he was running away from her like a scared little bitch – despite the fact that he felt like one – but he knew she didn't want to see him. So he just stood there under the tree, smoking incessantly to look preoccupied, trying to play it cool.

She noticed him immediately but ignored him as she exited her car, making sure not look in his direction. But as she walked away from her car, Jesse lost all control over his own body.

"Your mom's been looking for you!" He called over to her, having no control over the words coming out of his mouth. "She's worried!"

She instantly froze as her body filled with anger. Again.

He mentally kicked himself. So much for playing it cool. His gut reaction was just to talk to her. He just wanted to talk to her – to get her attention. It wasn't easy for him to just stay away from her.

She slowly turned around and narrowed her eyes at him then walked over to him like she was on a mission from hell.

"**Who** do you think you are?!" She asked with a loud voice. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from me?!"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Just thought you should know. But I'm glad you can just write me off at the drop of a hat."

Her eyes widened. "The drop of a hat? THE DROP OF A HAT?!"

He groaned and grabbed her arm then dragged her into the shop, where they wouldn't be seen or heard from inside the house, fearful of Linda hearing or seeing the commotion, coming outside, and ultimately finding out about his past.

"Let go of me!" Jolie harshly pulled away from him. "Stay away from me!"

"I can't!" He argued. "I fucking can't! And I don't want to!"

"Well you're gonna have to try! You can't just drop the 'hey I'm a drug dealer' bomb on me and expect me to be okay with it! Especially not just hours later!"

"Well what do you want me to do? I can't change my past, and I needed to tell you the truth!" He argued. "So now what? It's over? Just like that?"

"I don't know! I don't know what I want to do or what I want you to do!" She yelled. "I just need some space, I need to be away from you!"

"Why?! Why can't you just talk to me?!"

"I don't want to talk to you! I want to get as far away from you as possible!"

His face fell at her harsh words as they stung his soul. "...I'm sorry, Jo. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling you."

She sighed. She knew he didn't mean any harm, for the most part. "Just give me some space and some time, Jesse. I don't want to talk until I calm down and have my thoughts straight."

He just looked at her sadly as she turned around and walked away. He didn't want space from her or time away from her. He might've accepted his fate, but he didn't have to be happy about it.

~

Still in a daze of disbelief that evening, Jolie stared at the window as she sat at the kitchen table with the girls, who were both coloring.

"When's Jesse coming over?" Lia asked suddenly as she stopped drawing and glanced up from her paper.

"He's not," Jolie answered simply.

"But he comes over every day," Lia responded.

"Not today, sweetie," Jolie said, looking over at her niece.

"Why not?" Lia wondered. "I like it when he comes over. He's fun and he makes Lucy laugh."

Lucy glanced up, as if she was agreeing with her sister's statement.

"I know," Jolie said sadly. "But he's not coming today."

"Is he mad at us?" Lia questioned, fearing that he didn't want to be around them anymore for some reason.

"No, honey," Jolie insisted. Despite everything she learned about him, she hated the thought of the girls thinking he didn't want to be around them. "He loves y'all. He's just... He's not feeling well."

"Oh," her niece accepted, relieved. "Maybe we can bring him some soup later."

"Maybe so."

After their small argument earlier, Jolie had decided that it was best for the girls to just stay away from Jesse for a while too. She didn't necessarily think he was dangerous, especially not to her family, but she didn't know if she trusted him or not. And she didn't know what she wanted to do about it.

Her mind was just cluttered, angry and confused and upset. She needed a few days for her thoughts to settle down before she talked to him again. She wanted to have a clear, rational mind when they talked, so she could react reasonably and not have a screaming match like they did earlier. So she felt it was best to take a few days to let it all sink in.

But it killed her to be away from him. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed him terribly.

She wanted to believe that Jesse was different now. She wanted to believe that he was _truly_ as good of a person as she thought he was. Why would he be so sweet to her and the girls and her parents if he wasn't?

It didn't make sense to her. But as of early that morning, **nothing** made sense to her anymore.

"Jolie?" Her mother's voice called from the front door.

"In the kitchen!" Jolie answered.

She heard the door shut then her mother appeared in the doorway. "Where have you been all d– Oh, honey, you look whiter than a ghost! Are you feeling okay?"

"Not really," Jolie sighed, unable to put on a happier front.

"What's wrong?" Linda asked as she walked over to her daughter and placed her hand on her forehead to gauge her body temperature. "What hurts?"

"Everything," Jolie answered a little too honestly. She wanted to blurt out that her heart hurt from when Jesse's past shattered it and that her head hurt from trying to comprehend that her knight in shining armor was actually a drug dealer in disguise and that her stomach hurt from being nauseous all day at the thought of Jesse cooking meth for a living.

"You don't feel warm," Linda indicated. "Where were you all day?"

"Running errands," Jolie lied, unknowingly matching Jesse's story. "Sorry, I forgot to let you know."

"It's okay, dear," her mother replied. "Do you think you're coming down with something? I can bring over some cold and flu medicine if you think you're getting sick."

"I'm just tired," Jolie insisted.

"Don't let it get out of hand," Linda warned. "If you think you need to see a doctor, do so immediately."

"I'm fine, Mom," Jolie insisted. "Just tired."

Linda nodded, noting her daughter's dismissal of the topic. "Well how are _you_ girls feeling?" She diverted the attention to her granddaughters.

"I feel great!" Lia answered happily.

"Good!" Linda replied. "How was camp?!"

Jolie tuned out the rest of their conversation as she wondered if she should take the opportunity to tell her mother the truth. Or maybe the truth was too blunt. Maybe she should ask them to run a background check on Jesse. She could say the social worker asked for one then she could act surprised when they find out the truth.

But nothing came out of her mouth. She couldn't say a word about it. Not to her parents. Just like with Lia and Lucy, she couldn't bear to tell her parents the truth. They adored Jesse. And she just didn't want to ruin that for them or for him.

She couldn't help but continue to give Jesse the benefit of the doubt. No matter how disgusted she felt.


	24. Chapter 24

Jolie's eyes were fixated on the steam that rose from the hot tea in the yellow mug in her hands, reminding her of the mixture of the cigarette smoke and foggy breath that always swirled from Jesse's mouth when they smoked. It resembled the same swirly mixture that escaped his mouth the morning prior when he brought his dark past to light.

"Did you guys have a nice Christmas?"

Jolie glanced up as she drifted back to reality. Gwen was sitting across from her at the kitchen table; steam rose from her own mug of hot tea as she shuffled through the papers in her overly stuffed folder.

"We did," Jolie answered with a soft smile. "Did you?"

"I sure did, thank you," Gwen replied.

She had called Jolie last night, wanting to move up their 'scheduled' visit again, which was fine with her since she had all night to clean and prepare – it's not like she could sleep with Jesse incessantly haunting her mind anyway.

"So today's interview is a little more personal," Gwen began. "I ask that you answer all questions honestly, no matter how uncomfortable it might get. You know that I'm not here to judge you. I just want to get a feel for the things you believe in, which gives us an idea of how you will handle different situations with the girls – now and in the future. But there's no real right or wrong answer, okay?"

"Okay," Jolie responded simply.

"Great," Gwen said. "So first, let's get the real personal ones out of the way. How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

"Eighteen."

"And looking back now, how do you view your first time?"

"Fairly standard for two kids who had never had sex before. Awkward and didn't last long," she said with a little chuckle.

A small smile appeared on Gwen's lips as she tried to remain professional but personable. "If you could do it over again, would you?"

"I wouldn't," Jolie shook her head.

"Why's that?"

"I mean, it wasn't an ideal first time, I guess, but it's all a learning experience," Jolie answered, watching as Gwen wrote quickly in her file.

"Well, the main reason I ask these types of questions is to understand how you'll approach the topic of sex with the girls. Your view of sex, which may or may not be greatly impacted by your first time, will ultimately guide their view of sex, so always remember that when discussing it with them," Gwen explained. "Would you say you have a healthy sex life?"

"When I actually have one, yes," Jolie joked.

Again, Gwen cracked a smile, understanding the younger woman's feelings. "How do you feel about being a single mom? Do you think it will change your dating habits?"

"Yes," _apparently it makes me fall in love with drug dealers. "_And no," Jolie answered. "A guy still has to treat me well, be respectful, be able to communicate, et cetera. But that's not the most important thing anymore. My main priority is that my potential significant other treats the girls well and is mindful and respectful of them. First and foremost, that's what matters now. I've never really been worried about being single though, and that doesn't really change whether I'm a mom or not. It doesn't weigh on my mind. I don't fret over finding a husband."

"That's an admirable quality, Jolie," Gwen replied, still writing.

"Thank you."

"Now, tell me about your last relationship," Gwen requested.

Jolie's heart sunk as Jesse's face popped into her mind. "It was beautiful. Everything about it was beautiful." That was all she could say. She quickly realized that Gwen had asked about her _last_ relationship, yet Jesse was the first person she pictured and she spoke about it like it was in the _past_. She wondered if that meant their relationship was over? Or if she at least considered it over? She didn't make a conscious decision that their relationship was over, but her subconscious seemed to.

"Why did it end?" Gwen asked.

A lump tugged on Jolie's throat. "He...wasn't who I thought he was."

Gwen continued writing as Jolie subtly took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She had to focus. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shove Jesse to the back of her mind.

~

Through her kitchen window, Jolie watched as Jesse unloaded piles of lumber from the back of her father's truck. He looked content and focused, which unnerved her since she was a complete wreck nearly all the time now. As he carried heavy planks in his arms, fog from his breath floated and dissipated into the dusk air. A black beanie protected his shaved head from the cold, and a black long sleeve shirt clung to his torso for the same protection.

She was stricken with confusion as she intensely eyed him. He sure as hell _looked_ like the same Jesse Pinkman she's grown to know and love.

But he wasn't.

...Or was he?

She wondered for a moment if she was trying to find a way to somehow convince herself that it was okay to be in love with a drug dealer. Was she still blind to the truth? Or was Jesse truly a different person now?

She knew she needed to talk to him, but how? How do you even start that conversation?

"Look! It's Jesse! He's feeling better!" Lia shouted from the living room, where she was playing with her sister.

The sound of Lia's feet shuffling toward the front door made Jolie freeze, instantly stricken with panic.

"Lia, wait!" She yelled as she darted for the living room, but it was too late. Lia was already running down the porch steps and toward the shop.

Lucy was hurrying to her feet, a few paces behind her overly enthusiastic sister, but Jolie was able to pick her up and prevent her from rushing out the door as well. With Lucy on her hip, she scurried outside to see Jesse scooping Lia up as she threw her arms around his neck.

"I missed you!" She wailed sweetly.

"Aw, I missed you too, sweet girl!" He proclaimed, smiling happily as he wrapped his arms around her small frame, holding her up and hugging her back.

"Lia," Jolie said sternly from the porch steps. "You cannot just run outside without my permission!"

Jesse glanced up at the beautiful blonde. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her, though he was thankful to know his aching heart was still somehow beating in his chest. It was the first time he had seen her in a couple days. She looked sad, like she had been crying a lot, but she was still the most pure and beautiful thing he had ever seen. He knew that would never change.

"Uh oh," Jesse sang as Lia pulled out of the hug and looked at her aunt. He adjusted the little girl on his hip, so he was holding her more comfortably, then began walking toward Jolie's house. "You gotta ask Aunt Jo before you leave the house by yourself so she knows where you are and where you're going. You know that."

"Sorry, Aunt Jo," Lia called as they walked up to the porch steps.

"Don't do it again," Jolie warned as Lucy wiggled out of her arms.

As Jesse set Lia back onto her feet, Lucy bounced down the steps and ran smack into Jesse's leg, hugging it tightly.

"Oh I've been missing you too, Luce," Jesse cooed as he picked her up and tossed her gently into the air and caught her. Little giggles escaped her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

"Come on, Jesse. Come inside," Lia insisted, grabbing the hem of his shirt and attempting to pull him closer to the house.

Jesse glanced up at Jolie, who was staring down at them sadly.

Knowing he was unwelcome inside, he said, "I have to finish up in the shop, Lia. I'm sorry."

Lia's face immediately fell into a frown and she dropped her arms to her side and huffed. "Well can you come over after? You haven't played with us in for_ever_."

Jesse sighed deeply and set Lucy back onto the ground. "I know, I'm sorry. I've just been really busy. But I promise I'll make it up to you soon, okay?"

Lucy simply stared up at him in her usual manner, and Lia nodded simply.

"Come back inside, girls," Jolie said softly, saddened. "It's cold and neither of you have your jackets on."

"Bye Jesse," Lia said quietly before she sauntered back up the stairs.

Lucy waved softly then followed her sister.

Jolie watched as the girls walked past her then went inside. She looked back over at Jesse, who was staring up at her with anticipation. For a brief moment, their eyes met. Through his grey-blue eyes, she realized he was not content. He was hurting, just like she was. It made him seem even more like the same Jesse she knew and loved.

But she still wasn't ready to talk to him. Even the brief encounter was too much for her. So she pressed her lips together, somewhat frowning, then turned to go inside with the girls.

The sound of the door shutting echoed in Jesse's mind painfully. Suddenly, his whole body was wrecked with anguish. He thought he was doing okay, but at that moment, he realized how much he missed the girls, not just Jolie, and how alone he truly was.

Maybe it was an unhealthy dependency, but without the Quinn family, he was nothing. Without them, he was just Jesse Pinkman – a junkie, a strung-out bitch turned meth dealer from Albuquerque. They **made** him something special. Without them, he felt worthless.

That night, he laid in bed surrounded by darkness and silence. Every inch of his body ached as he stared up at the ceiling. He regretted not taking the opportunity to talk to Jolie a few hours earlier when he was standing in front of her, but he was so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing again.

He should've grabbed her, stopped her from walking away again, and made her talk to him. So what if she yelled? So what if she fought him? He needed to talk to her.

The door that connected the garage to the house opened abruptly. The sound made Jesse flinch then his entire body tensed. He listened carefully as his heart began beating faster and faster, hearing someone shuffle around in the garage for a bit before the connecting door shut and things went silent again.

His body relaxed with a sigh. Every time he heard an unexpected noise, his body froze in fear, thinking it was Coop coming to strangle him or Linda coming to scream at him to get out of her house.

He was surprised Jolie hadn't said anything to her parents yet. He wondered if she was going to. He wondered if she was going to do anything at all or if she was simply going to stay away from him forever.

It felt like he was living his old life again. Scared of every noise, pained with extreme guilt and loneliness, and flat out miserable.

And only she could fix him.


	25. Chapter 25

The first sip of wine sent a wave of ease throughout Jolie's body. Sip after sip, the anxiety washed out of her veins. Then the warmth set in. She was warm and content and calm, much unlike the last four days. A fourth of the way through the bottle, she felt happiness creeping up into her heart. It seemed like a foreign feeling after days of constant sadness and confusion. But by the time the bottle was three-fourths empty, all of her emotions from the previous four days came rushing back to her all at once. Her mind was sludge as reality overwhelmed her. And she wanted it to end.

"God, I need to stop drinking so much," she groaned as she wobbly stood to her feet.

Trying to welcome his delayed unconsciousness, Jesse laid in his bed on his back, staring at the ceiling with heavy eyelids. He wanted nothing more than to be asleep, floating in oblivion, avoiding reality... And he was almost there... Until his heart nearly leaped out of his chest at the abrupt sound of someone thumping up the stairs to his bedroom. The sudden fright made him jump and sit upright in bed.

With an angrily balled fist, Jolie pounded on his bedroom door, causing him to flinch once again. Frightened and wanting the brash noise to stop, he rushed to the door and opened it to reveal the beautiful blonde weirdo from the aquarium tunnel. He was filled with mixed emotions, relieved that it wasn't an angry Coop or heartbroken Linda, irritated that she hastily came to see him late at night after avoiding and ignoring him for days, and ecstatic to finally be able to see her striking green eyes again. But she looked broken, damaged, and ruined. He had done that to her. He ruined her.

"How dare you?" She spat loosely. So much for having a rational, levelheaded conversation...

Immediately, he could tell she was drunk by her lazy demeanor and mostly from the smell of white wine on her breath.

"Jo," he sighed, more exasperated than sympathetic. He did not want to have this conversation with the textbook definition of inebriation.

"No!" She snapped somewhat loudly. "How _dare_ you?!"

"Shh." Jesse stifled her, afraid she would wake up her parents and they would find out the truth. "Jesus, Jolie. Come on, let's talk outside."

He guided her carefully as she wobbled down the stairs and stumbled out into the cold air. Once they were both fully outside, she turned to him again.

"How can I let that go, Jesse?" She cried as the concerns and emotions spewed out of her mouth uncontrollably. "You make me fall in love with you, you make the girls fall in love with you, and you make my parents fall in love with you, then you just – you just tell me you're a goddamn drug dealer?!"

His jaw tightened. He was not a goddamn drug dealer. Not anymore. Her sudden onslaught and attack of words, especially after days of the cold shoulder, threw him to the front line of defense. Didn't she want to _talk_? Didn't she want to work things out? Or did she just want to yell at him?

"I don't know how to process this!" She yelled. "I can't process this!"

"Jo, let's just t–," he tried to reason.

"How can anything ever be the same again?!" She interrupted stubbornly. "How am I supposed to just let that go?!"

"Because that's not who I am anymore!" He snapped back, forgetting she was drunk and rambling angrily.

The unexpected raise of his voice startled her, and she was suddenly speechless, staring at him with tears lining the rims of her eyes. She didn't even realize she was going on and on, yelling at him and frustrating him. All of her thoughts and questions were just racing to get out of her mouth all at once.

He wasn't sure if it was because he snapped at her or because she was just upset in general, but his heart softened at the sight of her tears daring to fall.

"Come on," he sighed, this time sympathetically. "Let's get you back to your house in case the girls wake up and need you."

Feeling very foolish and a little nauseous, she nodded and complied, allowing him to guide her back toward her house. For a brief moment, things felt normal as they walked side by side. But that quickly dissipated when her stomach turned.

Anticipating what was bound to happen next, Jolie picked up her pace, hurrying up the porch stairs and busting through her front door, rushing for the bathroom.

Alarmed, Jesse ran in after her. As he shut her front door, he could hear her retching from the other room. With a softened heart and attitude, he walked to her bathroom, prepared to take care of her for the rest of the night.

"Ugh, go away," Jolie groaned as she kneeled on the bathroom tile in front of the toilet with her elbows resting on the rim of the bowl and her face in her hands. "This is embarrassing."

He didn't say anything as he just crouched behind her, gently moving her hair out of her face and holding it back in his hand. She lurched forward, gagging as the contents of her stomach darted up her esophagus.

He hated seeing her like that. She drank herself sick, probably all because of him. She was miserable, definitely all because of him. It made him physically ache. He was supposed to take care of her and make her feel better – not ruin her and make her drink until she puked. Was she being dramatic or did his past really come as that much of a shock to her?

He wondered why he didn't he just continue to Miami like he was supposed to. Why did he have to come here and cause such a mess? The Quinn family had been through enough. They didn't need his shit too.

But he couldn't help himself. Something pulled him here and kept him here. How could he regret that when it made such a positive impact on his life? They fixed him. Maybe he _would_ still be a drug dealer if he had continued to Miami. Maybe things wouldn't have gone as well as it did in Louisiana, and he would've gone back to that life. He couldn't regret staying. He just couldn't.

After a few rounds of reflux, Jolie's tense body relaxed for a moment. She rested her head in her hands again, sighing.

"I'm so sorry," Jesse whispered leaning forward to place a soft kiss on her back. "I just wanted you to know the truth. I didn't mean for all this to happen. And I hate myself for it."

She didn't have time to even respond before another series of gags and retches began, whether it was from truly being sick or from being reminded of his daunting past.

"What's wrong with Aunt Jo?"

Jesse's head quickly whipped to the doorway where he saw Lia, clad with sleepy eyes and pink pajamas, staring at them with great concern. Jolie groaned again, as she took deep breaths to try and stifle the nausea, not wanting her niece to see her like that either.

"She's just sick," he insisted, gently letting go of Jolie's hair so it wouldn't fall back into her face before he stood up. "It's okay."

The concern on Lia's face didn't ease, even as Jesse walked over to her.

"Is she gonna die?" Lia asked, frightened. "Is she gonna die like my mommy and daddy?"

Jesse froze as he looked down at the little girl. For the first time, he saw the trauma she had endured. It was written all over her face and audible in her shaky voice. She was typically a very happy and cheery little girl, but he was finally able to see the true depth of her suffering. And it made every inch of his body hurt. He was heartbroken. He would've done **anything** at that moment to take back the pain she and Lucy had to endure that fateful night.

Jolie glanced over at her niece with guilty eyes as she wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. She began to sober up quicker than ever before. Lia's terrified question made her want to vomit all over again with shame. How could she have been so selfish to get so drunk then so sick? What if the girls had needed her but she was too drunk and sick to get out of the bathroom? Why didn't she think about them?

"Is she?" Lia pushed, petrified to her core.

Jesse crouched down in front of her, shaking his head softly. "No baby," he said quietly, brushing the little blonde hairs out of her face then cupping her cheek adoringly. "She's not going to die. She's okay. She just has a stomachache. That's all."

Even in her drunken stupor, Jolie could visibly see the love and admiration that Jesse had for her nieces. Ironically, she was quite glad he was there at that moment. To take care of her **and** the girls. She realized that she **did** still trust him. Even after finding out the truth about him.

"I'm gonna take care of Aunt Jo tonight, okay? I'll make sure she gets all better," Jesse promised the sleepy little girl as he stood to his feet.

Lia nodded softly, though she was still worriedly glancing at her aunt.

"But we gotta get you back to bed," he continued, lifting her into his arms. "You got camp in the morning, yo." He tried to lighten the mood a little with a more upbeat voice.

While he was carrying her back to her room, Jolie tried to stand to her feet. She managed to flush the toilet and hobble over to the sink where she washed her face and rinsed out her mouth.

By the time Jesse got done tucking Lia back into bed and checking on Lucy, who was still asleep, Jolie was already passed out in her own bed. Knowing she was probably out cold for the night and not wanting to leave the girls practically unattended, he grabbed a blanket and laid on the couch. Just in case the girls needed him. Just in case Jolie needed him.

~

Pain pulsated in outward waves throughout Jolie's head as she slowly regained consciousness the next morning. She clutched her forehead as she slowly sat up, trying to figure out why she felt like she was hit by a bus.

She glanced around her room, looking for any clues to remind her of what apparently happened to her, when her eyes fell on her clock. It was 7:30 in the morning, which meant she had to leave to drop the girls off at their winter camp in fifteen minutes. Panicking, she threw the covers off of her body and shuffled to the door then flung it open.

She inhaled to yell for the girls to start waking up, but was interrupted by the sound of their little laughter.

"Jesse, you're doing it wrong!" Lia giggled from the bathroom followed by a soft giggle from Lucy.

Instantly, everything came flooding back to Jolie's memory. Jesse's past... Her drunken rambling... Her vomiting... Lia wondering if she was going to die... Suddenly, she was feeling the effects of the hangover tenfold. Her whole body ached.

As she clutched her forehead again, she realized Jesse must've stayed the night and gotten the girls up for camp. Little butterflies dared to began fluttering in her stomach at his generosity, but she suppressed them.

"Well," Jesse laughed from the other room. "I don't know how to do hair pigtails, sorry!"

Jolie smiled to herself as she stood in the doorway of her bedroom. How could she stay away from that perfect human being? For all she cared at that moment, he could've been the leader of the Mafia or a Russian hit-man and she would still be in love with him.

"It's okay. Grandma Lin can do them for her," Lia insisted.

"Okay, good," Jesse sighed with relief. "Go grab your bags; I need to bring Aunt Jo some medicine."

Panic overwhelmed her again, as she still wasn't ready to face Jesse just yet. She quickly, but quietly, shut her bedroom door and jumped back into bed. She pulled the covers over her body and faced away from the door then shut her eyes and pretended to be asleep. Her head pounded residually from her sudden fast movements.

Seconds later, Jesse knocked softly on her door. When she didn't answer, he slowly opened it.

"Jo?" He whispered.

Feigning sleep, she didn't respond, so he quietly walked over to her bed and placed two aspirin and a warm cup of coffee and a bottle of water on her nightstand.

He looked at the back of her head for a moment. He wanted so badly to curl up next to her and love on her until she woke up, but he knew he had lost that privilege. Thinking she was asleep and that he may never get the chance to do it again, he sighed and leaned down then placed a soft kiss on the back of her head.

Tears welled up in her eyes as he left her room, gently shutting the door behind him. She sat back up in bed and wiped away the few tears that fell, then reached over and grabbed the medicine and coffee.

"Jesse, can you start coming over every day again?" Lia said from the other side of Jolie's bedroom door as she passed by, walking down the hallway.

"I don't know, sweetheart," he replied, passing her door as well. "I've been really busy lately, and I'm sorry for that, but I promise I'll try to."

Jolie's heart swelled with love and pain and anger and sadness as she heard the front door shut.

Since Jesse didn't know where the girls' camp was or what the routine was to drop them off, he walked them next door to Linda and Coop's house.

"Morning, Grandma Lin!" Lia shouted as they walked through the door.

"Well good morning! What a nice surprise!" Linda greeted with a happy smile as she poured coffee into two mugs.

"Jolie's not feeling well this morning, she got a little sick last night," Jesse informed her. "So I got the girls dressed and ready, but I don't know how to do Lucy's pigtails and I don't know where their camp is..."

Linda laughed sweetly. "I can bring them, doll." She waved her hand to insist. "And I can do the pigtails too, don't worry."

"Thanks," Jesse sighed with relief, wanting to make sure someone got the girls to camp on time some way or another.

"I knew Jolie was getting sick," Linda said as she sipped her coffee. "I told that girl to go to the doctor before it got worse."

He smiled, not wanting to tell her the real reason she was sick. "You know her, she's stubborn."

"Well, I'm just glad to see you two are okay," Linda stated. "I noticed you hadn't been spending as much time over there. I was worried something had happened between you two. But I'm glad to see y'all are okay. You're a doll for helping her out with the girls while she's sick."

"I'm happy to do it," he said, unsure of what else to say since they **weren't** okay.

"Well you go get back to my sick daughter," Linda insisted. "I've got it from here."

"Thanks, Linda," Jesse replied then looked down at the girls. "Bye pretty girls. Have fun at camp."

"Bye Jesse!" Lia sang.

Lucy waved in silence but with a soft smile. Jesse ruffled her already disheveled hair then left.

When he got back to Jolie's, he walked through her front door to find her sitting on the couch in the living room with all the lights off, staring off into space. She was curled up, with her knees to her chest, as she sipped from her coffee mug, much like her mother. He shut the door behind him but didn't walk any further into the room.

When she didn't acknowledge his presence, he spoke up. "Jo?"

She took another sip of her coffee but still didn't look in his direction.

"All this time I've been worried about you leaving and the girls losing another important person in their life," she began. "But **I'm** the one who's been keeping you away from them the last few days."

"I understand why," Jesse replied softly. "I don't have any right to see them anymore."

She finally looked over at him. "How could you do this?"

"Jo, I had no intention of this ever happening," he admitted as he walked over to the chair adjacent to the couch and sat down. "I planned on being in Miami, away from people, just getting my life together. But I can't help that I fell in love with Louisiana then your family then you."

She wanted so badly to believe him. She could see the agony on his face. He didn't do this on purpose. But she felt like he should've been forthright about it to begin with, or at least once he got involved with her and the girls. Why didn't he think about the consequences of keeping such a huge secret from them?

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" She asked. "Before we all got so attached to each other?"

He scoffed as he sunk back into the chair. "Yeah, I'm sure you guys would've just allowed me, a total stranger, to work in the shop and live in your parents house after I introduced myself as someone who used to cook meth. Sure, your dad would've just been like, 'Ah, jeez, bitch – come on in; in fact, why don't you just move in? We love meth!' Yeah. Right."

She had to admit that he had a point. If they had known about his past at first, he most likely would've never been given the chance to become a part of their family. She understood that, and for a second, she was glad he didn't say anything at first so that he **could** be in their lives.

"Are you in any danger?" She asked.

"No," he answered, shaking his head.

"Is my family in any danger?"

"No," he repeated. "I would've never come around or stuck around if I thought there was any possibility of anything bad happening. Everyone from my past who ever posed a threat is either, like, dead or in jail."

It hurt her heart to hear that, to know he was involved in such a deadly trade.

"If the social worker ran a background check on you, is there anything that would pop up that I don't know about or that I need to know about?" She wondered, unable to stop all of the questions in her mind from exploding out of her mouth – again.

"No," he replied.

"Is there anything else that I need to know about you in general?"

He shook his head. The murders and extortion and laundering wouldn't be on his record, and he decided right then and there that he would be taking those secrets to the grave with him. He saw no point in telling her, as it painted a picture of someone who was not him. He went through some dark times and had done some awful things, sometimes against his own will. But he was so different now; he had told her enough.

"Look, that's not who I am anymore," he told her. "Looking back now, I can't even remember being that person. It just feels like a dream. A really shitty miserable dream. And most of the time, I didn't want to be doing those things anyway. I just got stuck in a vicious cycle and it took me a while to get out... It's just not me, and it's definitely not who I am now."

"I know," she replied with more softness in her voice. "I was thinking back to every time I found you either crying or shaking or scared or spaced out. I know you were affected by it all, and I know you're not that person anymore. But your past is something that will always be a part of you."

He sighed, knowing she was right. In a sense, he **was** still that person. He always will be. That part of him will never go away.

"Did you smoke it too?" She asked.

"What, meth?" He wondered.

She nodded, knowing the answer deep down, but praying she was wrong.

"Yeah," he admitted unhappily. "Sometimes."

Her heart ached as she stared at him sadly. She figured part of the life of making and selling drugs was also doing them, but she had this immaculate preconceived notion of Jesse being such a respectable and incredible person all his life, and that was just destroyed by all of this information.

"I haven't in a really long time," he added, trying to defend himself. "I can't even remember the last time I did, but I know it's been, like, well over a year. I haven't done any drug in well over a year."

She nodded, not wanting to push the topic any further or know any more about his hardcore drug use.

They sat in silence for a moment – Jolie stared at the lukewarm coffee in her mug, fighting her hangover in addition to her feelings, and Jesse stared at the wall, wondering what the hell to say or do to make everything better between them.

"I'm not going to tell my parents anything," she stated suddenly. "Not yet at least. But if it comes up or if they somehow find out, I'm not going to deny it."

"I understand," he responded.

She sighed. Her mind was screaming at her not to do this, but her heart wanted him, and she knew she couldn't stay away from him. She was surrendering. Not easily, but she was surrendering.

"Jolie, I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you," he said sincerely. "And I'm sorry that I have such a shitty past in the first place. I wish I wasn't such a shithead and I wish that things could be easier, but you're not the only one that comes with baggage in this relationship. Mine's just a different kind."

"I know, and I forgive you," she replied. "I know your life is different now. And I want to put this mess behind us, because you did ultimately tell me the truth and because I know you're not a bad person, but it's going to take time for me to completely get over it," she said.

He nodded. "I know."

"And things have to **stay** different, you know that right?" She asked for confirmation. "I don't know how the drug world works, but you can't go back to that shit. Ever. Not if you want to be a part of our lives. That is not something I take lightly, and you can't go back to that life. No matter what."

"I know," he sighed. "You will never have to worry about that, because there's no way I'm ever doing that shit again."


	26. Chapter 26

On the last night of the year, a bonfire bellowed on the Quinn property near the lake, keeping the family warm as they tried to bring in the New Year together. It was still a few hours away from midnight, yet Lucy had already fallen asleep up on Jolie's shoulder as she sat in a foldout chair next to Linda. A few yards away, Coop and Jesse lit sparklers and small firecrackers for Lia, who was loving the one on one attention from the two men in her life.

"Jeez, kid, don't burn yourself!" Coop warned as a few sparks popped Lia's hand.

"I'm okay, Grandpa Coop!" Lia insisted, brushing him off. "Look, I can spell my name!" She twirled her arm around, spelling her name in the air with the smoke from the sparkler.

"Spell my name!" Jolie suggested, enjoying the sight of her niece so enthralled by the fireworks.

"Okay!" Lia complied as she moved her arms widely through the air.

Jolie smiled as she watched her niece spell her name then random words with her sparkler until it fizzled out.

"Ready for this one, Lia?" Jesse asked as he kneeled down to light a few firework fountains that he had strung together to go off at once.

"What's it gonna do?" She asked as she stood behind him, observing him intently.

"Watch," he said as the tip quickly ignited and the flame began traveling down the fuse.

He turned around, scooped Lia up backwards with one arm, and rushed away from the impending detonation. She giggled as she bounced in his grip, and once he was a few yards further, he slowed to a halt then put her back on her feet. He crouched down beside her, wrapping one arm around her waist, just in case the firework went awry, and waited.

Instinctively, Jolie covered Lucy's exposed ear so it wouldn't startle her in her sleep, and waited for the blast as well.

Within seconds, the fireworks erupted, shooting multiple sparks a few feet into the air, which popped in a multitude of colors and bright flashes of light, and fell to the ground in a fountain-like shape.

"Ooh!" Lia squealed as her eyes lit up. "I like this one!"

Jesse smiled at her excitement. It was a mediocre firework in his opinion, but it impressed the young girl, and that was all that mattered.

When the sparks died out, Lia clapped her hands happily. "Do another one! A bigger one!"

Jesse laughed as he stood to his feet and walked over to the table that contained their fireworks. "Slow your roll, kiddo. Let's set off some smoke bombs first or something. We gotta save the good stuff for later."

"Okay, I want a pink smoke bomb!" Lia insisted.

"Duh, I knew that," he teased as he held out two little pink spheres in his hand.

"Yay!" Lia cheered.

Jolie watched as he held the two bombs between his fingers and lit them simultaneously then threw them out into the yard. Moments later, pink puffs of smoke floated into the air.

"Can I go run through it?" Lia asked Jesse.

"Go for it," he encouraged, laughing when she instantly darted toward the smoke, leaping and jumping through it. She waved her arms around goofily, wafting the pink swirls in different directions.

Jolie couldn't help but smile. It had only been a couple days since she and Jesse reconciled after their chat about his past, and though she was still weary about him, she was so glad to have him back around and to see him back with the girls. They were so much happier with him around. And he was so good to them.

Jesse glanced over at her, instantly smiling at the sight of her smiling at Lia. He was so goddamn thankful that she accepted his past and forgave him for it. She took a huge leap of faith when she allowed him back into their lives, and he would forever be in debt to her.

He walked over to her and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, which only made her smile more, then placed one on the top of Lucy's head. It was almost a reminder, to her and to himself, of how grateful he was. He wanted to make sure he would never take them for granted again, and he wanted her to know that.

"Need anything?" He asked her.

She smiled up at him sweetly and shook her head. He leaned down again, this time kissing her cheek, then walked back over to the table and started messing with some more fireworks.

She knew it wouldn't take long before things went completely back to normal. Especially with the way he's been treating her. He's always been such a sweet and gentle person, but she could tell he was going above and beyond to prove himself to her. And she appreciated it. She was still hesitant at times, but it got easier with each kiss and each smile and each touch.

"I'm about to head inside. Do you want to come put Lucy down?" Linda questioned as she stood to her feet.

"Are they sleeping at your house tonight?" Jolie wondered.

"Yeah, I promised them that they could sleep over tonight and help make breakfast in the morning." Linda answered.

"Are you sure? She's okay for now if you want to stay outside a little longer."

"I'm too cold; I'm ready to go in," Linda stated.

"Alright," Jolie said, adjusting Lucy in her arms and standing to her feet.

She went inside with her mother and took Lucy upstairs then tucked her into 'her' bed. She thanked her mother then went back outside, where she was immediately greeted by an overly enthused Lia.

"Can I stay up until midnight tonight, pleeease?!" She pleaded. "I want to see the big fireworks show over the lake!"

Jolie laughed. "You really think you can stay up that late?"

"Can I at least _try_? Please, please, please!" Lia begged. "We don't have winter camp _or_ school tomorrow! Please!"

"Sure," Jolie agreed nonchalantly, knowing her niece would fall asleep well before the New Year began. "If you think you can handle it."

~

Thirty minutes before midnight, Lia was still bouncing around in the yard with Coop and Jesse as they continued setting off fireworks closer to the lake. Jolie sat on a blanket on the ground near them, amazed that her niece was still awake this late. She prayed it wouldn't come back to bite her in the butt when she was cranky as hell tomorrow.

"Go sit by your aunt, Lia," Coop instructed his granddaughter as he leaned over to light a firework that Jesse had placed on the edge of the lake. "This is a big one."

Lia obeyed, rushing over to the blanket and plopping down next to Jolie, waiting impatiently for the next round of flashes and colors to go off. Jesse quickly joined them, sitting on the other side of Jolie as Coop lit the fireworks and rushed away from the impending explosion.

A few seconds later, the aerial repeater fireworks began erupting from the tubes on the ground, rocketing high into the sky and bursting into willows of colors. Each flash of light sent new sparkles of color throughout the sky, illuminating the darkness. The booms were loud, tightening Jesse's chest when they resembled the familiar sound of gunshots.

He had been fine for most of the night, but the bigger fireworks brought louder explosions and they were beginning to get to him. He had been able to keep his cool through the first few, but small beads of sweat were beginning to line his forehead.

He shut his eyes and bowed his head, taking deep breaths and trying to shake the memories.

Jolie immediately noticed his sudden change in demeanor. "You okay?" She asked quietly, terrified of alarming Lia again after she walked in on her puking violently the other night.

With his eyes still shut, he nodded softly.

But through his heaving chest and sweaty forehead, she recognized the distress in him. She had seen it before, but something about it was different this time – now she knew about his past and she knew some of the things he went through. She was able to understand and sympathize with him more realistically now.

Only to an extent though, because she knew she still didn't know about everything.

She knew he hadn't told her the whole story, and she partially wondered what else he had gone through, but she figured she was better off not knowing it all. She didn't want to hear about him being tortured or in pain. She couldn't handle knowing that he suffered at the hands of someone else.

She leaned over and placed a small kiss on his cheek, but lingered for a moment.

"I know I don't know _everything_ about your past, and that's okay, but I am so sorry that you had to go through whatever it is you had to go through," she told him, loud enough to be heard over the fireworks, but quiet enough to not reach Lia's ears. "I can tell it's really affected you, and I'm so sorry you had to suffer."

He opened his eyes finally and glanced over at her. She was looking at him with loving yet concerned eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds, sharing a moment of full connection. Things might not have been fully back to normal yet, but it was obvious that all of their initial feelings for each other were still there. And to them, that was a good sign that things would be okay between them.

"Well," Coop chuckled, interrupting their moment as he walked over to them. "She almost made it."

The two broke their gaze and glanced over at Coop then followed his gaze to Lia, who was curled up and asleep next to Jolie on the blanket.

Jolie laughed. "Of course she managed to stay up all night yet fall asleep during the loudest of the fireworks."

"Ah, jeez," Coop groaned. "Well I'll take her on inside. I was only out here doing this shit so late because of her anyway."

Jesse and Jolie chuckled as Coop bent down and lifted Lia into his arms.

"You two enjoy the big show at midnight," he said. "Happy New Year."

"Night, Coop," Jesse replied. "Happy New Year."

"Yeah, Happy New Year," Jolie added. "Thanks, Dad."

"G'night, kids," Coop said as he departed and walked toward the house carrying Lia.

Jesse and Jolie turned back to face the lake, staring at the fog that hovered over the icy surface of the water. It never got quite cold enough in Louisiana to freeze their little lake for more than a few hours overnight, but it painted a great picture of winter when it did.

"I still love you, you know?" Jolie said softly out of nowhere. For some reason, she felt the need to say it, to clarify her feelings for him, just in case.

Jesse glanced over at her to gauge her emotions. "I know."

"I mean, I was angry and confused, but I was never going to just give up on you," she explained. "I wasn't going to write you off just like that."

He smiled softly and nodded, remembering when he accused her of writing him off 'at the drop of a hat' during their small argument in the shop.

Just then, a loud boom erupted from across the lake. Jesse jumped as images flashed through his mind of Gale falling to the floor with a bullet hole in his forehead. His heart raced, startled from the explosion, as he whipped his head in the direction of the sound and saw a huge burst of colors over the lake.

"They do a huge fireworks show on the Tchefuncte River every year," Jolie explained, concerned by his reaction. "They pop some really beautiful crazy ones at midnight, but we never have to go to it because we can always see it from right here across the lake."

He clutched his chest, breathing heavily, realizing the sound came from fireworks. He mentally kicked himself – a damn gun wasn't _that_ loud, though it did sound that loud when it echoed in his dreams.

"It's okay," Jolie rubbed his back sympathetically. "You're okay."

Fireworks continued to litter the night sky as his heart finally slowed to a normal pace, thanks to Jolie's comforting arms around him.

He turned to her to thank her but paused when he realized his face was only inches away from hers. She could feel his warm breath on her lips as he moved closer and closer until his lips were touching hers. Gently, he kissed her.

At first, the only thing her mind could think of was Jesse as a drug dealer. She pictured him selling drugs, doing drugs, counting money, and the like. The images flipped through her mind like a silent movie. She wanted to protest the kiss, move away from him, and run, but when she felt his hands urgently hold her face to his, as if he was reading her mind, she involuntarily began kissing back.

He needed her. She could feel it in his kiss and in his touch. How dare she try to run away from him when he needed her so badly?

He moved his hands from her face to the back of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair and deepening the kiss as desperation took over his body. All the emotions he pent up over the last few days were pouring out as he realized how badly he would've crashed and burn if she had truly left him for good.

She lost all train of thought as his kiss turned her mind to mush. How did she manage to stay away from him for more than a day? She missed his scent, his taste, and his body. She wrapped her own arms around his neck as she maneuvered to sit on his lap facing him.

His hands moved to grip her hips as he began to throb in his pants. A familiar warmth pulsated between her own legs as she straddled him, kissing him intensely.

"Take me inside," she muttered against his lips.

~

Inside her bedroom, Jesse slowly laid Jolie down on top of her bed. She smiled as he climbed on top of her, kissing her again, unable to keep his lips off of her. His lips traveled from her mouth down to her neck and across her collarbone. He was infatuated with her, tasting and smelling every inch of her skin.

Her hands moved to his belt, attempting to loosen it despite the fact that her eyes kept rolling into the back of her head with pleasure. As she pulled off his belt, his hands moved up her shirt, feeling the soft bare skin of her toned stomach against his fingertips. He broke away from kissing her briefly then unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down, revealing her smooth legs and a lacy black thong. Jolie sat up on the edge of the bed when Jesse stood back up on the floor, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head.

She leaned forward, kissing his bare abs, admiring his muscles, as her hands moved to his pants, finally undoing the button then zipper. She took her lips off of his body to pull her shirt over her head and snap off her black bra, baring her size C breasts, and then she pulled down Jesse's pants and underwear simultaneously, exposing his fully hard manhood.

A wave of pleasure erupted through Jesse's body when he felt Jolie's warm mouth around him – he couldn't remember the last time he felt that sensation, but it had been well over a year. He grunted with desire, grabbing a fistful of her hair as she bobbed her head up and down, wetting his shaft with her warm saliva. She couldn't help herself; she was lusting so hard for him, she could've kept her mouth on him for hours.

He pulled her off him when he felt an orgasm building up, knowing damn well he was not ready to release yet. He worried, for a moment, how the hell he was going to last more than a minute when he was actually inside of her. It was fine when they were having a quickie and not even fully naked. This time was much different.

He pushed her back onto the bed, pulling her black panties down her legs and letting them fall to the floor then leaned forward and softly kissed her slit. She inhaled deeply at his touch. Using his fingers to part her lips, he exposed her wet folds and very delicately skimmed his tongue around and along them. He inserted a finger inside of her, satisfied at how wet she was. A moan escaped her lips as she bucked her hips; in return, he flicked his tongue on her sensitive, swollen spot. She yelped in pleasure.

"I can't take it," she sighed, already squirming. "Get up here."

Jesse did as he was told but took his time. He kissed a line up her thigh to her hips, letting his tongue flick the spot where her hipbone protruded beneath her skin, loving the little bulge it made. She sighed softly, feeling immaculate while he adored every inch of her body. He continued kissing up her stomach, doting on the little protrusions from her ribcage. She ran a hand through his short buzzed hair and down the back of his head then rested it on the back of his neck as she watched him kiss between her breasts.

He climbed fully back on top of her then used his knee to guide her legs open. He placed his throbbing head at her warm entrance, already about to melt into the floor at the feeling.

But as he looked down at her and into her eyes, something changed. He saw the beautiful blonde below him, but she was so much more vulnerable and exposed than he had ever seen her before. The way she looked up at him, lovingly yet nervous and eager, made his heart pound. He was no longer filled with lust, only love. He slowly began to slide inside of her, furrowing his brow at the pleasure. She loved the sight of him being so aroused by her.

"God," he groaned when he was fully inside of her. She exhaled deeply, not even realizing she had been holding her breath.

With one hand, he reached up and moved her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear then caressing the edge of her ear. She smiled at him subtly, and his heart melted. His hand traveled down to her neck, where he held the side of it as he pressed his forehead to hers then began kissing her softly and sweetly.

A soft whimper escaped her lips as he pulled out of her then slowly pushed back in. He was being so delicate with her, and it made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. She was no stranger to sex, but the gentle passion she felt radiating from his body was a new experience. She could actually _feel_ his adoration for her through his movements. This was not about sex. It was about love.

She ran a hand down his toned shoulder and arm as he began to thrust into her softly, feeling him move against her in more ways than one.

He observed her closely as he plunged into her, watching as her body moved with his movements. Her hips rolled forward and backward, meeting his so he wasn't left to do all the work. His member slid in and out of her with ease due to her natural lubrication.

Jolie shut her eyes, focusing on the feeling of his body against hers and the aching sensation between her legs.

"Mmm," she moaned softly as the clock struck midnight, signaling the New Year.

He pressed his forehead to hers again, beginning to breathe heavily. She kissed his cheek then his neck then nipped his collarbone softly with her teeth, eliciting a pleasured groan from deep within his throat. She continued her kisses up his neck to his ear, where she softly nipped again.

He moaned softly as he shut his eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling. He tucked his arm under her, holding her close to his chest as he began to push deeper and deeper into her as the urgency returned. But he never quickened his pace, wanting to maintain a gentle momentum and cherish the moment.

Her mouth slowly opened and her eyelids fluttered as she felt the pleasure building up in her body. She slowly leaned her head back and arched her back, pressing her torso against his.

Jesse tried as hard as he could to hold off on his own orgasm until she had hers, something he never worried about before. He never paid so much attention to a woman during sex before. Hell, he had never even _felt_ this way during sex before. He was very aware of every move she made; especially when her body tensed below him and he felt her muscles tighten around him.

A minute later, a mind-blowing orgasm exploded throughout Jolie's body, rolling from her shoulders down to her bucking hips repeatedly. She cried out Jesse's name, holding him close to her with one hand around his neck and clutching his arm with the other as she writhed beneath him. Her toes curled and she pulsated around his throbbing dick, which he knew was going to send him over the edge.

Her body finally relaxed as Jesse continued rolling his hips against hers. He lifted his head to look at her adorably blissful face then pressed his forehead against hers and kissed her lips. She ran her hands down his back and began moving her hips again to help with some of the work.

She moaned with the aftershock of her orgasm and Jesse buried his face into her neck, pumping deeper and harder into her. Soon after, he felt a surge of pleasure throughout his entire body. He grunted into her neck, letting the feeling take him over. It was unlike any orgasm he'd ever had before. His hips bucked sporadically as Jolie felt him spill inside of her, feeling him throb with each load. Another groan escaped his mouth then he collapsed on top of her.

They both laid still on the bed, him breathing heavily into her neck and her clutching the back of his neck, unable to wrap their minds around what had just happened.


	27. Chapter 27

"This is just...beautiful," Don Landry, a tall man around Coop's age with white hair and round glasses, commented as he stood back and observed the beech wood bookshelf Jesse had made for him. "Better than I imagined it!"

"Thank you, sir," Jesse replied earnestly, appreciative of the man's praise as they stood right outside the shop in the chilly early morning air. No stranger had ever complimented him like that before. "I'm glad you like it."

"No, thank _you_ – I love it," Don restated then turned to face Coop, who was smiling, feeling proud of his employee. "Coop, this boy's damn good."

Sudden movement from Jolie's house grabbed Jesse's attention. He turned his head to the side, glancing over as she was coming out of her house carrying a coffee mug and dressed warmly. As she made her way down her porch steps, Jesse had a flashback of her writhing beneath him the night before.

He felt bad that he left before she woke up that morning, but he was afraid of her father catching him coming out of her house.

"I told you," Coop replied, nodding his head once. "He's a quick learner. Wasn't too sure about him at first, but he's proved his worth and then some."

As Jolie reached the bottom step, she glanced up and was met with Jesse's gaze. Her cheeks flushed as she began walking to her parents' house. She smiled sheepishly at him, also having a flashback from the night before of him grunting into her neck.

He smiled at her sheepish smile, knowing what was going through her head, as he recognized her sly smile from the time when they ate dinner across from each other after their rendezvous on her washing machine.

Though she was smiling externally, she was freaking out internally. She was honestly thankful that she had woken up alone that morning, as she was kicking herself for being such an easy target AGAIN. Merely days ago, she didn't even trust the guy, and all he had to do was bat his eyelashes, appear a little vulnerable, and she hopped right into bed with him.

It wasn't like she regretted it at all, but she wondered if she was absolutely mental, because half of her wanted to relive the night all over again and the other half wanted to throw on a chastity belt until she came to her senses. They had mended their relationship but only barely!

"He's taking over for you one day?" Don wondered, still eyeing the beautiful piece of carpentry.

Jesse's attention and gaze were brought back to the conversation once he heard Don's question.

Coop nodded. "I reckon he will." He winked at Jesse subtly.

Jesse couldn't help but smile in response. That was the first time Coop had mentioned anything about actually letting Jesse take over for him. He hadn't even wanted to give him much of a chance at first, and probably only did it out of pity, but Jesse was glad he was able to repay him by being a hard worker with good work ethic and natural talent. It was all paying off for both of them.

"I sure hope so. Help me load it into the back of the truck, will ya?" Don asked Jesse as he stood on one side of the bookshelf.

"Yes, sir," Jesse replied quickly as he went around to the other side and lifted his end of the piece.

Together, they carefully placed it into the back of Don's dark blue pick-up truck. Jesse helped him cushion the bookshelf with blankets then secure it with bungee cords.

"Thanks again, boy," Don stated as he stuck out his hand.

Jesse took his hand and proudly shook it. "You're welcome, sir."

"See you 'round, Coop," Don called as he hopped into the driver side.

Coop simply waved as they watched Don started the engine and drive down the rocky gravel driveway.

"Did you mean what you said?" Jesse asked. "About me taking over?"

"Of course I did," Coop replied. "But hey, I'm not going anywhere just yet. We'll talk about it more when I decide I'm ready to retire."

Jesse smiled and nodded.

"You did great work, son," Coop complimented as he patted Jesse on the back once. "As usual."

"Thanks, Coop," he replied.

"Hey, I think Linda and the girls are making their New Years pancakes. You hungry?" His boss asked as they began walking toward the house.

"Starving," Jesse replied, secretly having worked up an appetite with his daughter last night – which reminded him that he hadn't showered since. "...But I think I'm gonna go up to my room and shower first."

"Okay, but be quick," Coop warned as he sauntered up the porch steps. "Lia and Lucy can ravage some pancakes."

Jesse chuckled as he made his way to the side of the garage. "I'll hurry."

~

After his shower, Jesse sauntered into the kitchen, where he was hit with an atmosphere of chaos and commotion. Linda was standing near the oven, mixing a big bowl of batter with a whisk, while Jolie squeezed fresh oranges to fill a glass pitcher with juice. Coop sat at his spot at the head of the table reading the newspaper, and Lia and Lucy sat in their usual chairs across from each other, reaching for pancakes from the stack in the middle of the table.

"Morning," Jolie greeted with a smile as she glanced up at him. She was still annoyed with herself for constantly being putty in his hands, but his presence alone made her smile, which in turn just proved that she really _was_ putty in his hands. And there was nothing she could do about it.

"G'morning," Jesse replied softly with a smile as he walked further into the kitchen, wanting nothing more than to grab her and kiss her with the same passion that he had last night – except he was able to control himself this time.

"Oh, good morning, hon! Can you set out the silverware for me?" Linda requested, distracted by her skillet of cooking pancakes. "I didn't get a chance to do that yet."

"Yeah, of course," Jesse answered as he turned to get them from the drawer.

"Morning, Jesse!" Lia exclaimed happily as she scooped some butter for her pancakes. He was surprised to see her so peppy and lively after her late night of fireworks.

"Morning, Lia," he replied as he walked over to the table to lay out the forks and knives.

Lucy glanced up at him with her happy eyes, her usual greeting.

"And good morning to you, Lucy," Jesse added.

"Good morning, Jesse!" Lucy peeped.

In a solid instant, everyone froze. Jesse paused in mid air as he leaned over the table to put a fork down. Linda stopped mixing the batter, and Jolie stopped squeezing the oranges, and they both glanced over at the little girl with disbelieving eyes. Coop lowered his newspaper and glanced over the top with a cocked eyebrow, and Lia immediately stopped buttering her pancakes and looked up at her sister, dumbfounded.

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. The only sound came from the subtle popping of the cooking pancakes on the stove.

"Good morning...?" Jesse repeated in a confused manner with a furrowed brow. Through all the noise and commotion, he wasn't sure he actually heard what he thought he heard.

"Good morning!" Lucy echoed in her adorably girly voice, giggling at his half-statement/half-question.

Linda quietly gasped as Lia's jaw dropped. Tears quickly bordered the rim of Jolie's eyes.

"Well I'll be damned," Coop muttered softly.

Jesse could only stare at Lucy as a delicate smile slowly spread across his face. She had just spoken. For the first time in nearly eight months. To him.

He was afraid that if he, or anyone else, made a big deal out of what had just happened, she would be scared into silence again, so he simply finished what he was doing, placing the fork down and continuing to set the rest of the table. Though the smile never left his face.

The tears lining Jolie's eyes fell as she watched Jesse go on with his task, treating Lucy like he always did – normally, like nothing was wrong or different or off about her. Everyone had always tried to get Lucy to talk, and sometimes they even tried to trick her into talking, but he never did. He always simply talked **to** her. He didn't make a big deal out of her silence, and he never even _seemed_ disappointed or upset that she never talked. He just accepted it. Granted, it was all he had known since he came around after she had stopped speaking, but there was still an obvious difference in the way he treated her. Therefore, it came as no surprise to Jolie that Jesse was the first person Lucy began talking to.

Coop cleared his throat. "Is the next batch of pancakes ready? I'm so hungry I could eat a damn horse," he said, almost as a signal for everyone to go about their business before Lucy had time to realize they were all gawking at her.

"Oh, yes," Linda sniffled, not even realizing she had tears that were daring to fall, as she set the mixing bowl down then turned to the stove where the pancakes were getting dangerously close to being burnt.

Lia was still eyeing her sister carefully, but when she noticed that the adults were not saying anything to Lucy, she knew she shouldn't either, though she did not understand the reason. She reached forward and grabbed the bottle of maple syrup then poured a heaping of it onto her pancakes, which caught Jolie's eye, distracting her from crying.

"Don't pour too much, sweetie," she warned softly as she discreetly wiped the tear marks off her cheeks. "It's too early for all that sugar."

"Sorry," Lia said quietly as she turn the bottle back over to stop the flow of syrup.

After Jolie poured juice in everyone's glass, she excused herself from the room and walked into the hallway where she grabbed a tissue and wiped her face again and under her eyes then examined her appearance in the mirror to make sure it didn't look like she had been crying.

"You okay?" Jesse asked with a gentle smile as he peered around the corner.

Jolie turned to face him. "I can't believe she just talked to you."

"I know." His smile softened as he continued the rest of the way around the corner and into the hallway with her. "I didn't know what to do."

"You knew exactly what to do. You've always known exactly what to do. You've always been so good to her," Jolie sighed. "I've been blown away by the way you've treated her and talked to her from the start. And because of the way you treated her, she trusts you, and she opened up to you. And I love you so much for that."

Jesse smiled as he reached forward to pull her into a hug, where she sniffled into his chest.

"Don't cry," he cooed as he rested his lips onto the top of her head.

"You're stuck with us forever now, you know that, right?" She asked, sniffling again as she snuggled into him.

"Good," he replied softly as he kissed the top of her head. "Because I'm not going anywhere. I'm way too in love with you, Lia, and Lucy to go anywhere now."

~

The warm sun felt refreshing on Jesse's face as he stepped out of the garage and into the brisk winter air. Though it was still chilly outside, the sun would eventually bring the temperature up a bit that day, warming up Louisiana for the first time in weeks, which prompted Jolie to suggest they take the girls to the zoo that day. Jesse was wholeheartedly fine with that idea.

As he made his way over to her house, a smile spread across his face. Everything in life felt exhilarating lately. He was simply happy nearly all the time. Ever since he was able to finally tell Jolie the truth about his past, it felt like a weight had physically been lifted off of his shoulders. It made such a difference in his attitude.

With his hands shoved into his pockets, he sauntered up the steps of Jolie's front porch then opened her front door and let himself in.

"Yo, where're my ladies?" He called as he shut the door behind him.

"Jesse!" Lucy squealed as she ran into the living room to greet him.

"Ooh," Jesse cooed as she ran to him. He scooped her up into his arms. "I just love hearing that little voice!"

She leaned forward and pecked his cheek with a gentle kiss. "Good morning!"

His heart fluttered at her sweet little gesture.

"Good morning, you cute little turd," he teased as he positioned her on his hip then began walking into the kitchen.

"Ew!" She exclaimed, making an adorably grotesque face. "A turd?!"

Jesse chuckled. "Yes a turd! A cute little one!"

Lucy giggled at his ridiculousness.

"Are you ready to go to the zoo?" He asked her.

"Yes!" She peeped.

"Where's Aunt Jo? And Lia?" He asked her as they walked into the kitchen.

"Fightin' in the bathroom," she replied simply.

"Uh oh," Jesse responded, immediately uneasy about her answer.

He turned to go down the hallway, where he could hear muffled voices coming from Jolie's bedroom. As they got closer, the voices became more audible and more intelligible, but they were gentler than he expected. It didn't sound like they were fighting.

With Lucy on his hip, he walked into Jolie's empty bedroom and noticed her bathroom door was shut. He knocked on it softly.

"Yeah?" Jolie asked with a sniffle from the other side of the door.

"It's me," he replied. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," she answered.

He opened the door slowly to reveal Lia and Jolie sitting on the bathroom floor next to each other, both in their pajamas with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Hey, you two," he greeted gently, concerned but unsure of why they were crying.

"Hey, Jesse," Lia replied with much less enthusiasm than usual.

"Hey, sorry, we're running a little late," Jolie stated as she fidgeted with a tissue in her hand.

"That's okay," Jesse replied with slight concern in his voice. "We're not in any hurry. Plus it's not going to warm up until about ten o'clock anyway."

Jolie nodded and stood to her feet then turned and helped Lia up.

"Go put on the clothes we picked out last night, okay?" She hugged her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Lia said, nodding.

Jesse put a wiggly Lucy down, and she followed Lia out of the bathroom.

"What's going on?" He asked with a hushed voice, leaning against the doorframe.

Jolie sighed, putting an exasperated hand on her hip. "Lia came in my room this morning insisting that she wear this little yellow summer dress that didn't even fit her anymore, and she refused to take it off because apparently it's what she wore the last time she went to the zoo. I told her no, then she put her pajamas back on and started crying and freaking out and saying she wanted to stay home, and I yelled at her because she was being ridiculous." She ran a hand through her hair with another sigh. "Then she told me that the last time she went to the zoo was with her mom and dad right before they died, and she wore that yellow dress. She started crying again then I started crying then we had a heart-to-heart crying on the bathroom floor."

Jesse frowned as he felt his heart crack from Lia's continued suffering. "Is she okay?"

She nodded, pressing her lips together. "I think so."

"Are _you_ okay?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," she sighed heavily, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his torso. "I am now."

He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head as she buried her face into his chest. It was moments like these, where she looked to him for comfort, that he reminded himself never to take for granted again. It was a simple gesture, a miniscule moment that most people would never think about again after it happened, but he cherished even the littlest moments after nearly losing all of them.

"I just feel bad," Jolie mumbled. "I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. I should've known something was wrong. She never acts like that."

"But you _didn't_ know. And that's okay. You're not expected to get it right every single time, Jo," he reasoned.

Jolie sighed again as she pulled out of the hug. "But every time I think I have a grip on things with the girls, something like this happens and reminds me that actually, I don't have a grip on shit."

"Hey, at least Lucy's talking again," he offered.

"Yeah," she chuckled sarcastically as she walked from her bathroom to her bedroom then shut the door. "Because of you probably!"

Jesse remained in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching as she gathered clothes from her closet.

"Maybe I'll just call you over to handle things every time there's a freak out over here," she suggested.

Jesse cocked an eyebrow and shook his head. "I love you guys, but I don't think I'd be any better at handling a six-year-old's freak out than you are. I am **not** equipped in that department. At all. Sorry."

Jolie laughed a little then pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her bare torso underneath. Jesse's eyes couldn't help but wander over her body, especially when she tugged her pajama pants off, leaving her in only a sliver of fabric, barely enough to be called underwear.

He had seen her fully naked just a few nights earlier, but it certainly wasn't something he was used to seeing yet. And she was so perfectly flawless to him, he didn't think he would ever get used to seeing her like that. Even the little spot where her hipbones protruded turned him on.

"Down boy," she teased as she began to put a bra on, noticing him eyeing her. "We're not home alone."

His eyes traveled up from her chest to her face where he smirked cheekily, realizing he was in fact tightening in his pants. "Sorry. Really can't help that one."

"You don't have to apologize for _him_," she nodded toward his softening bulge. "Just don't forget the girls are here."

"Oh yeah, I can see that the girls are here," he joked with raised eyebrows as he nodded towards her chest.

Jolie pursed her lips at his comment but couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. "I wouldn't have changed in front of you if I had known you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"Babe, I don't think _anyone_ could handle that body," he half-teased/half-complimented as he pushed himself off the doorframe walked over to her bed where he sat.

Again, she couldn't suppress her smile, though she shook her head at him and subtly rolled her eyes as she pulled her pants on.

"You're lucky you're cute," she noted.

"And you're lucky the girls are home," he retorted.

"Oh yeah?" She asked sultrily as she walked over to him. "Why does that make me lucky?"

"Because if they weren't home, I would–,"

"AUNT JO, WE'RE READY!" Lia loudly interrupted from the other side of the door.

"Okay!" Jolie called back. "I'll be out in a second!"

Jesse exhaled deeply. "She's scarily good at calling your name when I'm about to pounce on you."

"Welcome to parenthood," Jolie laughed as she pulled her sweater over her head. "Where kids can and will interrupt any and every potentially sexual moment."

~

"Read this one!" Lia exclaimed as she pulled Jesse, who had Lucy hoisted up onto his shoulders, toward the elephant habitat in the New Orleans Audubon Zoo.

"Okay, let's see..." Jesse squinted at the 'Fun Fact Plaque' in front of him. "Elephants have four molars – each one weighs about eleven pounds (five kilograms) and measures about twelve inches (thirty centimeters) long."

"What's molars?" Lucy asked cutely.

"Teeth," Jesse answered in simple terms comprehendible by a three-year-old. "So an elephant has teeth that are this big." He held out his hands to demonstrate the size then promptly brought one of his hands back to Lucy's leg, where he held her into place in case she shifted on his shoulders.

"Wooow," Lia cawed with big eyes.

"Look how big he is," Jesse pointed out as they all watched the elephant, who was walking slowly through his habitat.

"His toenail is bigger than my head I think," Lia innocently noted.

Jesse chuckled a little then glanced back at Jolie, who was watching them with a smile on her face. She had been straying a little behind them – reminiscent of their Halloween night together – watching as they adorably interacted. She enjoyed observing them more than she enjoyed observing the animals. Jesse was so gentle and calm with the girls, never getting frustrated or annoyed by Lia's constant requests for him to read the fun facts or Lucy's constant questions about what certain unfamiliar words mean.

In fact, he seemed to be enjoying it all. As they walked to the next habitat, the look on his face was just as bright and excited as the looks on Lia and Lucy's faces. It was adorable and only served as proof that Jolie was simply infatuated with him – as if she needed any more confirmation of that fact.

"Whoa, this says that giraffes have four stomachs!" Jesse read from the 'Fun Fact Plaque' in front of the giraffe exhibit.

"Wow," Jolie commented with raised eyebrows as she stood beside them.

"Helps with digestion apparently," Jesse added, still reading the plaque.

"Four?!" Lia asked with concerned eyes as she stared at the tall animals in front of her. "How do they even fit four stomachs in there?!"

"Beats me, kiddo," Jesse replied with a chuckle.

~

"Monkeys!" Lucy happily squealed atop Jesse's shoulders as they approached the chimpanzee habitat.

"Monkeys are her favorite animals," Lia informed Jesse, always having her sister's back.

"Oh yeah?" He wondered. "Let's see what fun fact they have about the monkeys."

"Read it! Read it!" Lia encouraged as they approached the plaque.

"It says... Chimpanzees share close to 98 percent of human DNA," he read.

"Wow, cool!" Lia commented, though she had absolutely no idea what the information meant.

"I know another pretty interesting fact about chimps," Jolie stated. "They can learn a good bit of American Sign Language."

"Really?" Jesse asked as he held onto Lucy's little ankles to keep her steady on his shoulders.

Jolie nodded. "I had a whole lecture on it in one of my courses when I was getting my masters."

"Hey, I remember sign language!" Lia exclaimed as she held up her hand and moved her fingers around to spell her name.

"That's right!" Jolie commended, repeating the signs with her own hand. "I can't believe you remember that! I taught you that forever ago!"

"Hey, chimps! This is my name!" Lia called as she held up her hand and spelled her name for the chimpanzees, adorably thinking they all knew American Sign Language.

"How spells Lucy?!" Lucy screeched, anxiously wanting to spell her name for her favorite animal.

"Like this," Jolie responded as she held up her hand and slowly signed L-U-C-Y repeatedly for her niece.

"Look, monkeys!" Lucy yelled as she mimicked her sister's actions and sloppily spelled her own name with her hands.

"I didn't know you knew sign language," Jesse stated, impressed and curious.

"There's probably a lot you don't know about me," she replied coyly.

"Like what?" He wondered.

"Well, I used to cook meth," she stated simply but quietly so the girls wouldn't hear.

For a brief moment, Jesse stared at her. He knew she was completely full of shit, but he was unable to gauge her tone and blank expression – until she winked at him and smirked, causing a smile to break out across his own face.

"You little shit," he whispered to her.

Though the joke was at his expense, he could appreciate the fact that she was able to joke about his past, bringing even more relief to him that things were finally and permanently looking up. He had nothing more to hide and everything to give.


	28. Chapter 28

Nervously, Jesse stood in front of the giant full-length mirror outside of the courtroom, fidgeting with his hands in his pockets, checking his appearance. He wore a nice dark green button up shirt with a silver tie and black slacks. His hair was recently buzzed and he had trimmed his facial hair appropriately for the occasion.

As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, he ran the pad of his index finger over the length of the rugged scar on his cheekbone. He sighed deeply. He didn't like the constant reminder of his unbelievable past, and he thought the mark was ugly, but the subtle stubble on his face made it less noticeable.

It was a good thing Jolie liked when he had a slight beard.

Moments later, Coop and Linda walked into the courthouse, walking over to Jesse when they noticed him off to the side.

"Are they in there already?" Linda asked.

Jesse nodded. "They've been in there for about ten minutes already. They should be calling us to go in soon."

"You look nervous, son," Coop pointed out.

"I am," Jesse replied. "I don't know why."

Suddenly, the doors to the courtroom opened and Gwen poked her head out. "They're about to sign the papers – come on in."

Jesse, Coop, and Linda followed suit into the courtroom, where a judge was sitting behind her bench, wearing her full robe. Jolie, Lucy, and Lia were gathered behind the judge. The look on Jolie's face spoke volumes. Jesse had never seen her so vibrant and happy before.

Lia and Lucy waved happily to the familiar trio as they joined them behind the judge.

"Judge Cain, this is my father, Cooper, my mother, Linda, and a special family friend, Jesse," Jolie introduced.

"Nice to meet you all," Judge Cain smiled. "Well, if everyone is here, let's get this thing finalized! Gwen, I'll have you go first – sign here and here as witness," she pointed to random places on the paper.

Everyone watched as Gwen leaned over and signed her name. Linda began taking pictures with her camera.

"Okay, then Miss Quinn, I'll have you sign here, here, and here," Judge Cain pointed throughout the paper again.

Linda continued taking photos as Jolie wrote fluidly on the formal piece of paper.

"Great. Now I will sign the adoption decree," Judge Cain stated as she wrote her own name then stamped a few different pages.

Jesse smiled at Jolie, feeling nervous yet ecstatic for her. With raised eyebrows, she smiled back excitedly. He could tell she was feeling the same way. It was something that seemed so simple on the outside, with the laid-back judge and casual invitation for the family to watch, but it made such a profound difference in their lives.

"Congratulations," Judge Cain announced. "Jolie Jade Quinn, you are now the legal guardian and mother of Lianna Raquel Quinn and Lucille Louise Quinn."

Everyone began clapping as the happiest smile spread across Jolie's face. Tears filled Linda's eyes as she hugged her daughter and granddaughters. Jesse laughed; the woman was always moved to tears.

"Yay!" Lucy exclaimed as she clapped.

"I think we need to celebrate!" Coop stated happily, showing great emotion.

"Hot chocolate and beignets!" Lia screeched.

"Let's do it, kid!" Coop agreed.

~

His palms were clammy and shaky. Thickening beads of sweat lined his brow and dampened his forehead. He had been pacing back and forth across his bedroom floor for about an hour, silently debating with himself and grumbling with irritation. He looked like a damn crazy person. He _felt_ like a damn crazy person. Hell, he _was_ a damn crazy person at that point, unsuccessfully mustering up the courage to go talk to Coop and Linda. He was trying so hard not to make a big deal out of it that he ultimately made a huge deal out of it. And he hadn't even made it out of his bedroom yet.

"For fucks sake, just do it, ya bitch," Jesse fussed quietly at himself.

He turned on his heel, deciding that once he started moving, he wouldn't stop. And he didn't. Not until he had gone through the garage, into the house, and into the living room where Coop and Linda were sitting together on the couch watching something or another on the TV.

"Coop, Linda," Jesse began, more seriously than he had intended. "Can I talk to you guys for a second?"

"Of course, honey," Linda answered, sitting upright to give him her full attention.

"What's going on, son?" Coop asked, shifting to face Jesse.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Jolie and the girls," he stated, wringing his fingers together nervously as he sat down on the adjacent loveseat. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"What about them?" Coop wondered.

"I'm in love with them," Jesse blurted, a little too soon. "Shit," he groaned, always seeming to lose his cool when he was nervous. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so abrasive. The words are just coming out."

"Oh, honey," Linda cooed, placing her hand over her heart with a warm and slightly sympathetic smile.

Coop simply stretched his arm over the back of the sofa behind his wife, with an amused smile on his face at Jesse's blubbering, anticipating what else he was going to spit out.

"I just want you to know that I love your daughter very much," Jesse informed them. "And, like you said before Coop, I think the sun shines out of her ass, and I can't even believe I'm allowed to be around someone like her."

Coop smirked as Linda gave him a brief bewildered glance then turned back to Jesse.

"And your granddaughters are the cutest goddamn things I've ever seen," Jesse sighed. "And they're so smart and so fun, and I just love spending every waking minute with them and with Jolie."

Linda smiled sweetly in adoration and appreciation, and Coop couldn't help but smile as well. As parents, nothing seemed to please them more than hearing someone speak such incredible words about the child they created and the children that their other child created. And it was even more moving to know that someone had such incredible feelings for them on top of that.

"I just... I mean..." Jesse took a deep breath. "Is that okay?"

"Is it okay that you love them?" Coop sought clarification.

"I guess," Jesse sighed. "I don't know. All I know is that I want to take your daughter out on dates, proper dates, and I want to marry her, and I want to start a life and a family with her and the girls, and I know that I am dumping **so** much on you at once, but I can't wait another day."

"Jeez, kid, are you asking us if you can take Jolie out on a date or if you can ask her to marry you?" Coop wondered.

"Both," Jesse spat. "I mean, not right away. Well, yes right away. To the date. Not to marry her. But I want to do that too."

Coop chuckled. "Take a deep breath, son."

Jesse nodded, inhaling deeply then exhaling slowly. "You guys know that we've kinda been seeing each other, and I've been trying really hard to not show too much affection to Jolie around you. I want to act appropriately and respectfully, especially while I'm living in your house and after all you've done for me, but I'm ready to get serious with her. And I just wanted to tell you my intentions and make sure it was okay with you. Because I'm trying to do the right thing. For once in my life. To the people who deserve it the most. And this is the one thing I absolutely will not allow myself to screw up."

Coop simply stared at the nervous, somber expression on Jesse's face. Though he wanted to chuckle at how formal and serious the boy was being, he couldn't. Because he could tell how much thought he had put into this and how much it meant to him. He adored Jesse and would've given his permission even if Jesse had approached him and simply said, 'I'm marrying Jolie tomorrow and you can't stop me,' but he appreciated his sincerity and respect and how hard he was trying for them.

Linda glanced over at her husband with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Well, Lin can't speak or else she'll morph into a human waterfall of tears," Coop sighed, understanding the look his wife was giving him. "But I speak for both of us when I say that we are more than okay with you being with Jolie."

Linda nodded quickly, placing her hand on her heart as she often did. A couple of heavy tears quickly raced down her cheek.

"We appreciate the effort you put forth with her and our granddaughters," Coop added sincerely. "And we appreciate your regard for our approval and opinion."

Jesse sighed heavily with relief. He didn't necessarily think they wouldn't give their approval, but he was so glad that conversation was over with, despite the fact that he made a colossal fool out of himself and made an even greater deal out of a conversation that was intended to be mostly casual.

But he realized that wanting to seek their approval only confirmed how intense his feelings for Jolie were. Which meant he was in the first steps of settling down. And he had **never** been one to settle down.

He feared he was losing his identity. And he was. But he was gaining a new one. A better one.


	29. Chapter 29

The house was quiet for once. Jesse sat at the kitchen table, twirling the foil wrapper from a Hershey Kiss between his fingers, indulging in a sweet nighttime treat as he waited for Jolie to get out of the bathtub. Lucy and Lia were already tucked into bed, the house was already cleaned up, and it wasn't even nine o'clock at night yet.

Though it was nice to have a calm moment of silence, Jesse wasn't truly fond of it.

He appreciated the noise now. The sound of family. The sound of happy children. The sound of laughter and fun. He wondered how much he would appreciate those sounds and this new life if he didn't have such a dark past. In an odd way, he found himself thankful for his old life. He learned lessons, fought hard for his new life, and became a better person. Maybe he wouldn't have learned those lessons without his shitty past. Maybe he wouldn't appreciate how good his life is now.

It was strange how he went from despising his past to appreciating it for how it brought him to his current point in life. It only served as more proof to how much he had grown.

The approaching sound of tiny bare feet slapping against the wood floor pulled Jesse out of his thoughts.

"Hey, are you eatin' chocolate?" Lucy asked accusingly as she made her way to the table.

"Maybe," Jesse answered carefully as he watched her climb into the chair adjacent to his.

Lucy held out her little hand expectantly.

Jesse chuckled at her sassiness but shook his head. "No way. It's too close to bedtime and your aunt would kill me. But nice try."

Slowly but surely, she sunk her head and stuck out her bottom lip then glanced up at Jesse with pitiful big blue eyes. Jesse sighed, knowing he was putty in the little girl's hands but also that she should not be having chocolate so close to bedtime. Nevertheless, he eyed the hallway behind her to check for any signs of Jolie.

"Do not tell your aunt, okay?" He compromised, or rather caved in.

Instantly, Lucy's eyes brightened and she nodded with a wild look in her eyes as Jesse unwrapped the chocolate and placed it in her hand. He tossed another piece in his mouth as Lucy started to devour hers. Once her piece was gone, she held out her hand again.

"Last one," Jesse warned yet handed her two pieces.

Like two peas in a pod, they sat at the table, chewing their chocolate in silence when Jolie stealthily appeared in the doorway.

"What are y'all doing?" She asked with a hand on her hip.

With wide eyes, their jaws froze, and they whipped their heads up toward the incriminating voice simultaneously.

"Nuh'in," Jesse muttered with a mouth full of chocolate as he tried to quickly chew and swallow.

Jolie pursed her lips.

"Lucy, what are you eating?" She asked her niece.

"Uh. Nuh'in," Lucy mimicked Jesse's muffled answer.

Nervously, Lucy glanced over at Jesse, who noticed chocolate smeared on the corner of her mouth.

"Aw, Luce," Jesse laughed as he swallowed his bite and wiped the chocolate off her face with the pad of his thumb. "Everyone knows you gotta get rid of the evidence."

"Sorry!" She peeped.

"Now you have to brush your teeth again, Lucy," Jolie sighed, glaring at Jesse as a subtle warning. "Come on."

"Aw!" Lucy protested verbally but stood up and obliged.

"Night, Luce," Jesse called sheepishly.

"Night!" Her sweet little voice called back.

He felt guilty as he watched Jolie walk the tiny blonde to the bathroom. He cleaned up the chocolate wrappers and pushed in the chairs so the kitchen would look nice, as if that would make up for giving Lucy chocolate at night.

After Jolie returned, Jesse put on _his_ serious puppy dog eyes, just as Lucy had done to him.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "It was just a few pieces of chocolate."

Jolie sighed. "But Lucy's almost four. She's old enough to know better but still young enough to push the boundaries and see what she can get away with. I love that you want to be their friend, Jesse, but if you're gonna be in their lives like this, you've gotta have a backbone. It starts with a few pieces of chocolate and turns into much more if you don't give them structure. You have to be able to say no or discipline them."

Jesse nodded, understanding what she meant. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm new at this," he defended. At this point, he still just wanted the girls to like him.

"I know," she replied sympathetically. "But the girl's need guidance and structure. Don't forget that."

He nodded, again, knowing she was right, but unsure if he'd be able to follow through with Jolie's advice when the time came.

But the next day, as fate would have it, he was put to the test.

Jesse and Jolie had just gotten home from picking up Lucy from her half-day preschool. Jolie began cleaning up a bit, since she didn't have time to do so before, thanks to Jesse wrangling her back to bed to writhe between the sheets while the girls were gone. Not that she minded.

Lucy quickly discarded her backpack by the front door and dashed to the kitchen, where she climbed up on the kitchen table and reached into the candy bowl for a piece of chocolate.

"Let's eat lunch first, Luce," Jesse said simply as he walked in the kitchen behind her.

"Noo!" Lucy replied stubbornly.

"Hey, lunch first then chocolate," he restated his request.

"No!" She snapped again with the sass of a teenager then grabbed the Hershey's Kiss. "Chocolate now!"

"You need to eat lunch first before you have a piece of chocolate," Jesse said, attempting to reason with the child. Which was his first mistake. "Besides, you know you have to ask before you have candy."

Deliberately disobeying him, Lucy began unwrapping the piece of chocolate.

Jolie, having heard the whole exchange so far, walked down the hallway to reprimand her niece, but when she saw Jesse standing there, looking conflicted and helpless but wanting to do the right thing, she cleared her throat to get his attention. Jesse glanced at her and she gave him a look that he understood. He needed to discipline her. But what did he do? Did he spank her? Did he send her to her room? Did he take away a fun toy or TV for the day?

"Lucy," he began, uncertain. "Put down the chocolate. And go...to your room..."

Her little fingers stopped moving but she simply stared at him, as if she saw right through his pathetic demand. Jolie could see Jesse crumbling right in front of her so she cleared her throat again and gave him another look that said to stand firm. So he did.

"Give me the chocolate," he said with much more certainty as he stepped closer to the little girl and extended his hand.

Tears began to well up in her gentle blue eyes, not because she cared about the chocolate that much, but because Jesse was being firm and fussing at her for the first time ever, and his heart began to break. But that's when he saw it. He saw the two directions her life could take at that moment. She was a great kid, so with discipline and a good role model early on, her life would be pointed toward success and happiness. But with no structure and no proper guidance, she could end up on the wrong path. She could end up being a disrespectful little shithead like him. Or worse. She could end up like Jane. He **never** wanted to see Lucy or Lia in bed with a drug addict, dying from a drug overdose, with no chance in the world for success.

And that was when he realized how big of a role he would be playing in their lives if he continued to be involved with their aunt. For a millisecond, it scared him so much he wanted to run out the door and far away. But he knew he had it in him to be the person that the girls needed. He knew he could and would do whatever it took to keep them away from the life he once lived.

"Lucy, give me the chocolate and go to your room for not listening," he repeated with a stern voice.

With a quivering bottom lip, Lucy handed over the chocolate but didn't move further. She was testing him. She was used to him being fun Jesse who would never scold her and would always let her do what she wanted. He had to put a stop to that now before she was a teenager walking all over him and ruining her life before it began.

"Now go to your room," he said calmly but surely.

Relenting, Lucy stomped toward the hallway then broke out into a full sprint and wailed pitifully as she ran to her room and slammed the door.

Jesse sighed with relief that it was finally over then looked over at Jolie with agony. "How do you do this shit?" He asked. "Can I go hug her now?"

"Not yet," Jolie answered with a smile. "I know that was hard but you handled that perfectly." She was so pleased with the way Jesse responded, and she saw so much potential in his abilities to help parent the girls. She could tell that he understood why it was important to be that way with the girls and that he knew it was the right thing to do for them. Plus it turned her on immensely to see him be so fatherly to Lucy.

He rubbed his face, in disbelief that he sounded so much like a fucking **dad** – like _his_ fucking dad – and sighed again. "I don't want her to hate me."

Jolie frowned. "She's not going to hate you. She thinks the world of you."

"She _did_," he retorted. "Before I made her cry and sent her to her room. She's three. She's a baby. I punished a baby."

"She's almost four. She's a kid. You didn't yell, you weren't mean, and you did the right thing," she reassured. "She'll get over it."

"I sent her to her room because she tried to eat chocolate before lunch. I am a monster," he debated.

She laughed and walked over to him then wrapped her arms around his neck. "You sent her to her room because she didn't listen. You had to be a little tough the first time because she's not used to you punishing her. It won't always be like that."

He frowned and wrapped his arms around Jolie's waist. "Can I go tell her I'm sorry now?"

"No," she said softly. "You can't be sorry for doing the right thing for her. But you can go tell her that she can come out of her room and eat lunch then you'll give her a piece of chocolate."

He nodded. "Kiss me first."

With a smile, she reached up on her tippy toes and planted her lips onto his. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of the way she tasted or the way she smelled or the way her lips felt when they kissed.

"I love you," he mumbled against her mouth.

Butterflies fluttered throughout her stomach at his words. Though it wasn't the first time he said that to her, he didn't say it very often, which made his words even more meaningful to her.

"I love you too," she affirmed as they broke out of their kiss.

She blinked a few times, trying to regain her composure as he took off down the hall toward Lucy's room.

He knocked on the door softly then opened it to see Lucy laying on her bed looking at a book. She was no longer crying but her eyes were still a little red.

"Hey," he said gently, unsure of how to begin.

She glanced at him and sniffed but her expression remained neutral. He couldn't tell if she was still upset or if she was over it already. He wanted to apologize and beg her to not hate him, but he heeded Jolie's advice.

"Ready to come eat some lunch?" He asked.

She nodded and closed her book then climbed off of her bed. When she approached Jesse at her door, he kneeled down to her eye level.

"Can I have a hug?" He asked warily, not sure if he was pushing it or not.

Again, Lucy nodded. She threw her arms around him and hugged his neck. Jesse wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head, his own form of an apology.

"You know I love you, right?" He questioned softly, amazed that he found himself in a situation where he had so much love to give two little girls that were not his by blood.

She nodded, for a third time, against his shoulder.

"Do _you_ still love _me_?" He wondered.

Yet again, the little blonde nodded. He didn't like how much her silence reminded him of when she wouldn't talk after her parents' accident, but when she placed a small kiss on his cheek, Jesse melted, knowing she was fine.

He pulled out of the hug and smiled at her sweetly then stood up and led her to the kitchen where they had lunch then chocolate for dessert. And after it was all said and done, Jesse knew he would always do the right thing for the girls, even if he would hurt from it.


	30. Chapter 30

Jesse narrowed his eyes at the creatures falling out of the big pot and landing in heaps on the long table in front of him. The aroma of the freshly boiled crawfish rose into the air with the swirls of steam, and he had to admit that they smelled incredible. He had eaten seafood before but never like this, and he had certainly never been to a "crawfish boil" before. Hell, he always thought they were just tiny lobsters. But that didn't seem to be the case.

The whole Quinn family sat outside in the backyard around a long foldout table that was lined with newspapers and piled high with crawfish, clearly very used to this type of dinner.

"What are you doing to him?" Jesse asked with a grotesque face as he watched Lia pick up a little red crustacean and begin to pull him apart, limb-by-limb.

"I'm peeling him, silly!" She laughed as she annihilated the shell.

Coop let out a hearty laugh as he watched Jesse's react to his granddaughter's natural southern ability to peel and eat crawfish.

"Yum! I love crawfish season!" Lia exclaimed as she ate the meat from the tail.

"It's a season?" Jesse asked as he watched Linda set a few rolls of paper towels around the table.

Jolie laughed as she placed pitchers of ice water around the table as well. "Crawfish are 'in season' this time of the year."

"You're about to experience your first real Louisiana traditions, son," Coop announced as he began to 'peel' his own crawfish.

"I _thought_ I had experienced a real Louisiana tradition with the hurricane," Jesse replied, taking everything in.

"That wasn't quite as fun as Carnival season will be," Linda explained.

"There's a Carnival season too?" Jesse asked.

"Best time to be in Louisiana," Coop added. "Mardi Gras, crawfish, and perfect weather."

Jesse had heard of Mardi Gras and knew what it was about, but it was hard to imagine Coop catching beads with a bunch of topless women.

As if she read his mind, Jolie injected. "And not the type of Mardi Gras that the tourists come for."

"Oh, heavens no," Linda added. "The family-friendly type of Mardi Gras."

Relieved, Jesse nodded.

"Grab one," Jolie said. "I'll show you how to peel it."

He picked one up carefully with just his index finger and thumb, holding it out like it was diseased. Hell, for all he knew, it **was** diseased.

"Pinch the tail like this," she demonstrated.

He imitated her exact movements.

"And pull it apart from the body at an angle, giving it a little twist to pull it clean off," she continued.

He did as she did, but his outcome didn't look quite as graceful as hers. She tossed the 'body' off to the side but kept the shelled tail, and he followed suit.

"Now pop the first few sections of the shell off of the tail," she explained, still showing him exactly what to do.

He struggled at first but eventually got it.

"Then pinch the meat with one hand and the end of the tail with the other and pull," she said as she easily removed the rest of the shell from the meat.

He did the same, pleased with himself when his final product looked mostly like Jolie's. Except for one thing.

"What's the brown stuff?" He asked. "Yours doesn't have that."

"It's the, uh, vein," Jolie said sketchily. "Mine came out when I pulled the rest of the shell off."

"The vein?" Jesse asked.

"It's his poop," Lia said matter-of-factly.

"Seriously?" Jesse asked Lia, who nodded with certainty in response. He turned his gaze toward Jolie who laughed.

"I think its part of their intestines," she answered.

"You can eat it, son," Coop stated as he popped tail meat into his mouth. "Boiling them kills any bacteria that would kill you. I never take the vein out."

"I do," Jolie said softly. "You can if you want."

Cautiously, Jesse pulled the vein off in one quick movement.

"There," Jolie noted. "Now eat it."

"All that work for this little piece of meat?" Jesse asked.

She shrugged and nodded, eating the piece she had just peeled.

Jesse put his own peeled meat into his mouth then groaned. "For a tiny ass piece of crawfish, it's damn good." It tasted like shrimp or lobster but had a very distinct and different spice to it. It had a spicy kick but wasn't overkill. He liked it. A lot.

Coop nodded in acknowledgement of Jesse's compliment.

Over the next hour, Jesse practiced the skill of peeling crawfish, improving each time he ate one. By the end of their dinner, he was peeling them as fast and as clean as Lia. Maybe that wasn't saying much. And though it was still a foreign concept to him, he enjoyed the crawfish boil and how much it made him feel even more like a part of the family.

~

A loud crash jolted Jolie awake on a Sunday morning in May. She quickly sat up in bed, trying to determine the source of the noise and how threatening it was. She glanced at the clock. It was 8:07 in the morning. Which was weird, because the girls usually wake her up much earlier than that.

There was another loud crash – something falling, possibly in the kitchen, clattering and clanking all over the floor.

Lia shouted, "Lucy!"

Lucy squeaked, "Oops!"

Jesse hushed, "Shh!"

Instantly, Jolie was flooded with relief knowing Jesse was in the house and not an intruder. And that the girls were up and not sick, which would be the only explanation for her being able to sleep late. She could hear shushed murmuring from the front of the house and giggled, knowing that Jesse was up to something with the girls.

"Just stay in here and be quiet, I'll go check," she heard Jesse whisper loudly as footsteps approached the bedroom door.

The knob slowly turned and the door delicately opened. Jesse poked his head in the doorway and frowned when he saw Jolie awake and sitting up in bed. He discreetly stepped into the room and shut the door softly behind him.

"Please pretend like you're asleep when the girls come in here," he pleaded quietly. "For their sanity, yours, and my own. "

She laughed and nodded. "I will. What's going on?"

"It's a surprise," he said with a smile as he quickly and quietly shuffled over to the bed, leaned down and kissed her lips.

She kissed him back sweetly. Taking that as a sign to go ahead, he brought a hand up, cupping her braless breast and giving it a firm squeeze.

"Ugh," he groaned into her mouth at the pleasant thought of her braless and at the painful feeling of a thin shirt preventing his hand from touching her bare skin.

She smiled into the kiss at his agony then shivered when he grazed his thumb over her nipple, forcing it taut.

"Jesse?" Lia's hushed whisper came from the other side of the door, causing him to pull away from their kiss with wide eyes, as if he had been caught.

"Don't forget – be asleep," he reminded Jolie as he rushed away from the bed and back to the door where he quietly opened the door and hushed Lia.

"Is she still asleep?" Lia asked.

"Yeah she's asleep," he reassured as he slipped through the door opening then shut it behind him.

"What were you doing in there?" Jolie heard Lia wonder as they began to walk away.

"I had to make sure she wasn't faking it," Jesse fibbed convincingly. "I was poking her and lifting her eyelids and telling her jokes but she didn't budge or laugh, so she's asleep."

Jolie chuckled then laid down in her bed and shut her eyes to feign sleep so she didn't disappoint her nieces. Or Jesse.

Moments later, without much warning, Lia, Lucy, and Jesse busted through the bedroom door.

"WAKE UP!" Lucy shouted.

Jolie shot upright with wide eyes and saw Lia carrying a large bouquet of flowers, Lucy carrying a giftbag, and Jesse carrying a tray of breakfast foods and a mimosa.

"Oh my gosh! What are y'all doing?!" Jolie wondered, truly surprised now.

"Happy Mother's Day to youuu," all three sang to the tune of 'Happy Birthday' as they walked into the room. "Happy Mother's Day to youuu! Happy Mother's Day, Dear Aunt Jooo! Happy Mother's Day to you!"

Tears lined the rims of Jolie's eyes as the girls jumped into the bed with her.

"These are for you!" Lucy explained happily as she handed her the big bouquet of flowers.

"This is too!" Lia added, giving her the gift bag.

"And all this is for you too," Jesse finished with a wink as he set the tray across her lap. Blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, French toast, and fresh fruit covered the tray entirely.

"Were you surprised?" Lia questioned, dying to know.

"Very surprised!" Jolie answered with a smile. "Best surprise ever!"

"Well you never had a Mother's Day before, but you're our mother now, so you get one this year!" Lia explained.

Jolie's heart thumped in her chest as a single tear scurried down her cheek.

"I am so happy that I get a Mother's Day now," she said to both of them, still smiling. "Thank you." She reached out her arms and hugged them both. They hugged her back happily.

"Open your present!" Lucy screeched.

"Okay, okay!" Jolie complied as she reached for the gift bag then took out the card. It was handmade with drawings all over the front.

"That's you and a butterfly and a sun and our house," Lia explained as she pointed out each drawing.

"I love it," Jolie commented as she opened the card and read it aloud, "_'Happy Mother's Day! I love you! Love, Lia_' – thank you, Lia; that's very sweet." She continued to read what looked like Jesse's handwriting: "_'I love you, Aunt Jo! Mother's Day! Mama! Michaelangelo! (Then she spelled her name in sign language) Love, Lucy!' – _aww, Lucy, thank you."

"I can't write," Lucy stated.

Jolie laughed.

"I helped her write but she told me specifically what to say," Jesse explained. "And she even threw some ASL in there."

"It's perfect," Jolie assured as she closed the card then pulled a small box out of the gift bag.

She opened the box and inside was a necklace with two beautiful stones, which she quickly recognized as Lia and Lucy's birthstones.

"It's beautiful! Did you girls pick this out?" Jolie asked.

They both nodded their heads excitedly, smiling from ear to ear.

"I love it!" Jolie encouraged as she took the necklace out. "It's perfect!" She put it on her neck and smiled then hugged them again. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome!" Lia replied.

"Welcome!" Lucy peeped.

"Alright, girls, lets go clean up the kitchen while Aunt Jo eats her breakfast in peace, okay?" Jesse suggested.

"Okay!" Lia and Lucy simultaneously responded as they hopped off the bed and darted toward the kitchen.

"Jesse," Jolie sighed.

"Jolie," he mock-sighed, sitting on the bed by her.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Hey, I just did what the girls told me to do. I'm not kidding when I say this was all their idea," he stated.

"Really?" Jolie asked.

"Yep. One day after school, Lia waited until you left the room and told me that her teacher told their class that Mother's Day was coming up and that they all needed to remind their dads to do something nice for their moms and that I had to help since you're their mom now and their dad is in heaven," Jesse explained. "She said we needed to wake you up with breakfast in bed because that's your favorite, and we needed to get you some jewelry cause you love sparkly jewelry. So we looked up Mother's Day jewelry online and they picked out that necklace – of course I had to figure out their birthstones which was surprisingly easy – then Lucy wanted to get flowers and picked out literally the biggest bouquet that the flower shop had," he laughed. "And we cooked every breakfast item that the girls could think of."

Jolie chuckled. "They're so sweet. I am truly impressed."

"Yeah," Jesse agreed as he stood. "This shit is going to give me cavities."

Jolie laughed and smacked his butt as he turned to walk away.

"Hey," he turned around and eyed her with a sexy look. Then his face softened. "Oh wait, I almost forgot."

He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to her then kissed her forehead. "Happy Mother's Day, babe."

He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Curiously, Jolie opened the envelope and pulled out a thick card.

The front read: **_"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." – Oprah Winfrey_**

Jolie smiled and opened the card. Something started to fall out but she caught it. A gift card for a spa day. She smiled even more. So sweet. She could not wait to spend a day being pampered at the spa.

The inside of the card read: **_You made a special choice and changed lives. Today, we celebrate YOU, a Mother. Happy Mother's Day!_**

Below the inscription, Jesse wrote: _Every day I am amazed by you and your selfless decision to adopt Lia and Lucy and your ability to love them unconditionally as your own. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it all. I love you more than words can explain. Love, Jesse _

  
~

"Happy Mother's Day!" Jolie, Jesse, Lia, and Lucy hollered as they walked into Coop and Linda's house, surprising Linda, who was resting on the sofa as Coop attempted to wash the dishes in the kitchen.

"Well, thank you!" Linda exclaimed.

Lucy ran up to her, handing her an envelope as Lia followed close behind with another large bouquet of flowers.

"How beautiful!" Linda wailed happily. "Thank you, my girls!"

She hugged them both. Then opened the card. "Ooh a spa day! Thank you!"

"Me and Jesse are gonna watch the girls so you and Jolie can spend a day at the spa gettin' facials and massages and all that shit," Coop announced nonchalantly.

"Grandpa Coop!" Lia exclaimed, calling him out on his curse.

"Ooh," Lucy teased. "He said shit."

"Lucy!" Jolie reprimanded.

"What!" She protested, with her arms up. "Granpa said it!"

"Don't say bad words even when Grandpa says them," Jolie reminded.

"Okay," Lucy shrugged then sat down on the couch by her grandmother.

Jesse laughed then leaned down to kiss Linda's cheek. "Happy Mother's Day, Linda." He handed her his own card, watching as she opened it and read his note, which read:

_Linda,_

_Thank you for taking me in and showing me how a real family loves. I don't have the greatest relationship with my own family, so it means the world to me that I get to be a part of yours. You don't know how much I needed the love and support of a real family when I came here. It saved me. And you have raised Jolie to be just as incredible of a mother as you are. Thank you for everything._

_I love you,_

_Jesse_

"Oh, stop it or I'm gonna cry," she replied with tears in her eyes as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for all of this."

As Lucy and Lia started telling Coop and Linda about their surprise for Jolie this morning, Jesse decided to sneak out for a second to take care of something that he had been meaning to do.

"I'll be right back," he said as he kissed Jolie's cheek.

"Okay," she said and watched as he discreetly left the room.

In his room above the garage, Jesse picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number that he hoped still belonged to its original owners.

The call trilled in his ear, ringing and ringing. Part of him wished his call wouldn't be answered. The other part of him was praying it would.

"Hello?"

The sound of her voice made Jesse's stomach twist into knots. He swallowed the lump in his throat before he spoke. "Mom?"

"...Jesse?" She wondered.

"Yeah, it's me," he said.

Silence.

"Um...I just wanted to tell you Happy Mother's Day," he informed her, hoping she wouldn't hang up. He was her son for fucks sake.

"...thank you," she said with a sigh.

"How's, uh, dad? And Jake?" He wondered, trying to keep her on the phone.

"They're good," she said simply.

"How," he cleared his throat. "How are you?"

"I'm good too," she said.

"Good," Jesse replied. He knew she probably wouldn't ask, but he wanted her to know how well he was doing. "I'm doing pretty good too. I'm living on a beautiful lake in Louisiana... I found a really good carpentry job. I'm learning a lot and I'm going to take over the business in the next few years when the owner retires... And I'm in love with a beautiful girl who I want to marry. She has two incredible daughters who make me want to be the best person I can possibly be..." He sighed. "And I haven't even _thought_ about touching a single drug."

He wasn't going to add that last line, but he knew she probably assumed that he was still on drugs. He wanted her to know that he wasn't. Not even close.

"That's...great, Jesse," she said in a voice that sounded beyond skeptical.

"Yeah," he sighed, fearing that his phone call was a failure. "Anyway, I got to go. I just wanted to call and wish you Happy Mother's Day and tell you that...I'm sorry for being such a little prick my whole life. And that I love you."

"...I love you too, Jesse," she said softly. "Thank you for calling. Maybe...maybe we can talk again soon."

She didn't ask for a number, but he felt it was an invitation for him to call again one day. He felt a wave of relief once they hung up the phone. Sure, she wasn't terribly excited to hear from him, but she only knew the old Jesse. He didn't blame her for not being excited about old Jesse calling her. But he wanted to introduce her to the new Jesse. Maybe one day she would get to know him. At least now she knew a better version of her son existed.


	31. Chapter 31

"Clean off the desk for me, would ya?" Coop requested as he and Jesse set the newly sanded entertainment center down in the middle of the shop. "I want to lay out the stain cans across the top so I don't forget the order I use them."

"On it," Jesse complied as he jogged over to the desk and began to move stuff around to clear some space for the stains.

He moved all the invoices to their designated folders and put all the pens, pencils, and markers back in the drawers where they belonged. Then he picked up Coop's schedule book and calendar and carried it over to a different desk, thinking about what a shitstorm it would be if a stain can fell over and spilled on it. He glanced at today's page in the book, thankful that the entertainment center was the only thing on the agenda.

Then, just as he went to set the book down on the other desk, he noticed today's date.

It had been a year, he realized. A year since he arrived in Louisiana. A year since his old life had ended. A year since his new life had begun. Since the rest of his life had begun.

It wasn't just a new chapter anymore. It was his life now. And it was permanent.

"Are we gonna finish this piece or are you gonna daydream all afternoon?" Coop teased.

Jesse glanced over his shoulder to see Coop standing next to the other desk, having already laid out all the stain cans, waiting impatiently.

"Sorry, Coop," he laughed and set down the schedule book then joined his boss across the shop.

"Alright, son," Coop began. "We're gonna start with this finish. Stain the whole piece then we'll go back over it with this one." He pointed to the various cans across the desk. "Grab a rag."

Though Jesse did as he was instructed, his mind was elsewhere.

He couldn't help but think about the past year. How much his life had changed. His priorities. His hopes. His dreams. His future. And the fact that every shitty thing that he had ever done in his life had somehow landed him right there. Right in that moment. It felt surreal. And he couldn't help but wonder how different his life would be at that moment if he hadn't made the decisions he made or if he hadn't done the things he had done.

For whatever reason, he must've had to go through every single shitty part of his life, endure every single shitty thing that happened, and do every single shitty thing he had ever done in order to end up staining a custom entertainment center with Cooper Quinn in that moment.

He knew he would've never appreciated how good he had it with the Quinns if he had met them any sooner in his life. Especially Jolie.

If he had somehow met Jolie before he dropped out of high school... Would he have even appreciated her at the time? Would he have had the balls to ask her out? Would she have given him a chance? And if she had, would he have treated her right?

"Custom stains are one of the easiest ways to make your pieces stand out," Coop started to explain to Jesse. "You can do as much intricate carving as you want but if your stain is bad or even just generic, the woodworking is pointless, kid."

Or if he had met her before he started working for Walter White... Would he have wanted to turn his life for her? Would he have even been mature enough to turn his life around? She wouldn't have had the girls yet but maybe he would've met them and wanted to be in their lives as their uncle. Would she have allowed that?

"Every little thing you do matters, of course," Coop continued. "But you have to be able to appreciate the piece when you're standing 20 feet away from it."

Or if he had met Jolie while he worked for Heisenberg... Well, she definitely never would've given him the time of day at that point in his life. He wouldn't have blamed her. But maybe he would've tried to be with her anyway. Maybe if he had met her and won her over, Jane and Andrea would still be alive.

"Perspective is everything, son," Coop ended his little 'lesson' with those words.

Or maybe...if he had pursued Jolie then, while he was working for Heisenberg, at the height of his moral shittiness...maybe Jolie would've been the one dead from a drug overdose or shot in the head on her own front porch. Maybe Jolie would've had the same fate as his previous girlfriends.

The thought made him physically feel sick. But if he had to wait his entire life, had to endure his entire shitty life, in order to get to this point, in Louisiana, woodworking with Coop, playing house with Jolie and the girls, then it was all worth it. He would do it all over again in a heartbeat, without hesitation, if he had to.

He couldn't and didn't want to change the past, because it led him to that woman and those girls and this family and this life. And that was all he needed.

Coop was right. Perspective was everything. And Jesse's perspective had completely changed.

He knew, right then and there, that it was time.

~

Lia and Lucy sat on the plush rug in the living room, making a giant floor puzzle together. Lucy giggled wildly as Lia purposefully tried to fit incorrect puzzle pieces together to entertain her sister. For whatever reason, it had them both cackling.

"Like this?" Lia asked, purposefully putting two completely different pieces together.

In between her giggles, Lucy shouted, "NOPE!" Which in turn made Lia laugh, which made Lucy laugh harder, which had both of them nearly falling over from laughing so hard.

Only a few feet away, Jolie sat on the couch, laughing to herself as she listened to the girls' antics. She flipped through the pages of a design magazine, looking for ideas of how to redo the girls' rooms. They were in need of updating and she wanted to paint and furnish their room with styles and colors that were appropriate for their age but that they could also grow into as teenagers.

She was so lost in her ideas that a sudden rapid banging on the front door startled her.

"Who's that?" Lia asked, alerted to the unfamiliar sound as hardly anyone ever knocked on their door unexpectedly.

"No idea," Jolie answered honestly with caution and uncertainty.

She had been pretty lost in her thoughts but she knew she didn't hear a car coming up the gravel driveway, a sound that definitely would've pulled her attention. She wondered if maybe she had accidentally locked the front door and her parents or Jesse couldn't get in. But a quick glance at the knob and deadbolt told her that the door was _not_ locked.

Lia watched carefully as her aunt stood up from her spot on the couch and walked over to the door then eyed the peephole. The door opened to reveal Jesse. Who looked panicked.

"Hey...?" Jolie greeted with a questioning intonation. "The door wasn't locked."

"I know," he exhaled deeply, clearly flustered.

"Why did you knock?" She asked with a laugh.

"I just-" He attempted to respond but then he inhaled and hunched over, propping himself up with his hands on his knees and letting out another deep exhale.

Was he trying not to hyperventilate? Or puke?

"Jesse, are you okay?" Jolie wondered with raised eyebrows. She couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh at his ridiculousness or freak out over his unusual demeanor.

"I mean, I've been thinking for weeks now, planning this big elaborate thing for you," he rambled, finally standing back upright, running his hand over the top of his head. "I wanted to be on a mountain with fireworks in the backdrop or on a tropical island with exotic birds and shit."

Lia gasped. "Jesse!" She admonished his cursing.

He looked over Jolie's shoulder, realizing he had an audience. "Sorry, baby girl," he apologized then turned back to Jolie. "I couldn't pull off the mountain or the island so I just planned on filling the house with a bunch of flowers and candles and shi-stuff."

"What are you talking about?" Jolie wondered, starting to worry about his frantic rambling, furrowing her brow. "And why are you still on the porch?"

"I knew, deep down, that none of that would matter to you in the long run, but I wanted to do it," he continued, ignoring her questions. "I wanted it to be huge and special and elaborate because that's what you deserve."

"Jesse, what-"

"But then I went out this morning and picked this up," he cut her off as he pulled out a small black box out of his pocket.

Jolie's eyes dropped to the item in his hand and she felt her cheeks turn warm.

"It took weeks to come in and I was fine just planning everything while I waited, but now that I finally have it..." he took a small breath. "I can't wait a second longer. I tried to put it in my sock drawer and just keep planning the perfect surprise, but it was the only thing I could think about, so I grabbed it and I just sprinted over here and up the porch steps and now I can't breathe, but I also can't spend another second without being engaged to you, without being one step closer to being married to you."

By that point, Jolie's heart was floating around in her stomach. She couldn't speak and her face looked somewhere between frantic and infatuated.

"And I'm sorry because this is not at all how I pictured it. But at this point, all that matters to me is that I spend the rest of my life with you. I just - I couldn't wait another second," he breathed as he lowered himself onto one knee. "Jolie, will you marry me?" He opened the box and revealed a sparkling 2-carat 6-prong solitaire diamond ring.

"Holy shit," Jolie whispered in a soft gasp, covering her mouth.

She had no doubt in her mind that she would marry that man one day. She knew it in her heart and in her soul. But Jesse had dropped zero hints that this would be happening any time soon. If he wanted to surprise her, he had succeeded.

"Oh boy!" Lia shouted cheerfully in the background.

Jolie could barely see him kneeling in front of her behind the tears muddled in the rims of her eyes. She couldn't speak. She could hardly breathe.

"Jo?" Jesse questioned, looking up at her expectantly. "You're gonna give me a heart attack, honey. Can you give me an answer?"

"Oh god," she exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in, placing her heart over her chest. "Of course. Of course, I'll marry you. I thought that was a given."

He laughed with relief as he stood and plucked the ring from the box. "Assumptions are not an option when you're vulnerably down on one knee with shaky hands." He took her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger.

"My god, Jesse," Jolie sighed. "It's beautiful."

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He pulled her body tight against his and kissed the side of her head.

"I love you," she whispered, kissing his cheek. "I love you so much."

His brow furrowed as he felt the purity of her words resonate in his bones in a way that was so rich it was painful.

"Yay!" Lia shouted as she ran over and barreled into them, wrapping her arms around their legs as best as her tiny arms could.

Lucy, not wanting to be left out, followed suit, running over to hug the newly engaged couple too.

"I told you she would love it!" Lia screeched.

"You what?" Jolie looked down at Lia, who was beaming up at them. "You knew?"

"Yeah!" Lia said, matter-of-fact. "Jesse said, 'can I marry your Aunt Jo?' And I said, 'I don't know, you have to ask her yourself.'"

Jolie laughed and Jesse smirked as he kissed the side of his _fiancée's_ head.

"Then what did I say?" Jesse provoked.

"Then you said that you love us and want to take care of us forever and ever but that you won't marry Aunt Jo unless we say it's okay," Lia explained.

"And what did you say after that?" Jesse egged.

"We say YES!!!" Lucy screamed.

Jolie chuckled with tears in her eyes. "When did all of this happen?"

"Last night when you were in the bath," Lia answered.

"I am amazed that you two kept that a secret the entire day," Jolie admitted.

"Well," Jesse began with a smirk and tilt of his head. "They might've had an incentive to keep quiet."

"Can we go get our necklaces now?" Lia wondered, buzzing with excitement.

"Your what?" Jolie wondered.

"Go ahead," Jesse allowed her.

Lia and Lucy took off simultaneously and darted to their bedrooms. Jolie followed, curious as to what they were doing, with Jesse close behind.

"Look!" Lia shouted as she dug a long, slim black box out of her sock drawer, where Jesse had prompted them to hide it. "Look at our wedding necklaces!"

Lia opened her box to reveal a necklace with three shiny interlocking rings hanging on a silver chain.

"It's from Jesse!" Lia explained.

Lucy stumbled in the room with her own box that she proudly showed off.

"These are beautiful, girls," Jolie commented, looking at the jewelry with so many questions and so many emotions.

"It's my mommy and daddy's rings and Jesse's ring," Lia continued.

"It's what?" Jolie asked, looking at Jesse.

"I hope that's okay," he said softly, giving her a humbled half-cocked smile. He looked at the girls who were busy taking their necklaces out of the boxes and putting them on. "Linda said it was okay. She gave me their rings. I had the jeweler make two circle pendants out of your brother's wedding ring and two out of his wife's ring, so both the girls could have a piece of their parents' rings, and then I had him make an extra pendant and interlock all three."

Jolie looked at him in disbelief. She was speechless.

"I actually wanted them to have their own rings, just like yours, but they'll outgrow rings in a few years," Jesse explained with a shrug. "This is something they can keep forever."

"That's incredible, Jesse," Jolie said. "The most thoughtful thing anyone has done for the girls. I know you said it's not how you pictured it, but this is better than any elaborate mountaintop island proposal. This is... us."

~

The house was quiet that night as Linda and Coop took the girls to their house to give the newly engaged couple some alone time. Jesse walked into the living room with two glasses of wine, seeing his beautiful fiancée, his future wife, curled up on the couch. The room was dark, only illuminated by the movie that was playing on the TV.

The scene was so surreal to him. Especially considering where his life was at a year ago.

She smiled at him as he sat beside her and handed her one of the glasses. She took it from him and brought it to her lips to take a sip.

"What's the third pendant for?" Jolie asked suddenly as she swallowed her first sip of wine.

"What?"

"On the girls' necklaces. You said one circle was made from my brother's ring and one was made from his wife's ring," Jolie explained. "But there's a third one. What's the third one from?"

"The jeweler made it out of the same block of metal that your ring is made from and that my ring will be made from," he enlightened. "I just want them to know that we're all in this together, their past intertwining with their future. It's not closing one book or starting a new one, it's just merging chapters and continuing their story."

Jolie thought her heart would melt right out of her chest and onto the most pathetic puddle in the middle of the floor. She knew Jesse had been through a lot, she knew he had done a lot, but his reincarnation into the man sitting beside her had to be the most incredible thing anyone could ever witness. What he did for the girls, making them a part of his life, including them in his proposal, it had to be most thoughtful thing anyone could ever do for them. His mindset about the whole thing was commendable. She would never doubt his ability to be a parent to them. A role model.

"I know I'm not marrying just you. I know I'm marrying them too, vowing to take care of them too," Jesse acknowledged. "I wanted to give them something that acknowledged that."

By this point, tears were spilling down Jolie's cheeks.

"I can't believe I get to marry you," she breathed, just before she leaned over and kissed him earnestly.

As he kissed her back, his brow furrowed again at the feeling of her unconditional love for his existence. He didn't think he would ever feel that from someone. He didn't think he would ever deserve that from someone. She fixed him. The girls fixed him. The whole damn family fixed him.

"I was thinking about something earlier," he said softly as he pulled away from her kiss.

"What's that, babe?" She wondered, nuzzling into his neck and inhaling his scent.

Cologne and cigarettes. A smell that made her feel like she was home, right there in the crook of his neck. After everything she and her family had been through in the past couple years, she was home. He would take care of her. He fixed her. He fixed the girls. He fixed the whole damn family.

"This might be dumb, I don't know, but..." he trailed. "I want to take your last name when we get married. Instead of you taking mine."

She pulled her head back to look at him and cocked her head to the side, surprised by his announcement.

"That way, the girls won't have a different last name than us, and I can become a real part of this family," he explained.

The smile that graced her face was full of admiration and heartbreak. "You're a real part of this family no matter what name you have, Jesse. Don't ever doubt that."

"Well, this way I can put my past behind me too. For good," he continued, not letting it go.

She pursed her lips as if she were about to protest. She appreciated what he was trying to do but she didn't ever want him to feel ashamed of who he was.

He finally exhaled then lowered his voice and admitted softly, "Baby, I don't want you to have Pinkman as your last name."

At those words, her face fell. She could see the pain and anguish on his face, could hear it in his voice.

"I would be _proud_ to have Pinkman as a last name," she admitted truthfully. "Of course it's connected to your past, but I'm not ashamed of you. Your past is always going to be your past, and although you did things you aren't proud of, you also overcame them, pushed through, and turned your life around in the most incredible way. And I'm proud of you for that."

He swallowed hard as tears lined the rims of his eyes. He couldn't believe someone could be so beautiful inside and out.

"How are you a part of my life?" He asked rhetorically with a soft voice. "All the things that I've done, all the hurt that I've caused... I don't deserve you. I never did and I never will."

When he blinked, a few stray tears raced down his cheeks.

The sight of his vulnerability and emotion sent Jolie's own tears down her cheeks again. "It doesn't matter what you've done or what you deserve. You've got me, Jesse. Forever."

\------------------------------

**Two Years Later...**

"Look at that huge fish!" Lucy shouted, pointing to the sea animal swimming above her head.

"That's a shark," Lia corrected, looking up at the peak of the aquarium tunnel.

"Duh," Lucy replied. "A shark _is_ a fish."

Lia rolled her eyes at her sister but couldn't disagree. "Yep."

Jesse smirked, proud that Lucy would never take anyone's shit, proud that Lia would never fight unnecessary battles. He watched them proudly while they stood next to Jolie and stared at the walls of the tunnel, the blue water reflecting onto their skin.

Jesse had learned that no matter what he did, he would never escape the color blue. He would never escape the tumultuous rollercoaster of emotions linked to that color. But his relationship with that color had come to conclusion.

It started out in the meth. The blissful color that haunted his dreams. That sent him on a journey he never anticipated. A journey he never expected to get away from.

Then it took the form of an aquarium tunnel, where his new life began, even if he didn't know it at the time, and where he saw the person who would save him, who would give his life purpose and worth.

And now, as blue reflected off of the aquarium tunnel and onto the face of his pregnant wife, the color took on a whole new meaning. Serenity. Harmony. Gratification. His life was where it was supposed to be. Finally.

"What?" Jolie asked, glancing at him in the corner of her eye, noticing her husband staring at her. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her belly that was seven months into growing their daughter, Layla.

His child. His daughter. Holy crap. He was completely outnumbered, but God, he hoped she had the same beautiful blonde hair that her mother and sisters had.

"Just thinking about the first time I met you. Right over there," he answered, nodding his head in the direction of where he first saw Jolie laying in the middle of the aquarium tunnel. "Compared to where we are now."

"Doesn't even feel like the same lifetime, does it?" She asked in amazement.

"Not even a little," he answered.

In the English language, blue is often associated with sadness. Blue is sorrow. Aloof. Blue is icy. Distant. Cold. A heartache ballad. Just look at how Elvis sang about it.

But blue is a spectrum. A spectrum of shades and hues. A spectrum of meaning.

Because blue is also the sky and the sea and all of the tranquil open spaces in between. Blue is calming. Blue is healing and sensitivity. It is reliable and responsible. It is loyal. And stable. And flourishing.

And now, Jesse is too.


End file.
